Beyond The Ice And The Fire
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: Can one heal after the loss one's soulmate? Leah finally snaps and Emily is killed. Bella takes it upon herself to heal Sam. Only is she willing to give up her own soulmate when another needs her more?
1. Preface Justice Never!

(Author's Note: I really do not like putting my AN at the beginning, but I thought it important to put this before the story starts so there is no confusion.

In this story, Bella never agreed to marry Edward and finds herself torn and confused over her feelings for Jacob. Which she has realized. She spends her days back and forth with the two until she is sure she can give one of them up.

This takes place after the Newborn battle.)

Preface: Justice, Never!

(Sam's POV)

I knew there had been something wrong with Leah for the past month. She may have become proficient at hiding her thoughts from the pack, but I knew her better than she realized. Better than she probably wanted. Apparently though, not good enough.

My paws struck the earth forcefully, kicking up dirt and mud. The dark mixture matting the fur on my flanks. The pain in my chest was becoming sharper and sharper, urging me closer home. I desperately tried not to pay attention to Jared's thoughts. The images of Leah as she thrashed harshly out at him all the while trying to get to Emily.

Jared kept blocking her, but I feared that Jacob and I wouldn't get there fast enough. Leah knocked him across the yard into a tree and I could hear the sound of his leg snapping. I ran the fastest I have ever ran in my life, but I already knew it was too late.

I watched in horror as Leah leapt away from Jared, landing right on top of Emily. I tried to order her to stop, just to stop, but she was already too far gone. She was no longer human.

Something had snapped in her. And I watched through Jared's eyes as Leah's claws dug into her cousin's chest, ripping bloodcurdling screams from the woman's mouth.

My heart stopped beating as she lowered her massive jaw down, and with one swift crunch and flick killed my Emily. My beautiful Emily, my life, my heart.

Pain and anger like I had never felt before rushed through me. I pushed my body to its limit in order to make it to my house, the pain in my body nothing compared to what my soul was going through.. I didn't stop once I got there, I didn't even look down at the remains of my soul mate. I only darted straight for Leah.

She no longer held any place in my heart, I now hated her with everything I had in me. In the back of my mind I registered the sound of both Jake and Jared behind me. The three of us circled Leah. Slowly stalking her, corralling her into a corner when she had no chance of escape. For this one moment the three of us stopped being human men, we had allowed the beast to burst forth. To control or movements, our actions. There had been only one thought on all three of our minds. To kill. No mercy.

I don't remember who had moved first or who it was that struck the killing blow, only that in the end Leah was laid out before me in her human body. Without any remorse or disgust for what I was about to do, I reached down and took her head in my jaws. Jake and Jared phased back, turning from me as I did to her as she had done to my Emily.

Justice? No, never, never for what she did.

AN: Right, well I hope I didn't confuse anyone if you all got notices for this story. I have joined the new wolf-centric site, Tricky Raven, and as I am starting to post some of my stories on there I desided to edit them first. So I desided to go ahead and post the edits here as well. It may take me a few days to get all the chapters back up though. Just so ya know there are not going to be any major plot changes, just fixing some spelling errors and filling out the chapters a bit, making it sound better. But this will end the same as before.

For all those just joining, I best give ya fair warning, this is not a sweet happy story, there is no HEA, sorry, this is dark, probably the darkest story, in fanfic anyway, that I have written.


	2. Struggle

Chapter One: Struggle;

(Bella's POV)

My old truck reluctantly chugged along as I headed for La Push. The image of Edward drifted through my mind as I drove. Ever since the end of the newborn battle he had been pushing for marriage. Almost forcefully, if I was truthful. I knew why of course, it wasn't in the hope that I would change my mind about being turned. Not like it had been in the beginning.

No, this was for an even more selfish reason. All because of a revelation I had before the battle had even begun. I had always known that I loved Jake, but it wasn't until the realization that he might actually end up dying that I truly knew that I was IN love with him. The knowledge almost knocked me off my feet.

The problem was I still loved Edward as well. In the end I found myself simply confused and unwilling to give either of them up. I was too scared of letting one go only to realize I had chosen the wrong man. So, I made a decision that was purely selfish, and unfair to both of the men that I loved.

Jake has been supportive about the whole thing, but I think that mainly has to do with the fact that it means he has the chance to actually win me completely.

Edward on the other hand, well he hasn't taken it all that well at all. Though this really shouldn't be all that surprising.

At first he had simply tried to figure out ways to keep me from La Push. There had been everything from my truck suddenly being stolen in the middle of the night to Alice actually hijacking me out on the road. I must tell you, there has never been a time where I had wanted superhuman strength more. Just so I could have knocked Edward's head around a little.

He finally gave up on that tactic when I had packed a bag, allowing Jake and Embry pick me up. I spent several weeks crashing on the couch in Billy's front room. After that was when he started in on the marriage issue with great vigor.

I have spent most of my time lately between both men. I knew I needed to choose, I was being unfair to both of them. I was hoping by dividing my time between the two that I would be able to figure out which one I could let go. At this point I didn't want to live without either of them. Sometimes I wondered why I couldn't be extremely selfish and just keep them both.

I pulled up the drive at Jake's, the door to his garage surprisingly shut. He normally kept it open when he was there. I sighed hoping that he was actually here, and that I didn't have to march all over the rez to find him. It wouldn't be the first time, pack duties kept him busy when he wasn't with me. Only, today we had plans.

Lately he had been canceling our dates, or when I would come by he would be gone on some errand or another. One would think he was avoiding me. I knew that couldn't be it, something was up and it had to do with the pack.

Even Embry and Quil had been silent recently. Neither of them joked around too much whenever we hung out. Something that gave them away much more than the tight expressions that graced the faces of the entire pack.

I opened my door and stepped out just in time to see Billy wheel himself out onto the porch.

"He is not here Bella, sorry. He had some things to pick up in Seattle. He won't be back until tomorrow." Well that was a load of bullshit if I had ever heard. I just nodded. I wasn't an imprint, and even though I was Jake's girlfriend that still didn't give me the right to know of pack business. Or at least, so said Sam.

"Ok, sure Billy. Mind if I hang out here for awhile? Edward and I got into another argument before I left, and I'm not looking forward to dealing with him at the moment." Edward lately seemed to enjoy picking fights. I know he was frustrated, this whole thing with Jake was really bothering him. But did he really have to fight with me?

"Sure, sure. Come on inside if you get hungry. There might be something left over in the fridge." I waited until he wheeled back inside before I entered the garage. Yep, what I thought. His Rabbit was still there. And I was sure he hadn't run all the way to Seattle.

I walked back out and closed the door. Something was going on, I just wish the pack would trust me enough to tell me. I decided that I might as well find something to do, cause I really didn't want to go home yet. Since the weather was actually pretty good I thought a walk on the beach would be a good idea. I hopped back inside my truck and trudged off.

The weather held out for at least a half hour after I got to the beach. Now it was pouring down and I was completely soaked. I walked for a little ways more. I was already wet, so it really didn't matter. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going or anything around me until the faint sounds of crying reached my ears.

A little ways off, sitting on the old piece of driftwood was Seth. He was practically curled up into himself, and obviously crying. It was a disturbing sight actually, I have never seen Seth anything but happy. He was the one person on the planet that I think could out smile Jake.

I sat down next to him and wrapped my small arms around his huge form. I swear he has gotten larger since I last saw him a few weeks ago. He leaned into me and pressed his face firmly into my neck. After awhile of combing my fingers through his hair I finally got him calmed down enough that I was able to pull him back to look in his eyes.

"Are you going to tell me what is wrong now? Is everything alright?" He just shook his head and tried to get up. I pushed on his shoulders and even though he remained I knew he had let me keep him down. When he looked into my eyes the pain there made my chest ache.

"No one told you?" Well obviously. Though I would never have said that to him, not with that pain in his eyes.

"No one tells me anything Seth, you know that. Now, what is the matter?" He curled back up in my arms like a small child. It was an action that scared the hell out of me. What could have possibly upset a werewolf so much that he took comfort in a human's arms?

"Leah and Emily are dead." I froze. That was the last thing I had expected him to say. Why didn't I know about this? Why didn't anyone know about this? The Clearwaters were friend's of Charlie's, surely he would have known. Wouldn't he?

"H-how?" Seth buried his face in my neck and held tightly to my waist. I began to run my fingers through his silky hair again, hoping to help calm him.

"Emily found out she was pregnant. Her and Sam weren't planning on telling anyone for a couple of months, till they were sure that she wouldn't miscarry. She had once before, right after they first got together.

"Leah and I had gotten into a fight and she got angry. She had trouble sometimes controlling her phasing. Well, Sam was already phased and alone at the time. I guess he was thinking about Emily being pregnant and well Leah snapped." I wasn't liking where this was going. I hadn't known Leah very well, she never was shy about her dislike for me, but one thing I did know about the only female wolf; her temper could make her irrational. It didn't take a genius to see where this story was going.

"What do you mean, snapped?" Please, oh please let me be wrong!

"Leah never really gave up hope that Sam would leave Emily and come back to her. She had been doing some research I guess about trying to break an imprint. Well when she saw Sam's thoughts she just snapped. I never wanted to admit it, but she was already on her way. The signs were all there, but everyone just ignored it as her being a bitch.

"S-she ran away before I was able to phase. Jared told me that she went straight for Emily's house. He had phased when he saw her running and when he realized what she was doing, tried to stop her." His voice had become a whisper against my skin. I started to rock him back and forth like he was a five year old that just had a nightmare. But, oh God, what a nightmare!

"I'm guessing that he didn't." He shook his head slightly.

"No, Jared, Sam and Jake got there too late. S-she bit off her head!" I cringed as he practically yelled in my ear. Though that pain was nothing to the sickness churning in my stomach. Bit off her head? I took a deep breath hoping that I would be able to keep from getting sick all over Seth.

"What about Leah? What happen…" Seth had pulled back and the look in his eyes shot pang after pang through my chest.

"T-they took care of her. She killed one of the imprints. It is pack law, none of the other wolves may harm their brother's imprint. She broke that when she killed Emily.

"They were justified in…in…doing that. Even the Elders said so, even Mom! She said there is nothing she can do about it. The pack may be part of the tribe, but there are certain laws that only the Alpha can enact. The Council are not allowed to interfere." We sat silently for awhile till the rain had finally cleared. I wanted to be able to tell him everything would be alright, but that would have been a heartless thing to say at the moment. What do you tell a boy, one that had been thrust into this world at such a young age, when they have just lost their sister in such a way? What do you say when his own mother says that the girl's murder had been justified? Instead I just sat back and wiped at Seth's face, trying to clear away all tears and rain. He really was still just a boy, a scared little boy.

"You should head back home. I'm sure your mother could use your company." He didn't say anything, just kissed my cheek before getting up to leave. I remained where I was. How could all this have happened? Sure Leah had been hurt and angry, but how had none of them seen what had been happening to her? How could no one see her humanity slipping away?

"Jake is going to flip his shit!" Startled, I looked behind me to find Embry, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his shorts. The stress lines remained around his eyes and mouth, and now I finally understood why.

"And why is that?' He came around the log to sit down beside me, wrapping me up in his arms. I hadn't realized how cold it really was until his heat enveloped me.

"He didn't want you knowing any of that. I told him he should have given an alpha order, someone was sure to spill it. Kind of hard to keep quiet about two deaths." He didn't look at me as he spoke, just kept his gaze out at the water in front of us. I knew he hadn't liked Leah, but she had still been his pack sister, just as Emily had been pack mother. My God, what a mess!

"Seth won't get in trouble will he? He had just looked so sad, and I had wanted to help." Surely after loosing both his sister and cousin in such a way they wouldn't punish him.

"Nah, poor kid. You needed to know anyway. I mean now that you are the Alpha's girlfriend and all." I sat up straight. Alpha? As in Jake was Alpha?

"What? What about Sam?" I could see a flash of pain and worry cross his face before he composed himself and turned to look at me.

"Sam is, well the thing is Bella, no one really knew what would happen to a wolf if their imprint died. Most of us thought the wolf would just die soon after. It has been a couple of weeks and he is still healthy. Well, physically at least.

"He hasn't phased back human since Emily died. We can't hear him anymore in the pack mind either. He just sits in front of Emily's house and won't let anyone near him. We're afraid he's gone wild. Jake has sort of been forced to become Alpha because of this. That is why he hasn't been around lately." So wonder everyone had been so solemn. I shivered as a cool breeze blew over us.

"Come on, Jake would have my tail if I allowed you to catch a cold."

As I drove home I couldn't get the image of Sam out of my head. I could just see him in his wolf form, sitting in front of Emily's house.

Without really thinking it through, I turned my truck right around and headed for the beautiful little house that Sam had shared with his imprint. All I could think about was when Edward had left me. It had been Sam that had found me and returned me home. I owed him for that, and not once have I ever tried to repay him or thank him.

Even after what Embry told me I wasn't prepared for what met me once I reached the house.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	3. Be There For You

Chapter Two: Be There For You;

(Bella's POV)

I just sat for a moment in my truck, not exactly sure what I was doing. You could probably write a book about all the stupid things I have done just in the past couple of years, things I had simply jumped into without thinking. I was sure this was one of those things. Going to confront a wolf that was possibly feral. Yep, most likely the stupidest thing I had done in awhile. Still, I could see just a few yards away where Sam was curled up in front of the house.

It was obvious that Sam needed help, help I was sure a pack of teenaged wolves would not be able to give. More than that though, I wanted to if I could. Sam had been there when Edward had left me lost in the woods, found me and brought me safely home when he could have just left my sorry behind on that wet ground. This was the least I could do to start to repay him.

As quietly as I could, considering who I was and the age of my truck, I opened my door. Of course Sam heard it, his ear twitching in my direction. He had turned his head toward me, but remained where he was just watching. I was sure his eyes were trained on my every move, ready to pounce if he thought me to be a threat.

Step by step I walked closer, my hands out in the universal sign of peace. I was two yards away when I started to realize that this was not just the stupidest idea in awhile, but probably in my life. I was pretty sure it was right up there next to getting a paper cut in front of a hungry vampire. The fur on his back was raised and I could see his lips start to curl in a snarl. It reminded me of the one time I had encountered a rabid dog when I was a child. The thing had stood only five feet in front of me, his hackles had been raised, his lips pulled tight into a snarl as bits of foam dripped from his jaw to the ground. It was one of the times I had truly been scared, and it hadn't helped when the guy that lived next door had saved me. No child should ever have had to seen such a thing.

I stopped where I was, knowing if I moved any closer he was sure to snap at me. With those jaws he could easily bust me in half with little effort. His upper lip lifted above his teeth and he snarled, low and deep, spittle flying from his mouth.

Articles of clothes were spread out all over the ground, and when I turned my head to the house I noticed that the door had been busted down. Sam must have rammed his way inside in order to get Emily's clothes.

"Sam, calm down. It's just me, Bella. I'm not here to hurt you, or touch anything. I just want to help." He continued to snarl, starting to stand. This was a very bad idea. I was going to get myself eaten. I really wanted to know, why do I always do the stupid things? I couldn't have just left this alone and let Jake take care of it. He may have been young, but he would have been better equipped to deal with an angry wolf. He also wouldn't have looked like a nice little snack either.

"Sam, come on now. You don't want to hurt me?" _Oh please, please don't let him want to hurt me!_ He advanced, step by step. All the while he snarled and growled, drool now dripping onto the ground. Ok, Guess he did want to hurt me. Great.

I backed up hoping I could get to my truck, even though it wouldn't do me any good. Sam would be able to outrun my old truck and turn it over before I got very far.

I was so close to the driver's side door now, but Sam's jaw was even closer. He snarled rather loudly, opening his mouth as though ready to take a bite out of me. I lifted my arms up to cover my face, not really wanting to see the death blow coming.

"Think of Jake, Sam. Think about what killing me will do to Jake. How it would hurt him to loose me." I didn't expect anything I said to work, and so I waited for the sharp sting of his teeth. Only they never came. Instead I heard whining.

When I lowered my arms and looked down I saw Sam, curled up at my feet, his paws covering his muzzle. Slowly, I sat down beside him and wrapped my arms the best I could around his neck. He trembled a little as I buried my face deep in his fur.

"Shh now, just rest." I gasped as he twisted around until he was cradling me in-between his front legs. My arms were still around his neck, but now his head rested on top of my stomach. I ran one hand through his fur and stroked slowly and softly. He needed comfort, someone not to tell him that it would be ok or that it would get better. Just someone to care and say they would be there.

I didn't watch the time, at the moment I really didn't care. His warmth was relaxing, and soon I felt my eyes slipping shut.

(Sam's POV)

"_She's gone, she's dead, never coming back, I'm alone, She's gone, she's dead, never coming back…"_ The thought just kept running through my head, never slowing, never stopping. I'm not sure how long it had been, a day, weeks, months. A year could have passed by and I wouldn't have known.

I refused to phase back, the pain in my human body would be too much I knew. Much better to remain an animal and die.

I rested in a pile of Emily's clothes, their scent already fading away in the wind. I didn't know what I would do once I could no longer smell her.

I paid no attention at first to the sound of a truck pulling into the drive. It most likely would have been one of the pack, they had been trying over and over to get me to phase. Telling me everything would be alright, but what the fuck do they know? Those that had imprinted still have their women, and those that hadn't could not possibly understand this ache inside. The sheer intensity of the pain that having half of your being ripped away.

The click of the truck door caused my ear to twitch, but it was the smell that caught my attention. It wasn't a wolf. The scent was sweet like flowers, but it had been mixed with the faint smell of bleach and wolf. At first I didn't recognize the girl, a result of the madness I could feel taking over my mind. I was sure I would have attacked my own mother had she shown up.

I advanced on her, ready to snap her in half for even thinking about trespassing here. It was her words though, the mention of Jake that brought me back. The girl before me was Bella Swan; friend, ally. I knew that even though Jake had never imprinted on her that her death would send him in the same madness as I. I could never be the cause of such pain to one of my brothers.

I curled up at her feet, whining like a pathetic little puppy, trying to get her to understand that I was sorry. I was completely shocked when she wrapped herself around me. It shouldn't have really, the girl hung out with vampires on almost a daily basis. Hell, she regularly took her own life into her hands by kissing one of them. I found her small arms a comfort and wanted more, even though I knew I shouldn't have. I tried not to crush her as I moved in a better position. Twisting both myself and her so she was cradled between my legs.

Her voice was soft as she spoke. Inwardly I smiled, she wasn't handing me platitudes like the pack did. No unmeant reassurances that all would be fine. Just quiet words of comfort. For the first time since Emily was taken away from me I fell asleep and actually rested.

(Bella's POV)

"Oh Fuck! Bella!" Jake's voice, panicked and harsh, penetrated my sleep fogged mind. I scrunched up my brows, not exactly sure why he sounded so upset. Surely he wasn't mad at me for taking a bit of a nap while I waited for him.

As I opened my eyes, trying simultaneously to sit up, everything came back to me with the force of an out of control semi-truck. I was currently curled up between Sam's front paws, his head still resting on my stomach. I was sure this was going to be anything but good.

I turned to see Jake, Paul and Embry standing only a few feet away from us. I realized it was dark out and figured I had to have been asleep for several hours. The exact time I wasn't sure. It was nine o' clock at least.

"Don't worry Bella, we'll get you out of there and safe again." Jake took a step before I could say anything. A harsh growl came from Sam, creating a weird feeling as it vibrated through my body. I looked to see that Sam was not only awake, but his eyes were trained right on the wolves before of us. From the look that passed over his face, the lifting of his lips to expose his teeth, I figured he was anything but happy to see his pack mates.

"Don't come any closer Jake!" I knew if he took even a step closer Sam would most likely attack. I wasn't sure if Sam was just so far gone that he couldn't recognize his own brothers, or what. I tried to quickly calm Sam down, stroking behind his ears and down his neck. Anything I thought to pacify the huge black wolf cradling me. Though no matter what I did he just wouldn't stop growling at the others.

"Bella…can you just wiggle out of there? I'll distract him so you can move." I rolled my eyes and continued my efforts to sooth Sam before someone ended up getting hurt. As I was pretty sure it would end up being me, the weak little human.

"Um, Jake man, I don't think this is what it looks like." Paul placed a hand on Jake's shoulder, trying to get him to back off. It didn't work. Of course it didn't work! My life never was that simple.

"What? I'm not blind Paul! Sam has Bella fucking trapped!" As Jake continued to fume over what he thought was happening, Embry was looking at me, or more correctly my hands, with a curious expression on his face.

"Paul's right Jake. It's ok, Sam isn't harming me. I was the one that came here. I was just trying to comfort him. At the moment though, you are anything but helping." I buried my face once again in Sam's fur, whispering nonsense in the hope that I could calm him down. It was futile, I knew that. I had to try though. He did at least calm down, even if it was just a little, and nuzzled against me. Sadly he continued to growl at Jake.

"Are you crazy? Embry told you what happened and what he was like, how could you put yourself in this kind of danger?' I knew he was just scared for me, but that sounded a little too close to what Edward would say. I almost expected him to call me stupid and naïve.

"He needs someone right now, someone to hold onto. I owe him so much, and I just wanted to help." I stopped moving my hands and Sam carefully nudged me letting me know he wasn't ready for me to stop. I had to stop the small smile that threatened to spread across my lips. Besides the growling, he reminded me a lot of a little puppy.

"Jake, she's right. I mean look, she is the first he has let near him. He doesn't look like he's going to hurt her. In fact he kind of looks like he's protecting her." The three looked at Sam and I, Paul and Embry seemed to relax as they both realized that I was helping. Jake on the other hand was still upset. I knew that if he believed that it wouldn't be a danger to me, he would have just walked over and pulled me away from Sam.

"Fine, I'm happy that you were able to help, but Bella it is almost ten and you need to get home. Charlie called wondering where you were. Scared the shit out of me when no one seemed to know what happened to you.

"At least after Embry told me about what happened between you and Seth, I had the thought to check here. Not that I actually thought you would be this reckless." Shit, it was never good when Charlie started worrying. That was all we needed, Charlie coming out here to find Sam in his wolf form. It would most likely give him a heart attack. That or he would try to kill Sam. Yeah, that would turn out just perfect!

"Ok, just one moment." I removed my arms from around Sam and tried to move his head from my stomach.

"Come on Sam, I have to get home. I'll come back tomorrow if you'd like." I finally managed to push his head off me and got up. I hadn't moved two steps when I felt one of his paws push me back down. I landed hard back against the ground, but soon found myself surrounded by jet black fur. He was once again wrapped around me. Lovely.

"Um, ok I guess he wants me to stay. Jake will you tell my dad, well just something?" Paul grabbed Jake's shoulder again as he noticed his new Alpha shaking. Yeah, this would have to top my stupid list.

"Bella you can't really be thinking about staying here?" It wasn't like I had a choice. Sam was growling at them once again, like he was just daring them to try and take me.

"Don't worry so much Jake. It'll be ok, Sam is not going to hurt me. I do think though, that he might try and hurt you if you come any closer, any of you. Just go home, call Charlie and get some sleep. I'll be fine. I promise" He took another step and Sam snapped at them. I held in the shriek I wanted to let loose, as I could feel the hot breath of the wolf brush over me.

"Jake! Really, just go!" Jake was shaking so bad now I was sure he was about to phase. Both Paul and Embry grabbed his arms, pulling him away. I was sure he would be back at some point. Even if he didn't stay close, he would be watching all night long to make sure that Sam never hurt me.

As soon as they were gone Sam calmed completely down and snuggled back up to me. I wasn't sure what to do, but at I was guessing that I was helping at least some. I curled up against him again and allowed myself to fall back to sleep. I knew I would be safe with Sam there.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	4. Your Heart Was On Its Own

**Chapter Three: Your Heart Was On Its Own**

(Sam's POV)

Bella's warm body snuggled up even closer to me as the night wore on. She was just so small normally, but against my wolf form she was like a child. The air was getting quite chilly and I was sure she was rather cold. I tucked her the best I could between my front paws, carefully setting my head down to cover her. I may not be able to do much at the moment, but I could at least block her from the freezing wind.

I couldn't tell you what it was that had come over me when Jake and the others had showed up. All I knew at that moment was that they were planning on taking Bella away from me and I couldn't let them do that. Ever since she came and cuddled against my side hours ago I have felt somewhat at piece. I knew I would never fully heal, but at least while Bella was there I didn't feel the pain as bad.

I knew I couldn't keep her for much longer. She would most likely leave when the morning light came. Just the thought of it caused my wolf to panic and let out a long and low growl. Bella stirred a bit in my arms at the sound, and I forced myself to be quiet. I didn't want her leaving any quicker than she had to.

I took a deep breath in and tried very hard not to allow my hackles to raise. The scent of another wolf was on the wind. Jacob. Did he really believe I would hurt her, that I would allow any kind of hard to her? I couldn't even imagine myself touching a hair on her head.

Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the other scent in the air and just go to sleep. At least for tonight I would be able to rest.

(Bella's POV)

I snuggled deeper into my pillow only to realize that what was under my head was far from my pillow, or any pillow at all. It was hot, furry and moving. I opened my eyes to the sight of a huge body covered in jet black fur. Sam.

He had me once again trapped under his head. I tried to wiggle myself from beneath him, only to be pushed back with a low growl.

"Easy Sam, I'm not leaving. I just need to go to the bathroom." He didn't move for a moment, but soon he lifted his head to allow me up. I looked towards the house and bit my lip. He may have been fine with me cuddling against him all night, but I wasn't so sure what he would do if I was to enter Emily's house.

"Um, Sam? I really don't want to go out in the woods, are you going to snap at me if I go inside? I mean if you are, I'm just going to have to get in my truck and leave to go to Jake's." His head moved in a nod and he stood up to nudge me towards the house.

Figuring he was ok with it, I entered the house. Once I finished I took a moment to look around. When Sam had forced his way inside he had done a lot of damage. Pictures and various items that had once hung on the walls were on the floor, smashed.

Bits of the wall and many doors had been busted off, everything was covered in mud. I shivered when I realized that there were even bits of dried blood smeared along the walls. I was sure that was not Sam's.

I made my way slowly out of the house, only to end up bumping right into the huge frame of Sam. I waited for him to move out of the way, but he simply remained. When I looked up I noticed that he was not looking at me, but staring at something behind me in the house.

I carefully reached up to slide one hand on each side of his face, slowly working his muzzle down so he was made to look at me instead. I pressed my face on his head between his eyes and just held him there. I was not sure how long we remained that way, but we were interrupted a coughing behind Sam.

When I looked to the side I could just make out Jake and what I thought was Paul, but he was mostly behind Sam and all the boys tended to look the same from the neck down.

"Are you ok, Bella?" Jake looked tired, I was sure that my earlier thought was most likely right. He had spent the night somewhere close so he could keep an eye on us. I doubt he got a wink of sleep.

"I'm fine Jake, Sam on the other hand is not. He's lost a great deal and I would be very happy if everyone would stop treating him like he is one second away from eating me." I could hear a laugh from the other boy, yep that was Paul.

"Find that funny, Pauly Boy?" His laughter cut off for a moment before he walked around so I could actually see him.

"First off, call me that again and I'll show you what us wolves can do…" He didn't get anything more out, because Sam had turned and pinned Paul to the ground. I watched horrified as Sam snarled above his wolf brother, drool dripping down to splatter Paul's face. Paul looked too shocked and surprisingly had not phased.

"I think you better take that back. Sam, come on it's ok, he was just playing with me." Paul wiped a bit of the drool off of his face.

"Yeah man, I wouldn't hurt Bella. Don't worry, ok?" Slowly Sam stepped away from Paul and back in front of me as though to shield me.

"Bella, I think it is time you headed home. I know you want to help Sam, it's just he's kind of unstable right now. I mean he almost tore Paul apart!" I know he had a good point. At least it all looked that way. Under normal circumstances Sam would not have lost it, but he was hurting right now. Personally, I think he had a good reason to be a bit snappy.

Sam backed up and pushed me a bit inside the doorway to the house. It didn't take a genius to realize he wasn't planning on letting me go any time soon.

"Yeah well I can write you a very long list of people that have tried or want to tear Paul apart. As for me leaving, well I was thinking I might stay here, with Sam for awhile." Though I couldn't actually see Jake, I was sure his mouth was hanging open right about now.

"Oh please tell me you're kidding Bella." Sam growled lowly and I knew I had to get them to agree with me sooner rather than later.

"No, Jake I'm not. For some reason Sam wants me here, and right now he needs help. If I can offer that I plan on doing it. It's the least I can do for him. I know you don't like this, but I know he won't hurt me." There was silence for a moment before I heard Jake huff loudly.

"Fine, fine, ok so you will stay here. Can I ask how long, I mean I need to know so I can figure out what to saw to Charlie." Shit, Charlie. Things would be so much easier if he knew about the pack, and so much more dangerous as well.

"As long as Sam needs me, I will be staying. Just tell Charlie that a friend of mine is going through a hard time and I am helping them out for awhile. He won't question you about that." Sam's tail swished by me a couple of times and I swear that it was actually a wag.

"Sure, sure. Ok, well is there anything you need?" Jake sounded so awkward. I know he was upset, but he was trying so hard not to push me about leaving. Bless him, I really wished I could kiss him right now.

"If you could pack me a bag and bring me something to eat that would be nice." I could hear as both Jake and Paul stepped off the porch.

"Yeah, of course. We will be back in a bit. Just, be careful Bella." I knew the moment that they had left as Sam had finally calmed down. I could see his hackles lower and the stiffness leave his legs and shoulders.

"You know Sam, if I'm going to be staying here with you, you are going to have to calm it down a little. That means no snapping at your brothers. Jake was just sacred for me, but don't worry I'm not going anywhere. I will stay as long as you need me. You understand?" Sam turned around and sat right in front of me. He pressed his nose above my heart before pressing his entire head against my chest. I figured that meant that he did, indeed understand.

(Sam's POV)

Maybe I was being selfish. I was sure that what I was doing was wrong. I had no right to keep Bella away from her family and friends, but I found that I couldn't let her leave. The wolf side of me had taken over for the most part, and it recognized comfort in this girl.

When Jacob and Paul finally returned with clothing and food I had not allowed them anywhere near Bella, afraid that they might try to run off with her. I wasn't sure why I felt so strongly about this. Why it was this girl I had chosen to rely on. Only that now that I had her I would be damned if I allowed anyone to take her away.

Author's Note: A few points I want to make. I know some of you are upset about Leah, know that I actually adore Leah and her snapping in this was not a character bash. It was just needed for the storyline to work. And about Sue, I never said that she was alright about the death of her daughter, only that she told Seth that there was nothing she could do and she knew that. Believe me Sue right now pretty much hates Sam, Jake and Jared for all their parts in Leah's death.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	5. In Pieces

Chapter Four: In Pieces;

(Bella's POV)

One week. That is how long it had been since I agreed to stay with Sam. One full week and nothing has seemed to have changed. Nothing of significance at least. I had managed to get Sam to move onto the porch when we went to sleep each night, but everything else remained the same.

I still slept cuddled up between his two front legs, his head placed just so, so the cold night air was blocked. Sam, sadly still growls at Jake as well as any of the others whenever they bring food by. Most of all though, he was still a wolf.

I have tried several times to coax him back human, but he just shakes his head before walking away for a few hours whenever I try. When he comes back, he always forces me to sit on the ground so he could wrap himself around me. I hadn't realized how cuddly Sam was.

This was just one occasion where Sam had taken off after I argued; one sided admittedly; that he should phase back. I was currently standing in the kitchen fixing myself something for lunch.

From experience I knew Sam would be gone for hours still, and the rest of the pack were not due until later. So I was reasonably frightened when two large arms circled around my waist and pulled me against them.

(Sam's POV)

My paws flung mud and leaves up onto my fur, matting it even further. I was pacing, back and forth just inside the tree line beyond the house. Bella had once again brought up the idea of having me phase back. I could say that I was just stubborn, but I'll admit I'm just too scared. The pain was somehow dulled in the wild state. I could give into the wolf and be blissfully unaware for a short amount of time.

I knew that once I phased back human that my heart would be in so much pain I was sure to black out. Call me a coward if you wish, but I dare you to find me one person on the planet that could and would willingly deal with that type pain.

I stopped and turned towards the house. I could hear Bella as she worked in the kitchen. I was not sure why I had found myself clinging to her, but clinging to her I was. I was momentarily calmed as she hummed softly while cooking.

Since she came to me I have found out so many things about this young woman. Quirks and things that I dare would call cute. All of these calm me and my wolf. I was not fixed, far from it. But at least I could find peace when around her.

I picked up on her sigh and it caused my stomach to clench. She had been so wonderful, and I knew I was letting her down when I continued to refuse to phase. My feet started towards the house before I knew what was happening. I stepped up to the door and just stared at it. If I took this next step, there would be no going back.

I felt my fur receding into my body, the mud and grime still clinging to my skin. I could feel the ache begin in my chest and soon crawl through my body. I couldn't breath, couldn't see. I was sure I would die from this. I took a step into the house and instead of being hit with Emily's soft baby powder scent I picked up on the sweet floral of Bella.

My lungs took in as much of it as they could as my feet led me to the small form in the kitchen. I didn't stop to think about what she would think or do, I just wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my body.

I pressed my nose into her hair and just breathed. I ignored the rapid beating of her heart, the slight jump she made when I touched her and just held her. The pain was still there, but it was dulled.

"S-sam?" I felt her head turn and heard the gasp that left her lips as she realized that it was me. I loosened my hold on her just enough to allow her to turn completely around, but quickly pressed her back against me.

"Oh my God Sam! You phased back! I'm so glad, not that you weren't nice as a wolf, but I do prefer dealing with humans." I didn't say anything for a moment and just let her calming presence soothe me. She squirmed a moment and I could feel heat raising up into her face.

"Um, Sam….please tell me you put some shorts on or something." I pulled back enough to look down at her, she in turn looked down and quickly back up and away from my face.

"Ok, guess that is a no. Well then, Sam could you let me go? You stink and need a bath…and to put some clothes on." When I didn't speak or move she started to push against my chest.

"Sam! Damnit!" I just pulled her back into my chest. I knew she was uncomfortable and probably very embarrassed, I doubt she had ever been that close to a naked man before.

"I don't want to be alone. Don't make me be alone, not again." It was like I wasn't in control of my voice. I never would have thought myself to say something like that, and yet I had. She looked up at me then with tears in her eyes.

"I won't leave you Sam, I promise. You won't ever have to be alone again. Now, you need to take a bath." I shook my head and bent over to bury my face in her neck the best I could.

"I don't want to be alone." She was silent before I heard her breathe out softly.

"Fine, will you take a bath if I'm in the room with you?" I nodded and stepped back from her holding my hand out.

"Great, well come on then."

(Bella's POV)

This was not what I signed up for. Even though this was uncomfortable, it was also heart wrenching. Sam seemed so much like a child. A scared, lost little child.

He was lying back in the tub at the moment, just staring up at the ceiling. When I handed him the washrag he made a haphazard effort to wash himself. In the end I had to take over. Every couple of minutes he would look over at me and make me promise that I wouldn't leave him.

I wanted to cry at the look in his eyes, but kept check of myself. He didn't need me a sobbing mess.

"Ok, all done. I need you to stand up now and dry yourself off." He did as I said and thankfully he took the towel. I held out my hand for him to step out of the tub and then handed him a pair of shorts. He pulled them up and followed me back downstairs into the front room where he promptly pulled me back into his arms.

We said nothing as we stood there. I noticed that he needed contact with me and so didn't try to push him away. Unfortunately that was the moment both Jake and Embry decided to visit.

"What the hell? Sam man, what is going on?" I could hear the tension in his voice, but thankfully he was keeping it to himself. We really didn't need Sam getting angry right then. Mostly with me in his arms.

"Sam phased back a little while ago." Jake took a step towards us, but Sam growled. Even though he was once again human, the sound was no less intimidating.

"I see that, but why is he holding you like that?" Sam buried his head in my hair and I felt him speak more than heard it.

"I don't want to be alone." I sighed and looked over to Jake. He just wore a confused expression.

"He still isn't all there. That is just about all he can say right now. He is scared I think, not that I blame him. And right now for some reason I calm him. Look at him Jake, does he look like he is whole?" I hated saying these things in front of Sam, but I knew he wouldn't let me go so I could talk to Jake in private.

Jake luckily relaxed as he looked his former Alpha over. It was plain to see that Sam was not the same man.

"What do you plan to do? Charlie sent me a message to give to you, he wants you home tonight." Great, just great. I knew that Sam would not be alright on his own, and I had made a promise to him that I wouldn't leave him. I was not about to break that.

"Embry, could you pack me a bag of Sam's clothes? And Jake? Call Charlie and tell him to expect a guest." This was not going to be fun.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	6. AllTheKing's Horses AndAllThe King'sMen

Chapter Five: All The King's Horses And All The King's Men;

(Bella's POV)

"Ok, could you please run everything by me again? Why is there a half naked man on my couch, why is he planning on staying here? And why does he look like….well insane actually?" I sighed and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose. That would not have made anything easier with Charlie. Most likely it would have only pissed him off even more than he already was at the moment.

I knew that this was not going to go easy, but having to repeat everything over as though explaining things to child was giving me a headache.

"His name is Sam Uley, and you know who he is already so would you please just call him Sam? Now, you remember Emily right? His girlfriend? Well Emily and Leah, you know as in Clearwater, were in a car accident a few weeks ago and both of them died.

"Turns out that Emily and him had just found out that she was pregnant, and the death of the woman he loves and his unborn child has sort of broken him. You think he looks bad now you should have seen him last week. He was such a mess." Charlie nodded in thought as he looked back out to the front room where Sam was sitting on the couch just staring at the wall. He really did look broken. I knew Charlie had heard about the death of his late friend's daughter. Hell all of Forks had heard, but no one really knew all the details, and from what I was able to gather from Jake, Sue isn't talking to anyone at the moment.

"So, this was the friend you have been helping and staying with for a week? The friend you have been staying alone with?" There was an edge to Charlie's voice. I knew he would jump to conclusions, fathers always seemed to. Fathers that were also cops even more so. Sometimes I am very glad that I didn't grow up with Charlie, I would hate to have seen him when I had first entered my teens.

"Dad, take a good look at Sam. Does he look like he is in any shape to try anything with me? He just lost the woman he was madly in love with and their unborn child, I doubt he is going to try and jump me.

"Sam is a friend, a good friend and he needs help. Apparently I'm the only one he has opened up with at all. Right now he's afraid to be alone, and I don't blame him. You wanted me home, so I had to bring him with me." I still hated talking about Sam when he could hear us, it seemed rude, but I doubted that in his state he even understood what we said.

"Fine. He can sleep on the couch." He looked back at Sam and sighed.

"Are you sure it wouldn't be better to just admit him? He looks like he needs professional help." Sam's head snapped up and he started growling at Charlie. Oh, that was just what I needed. I left Charlie standing there looking completely confused, and sat down beside Sam.

I threaded the fingers of one hand through his hair and used the other to turn his face towards mine. When I spoke, I spoke in a whisper so only he would be able to hear me.

"Don't worry Sam, I won't let anyone take you away from me. It's ok, calm down now." He laid his head down on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist, growing silent again. When I looked up at Charlie he looked really freaked. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

"I'm just going to go and head on down to Billy's. I think we need to talk, you sure you will be alright?" I nodded and continued to stroke Sam's hair. Charlie hesitated a moment before he turned and left. That had gone a little better than I had thought it would. Charlie didn't pull his gun out once. Yet.

(Sam's POV)

I had thought after I first phased that I was a prisoner in my own body. How wrong that had been. At least I had control over what I did or said.

I felt like an outsider to my own life now. I was watching, but it was not me that was in control. I could hear and understand everything around me, but I couldn't seem to react. It scared me in a way nothing else did. I was afraid that I would end up hurting Bella. Or her father. If Bella hadn't stepped in to calm me down when Charlie suggested admitting me to a hospital, I was sure I would have attacked him.

The wolf had made Bella our rock, and only she was able to calm me down. I feared both hurting her and having her taken away from me.

I listened as Charlie pulled out of the driveway and burrowed my face deeper into Bella's shoulder. She just made soft nonsense sounds and rocked me like a baby. She was right, I was broken. I've been busted to pieces and then tossed around everywhere. I was sure no one would ever find every piece, or be able to put me back together. I was freaking Humpty Dumpty.

All the King's horses and all the King's men could never put me back together again.

(Charlie's POV)

Being a cop, I have seen several disturbing things in my years. Though not one thing bothered me as much as what I had just seen.

The last time I had seen Sam Uley, he had been a strong young man, a great role-model for the boys of La Push. The man that was currently on my couch wrapped up in my daughter's arms was not even a shadow of that once great man. He was like a child, one that had already seen far too many things.

I pulled up outside of Billy's just as Jake was coming out. There was another great young man. Bella and everyone thought that I was ignorant of the things going on around me. Maybe I don't know all of the details, but I did know enough to understand what was going on between him and my daughter. I didn't approve of course. A girl dating two men at once, that was not proper. But I knew what she was doing. I just hoped in the end Jacob was the young man to own her heart fully.

"Hello Chief Swan." Jake looked tired, I knew he ran around with Sam. I had also seen him about with Leah as well. I was sure the two girls' death was hard on him as well.

"Hey Jake. Your old man around?" He shook his head before running his hand through his hair to send it all in disarray again.

"No, he is down at the Clearwater's. I'm sure you already know what happened to her daughter. Well, Sue and Seth haven't been doing very well, and Dad went to keep them company. What did you need?" Jake seemed so different lately. More grown up. It was good to see him becoming a great man, but it was sad to see such burden in his eyes.

"I just wanted to ask him about Sam. Bella brought him home, and well…" The pain in Jake's eyes was almost hard to look at.

"I don't think he will ever be himself again. Emily's death really tore him apart." I understood Sam a little bit. I loved a woman that much once. At least when she left me I could be comforted by the fact that she was still alive. I'm not sure what I would have done had she died instead, worse taking my daughter with her. I doubt I would've survived it.

"Do you think he is safe? I mean, I'm not trying to be heartless, but he's staying at my house, and will be alone with my daughter a lot. I don't want Bella put in any danger."

"I wouldn't worry Charlie, Bella seems to know how to handle him. So far she's the only one that can. After Emily died he wouldn't let anyone near him, just went almost catatonic at times. When Bella went to him, he allowed her around him and everything. I doubt he would hurt her." I looked past Jake to the house and debated waiting to talk to Billy, but I pretty much knew that he would agree with his son. Jake would never allow Sam around Bella if he thought he would hurt her. He loved her too much.

"I noticed. It's just strange. Before I left I asked Bella if it wouldn't be better to admit him, Sam started growling at me, but the moment Bella sat down beside him and touched him he curled up on her like a little child. It was hard to watch." We were both silent for a moment. Soon Jake looked behind him and back to look at me.

"I'm sorry Charlie, I have to go….I've taken over Sam's duties with the tribe since everything happened, and I have an appointment I'm close to being late for. I will talk to you later. If you see anything strange or have problems with Sam just give me a call." With that he turned and ran off. I walked back to my cruiser and headed home. I was not looking forward to seeing that broken look in Sam's eyes again.

(Bella's POV)

After Charlie came home I made dinner and I had at least been able to coax Sam in to sitting at the table. Just like when I gave him a bath, he just held his fork, but wouldn't use it to eat. I ended up having to feed him like a baby. It was heartbreaking.

When it came time for bed I waited downstairs with Sam until Charlie had fallen asleep. I fixed up the couch and after helping Sam to brush his teeth and into a pair of sweatpants I tucked him in. He had looked at me with such fear I thought I was going to crumple right there.

I was at the moment lying in bed just staring at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep, I was cold and I was worried about Sam. I heard the bedroom door creek open, but didn't have to look to know who it was.

Sam's large body slid under the blankets beside me, his arms curling around me to fit me right against him. He held me tightly and shook, though I knew it had nothing to do with phasing.

"You know that if Charlie sees you in bed with me, he will insist that you leave?" He held me even tighter and tucked his head in the crook of my shoulder. His hot breath tickled against my skin, but I just ignored it.

"I don't want to be alone. Never alone, never again." I sighed knowing there was no way I could get him to leave. Whether we slept in my room or on the couch I would have to be with him. At least my bed was larger. Not by much, but larger nonetheless.

I turned slightly and wrapped my arms around Sam holding him to me as the first few tears slid from his eyes. Hopefully I would wake up before Charlie.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	7. Learning To Find Your Way In Darkness

Chapter Six: Learning To Find Your Way In Darkness;

(Bella's POV)

I woke up to find myself alone. There was a moment of panic, where images of Charlie walking in on us and pulling his gun on Sam just to have Sam go wolf on him, ran through my mind. As I began to fully awaken I had to laugh at myself. It wasn't silly to think that, it could easily happen knowing both my father and Sam, but there was no way I could have slept through it.

I slipped out of bed and quickly got ready for the day. When I got downstairs and entered the kitchen it was to a scene that left me momentarily speechless. Sam was sitting at the table, his hands lying lifeless in his lap, a blank expression on his face. The only emotion anyone could see was the one of absolute sorrow and pain that shimmered from his eyes.

Though it was not Sam that made me stop in my tracks, it was Charlie. The kitchen looked like it had been hit by a tornado, a sure sign that my dad had tried to cook. On the table I could see a plate piled high with scrabbled eggs and burned bacon, more than enough for a wolf. Charlie was sitting beside Sam with a towel in one hand and a fork in the other.

I watched through tear filled eyes as Charlie fed the broken man his breakfast, every now and then having to use the towel in order to wipe up bits of egg that slipped from Sam's mouth. After a couple of minutes Charlie looked up at me over Sam's shoulder.

"When I got up he was just sitting on the couch staring at nothing. I had thought to just leave him alone, but he followed me in here so I figured he must have been hungry. I sat the plate down, but he didn't…I remembered last night and…well…" I nodded to him not needing him to explain further. I sat down on the opposite side of Sam and took the fork and towel from Charlie.

"I'll finish up here." Charlie smiled and stood. He raised his hand for a moment and it looked like he was going to pat Sam's shoulder, but after a moment he pulled his arm back and stuffed his hand in his pocket and left without another word.

I finished feeding Sam and cleaned up the room before making myself something to eat. With no eggs left in the house I settled on a simple bowl of cereal. When I sat back down I noticed the blank expression on Sam's face was gone, replaced with a soft look of innocence. Something that seemed almost wrong on an adult's face, and yet fit this broken man.

"He doesn't know, I can stay. Never alone…" He trailed off and I held back a few more tears at his words. They almost sounded like a question. I reached over and set my hand on his that had remained in his lap.

"No, never alone. Not again Sam, I promise." He smiled at me, but it didn't reach his eyes. They still held such sadness.

The day went pretty much as it had the day before. Charlie had gone to visit Sue. He had grown quite close to her since Harry's death, I'm sure she would be glad to have him around. Sam sat most of the time on the couch in the front room.

I had tried to find something to occupy him, he would turn away if I turned on the TV and hide his head between his hands if I played music. In the end I simply worked to finish my chores as quickly as I could, and sat beside him once everything was done.

It was four in the afternoon now, Charlie had called to say he was staying at Sues for dinner, and I had been sitting on this couch for three hours just holding Sam. I had expected Jake to show up, or at least one of the pack in order to check up on us. What I hadn't been expecting, but truthfully I should have, was for Edward to show up.

The front door was quickly thrown open allowing Edward to dash into the room. He stood there just staring as Sam edged out of my arms and crouched ready to spring at the confused vampire. Edward looked back and forth between the two of us.

"What is wrong with him? His mind…it's a jumble of random thoughts." Sam started to growl and I was sure that the wolf didn't recognize that it was a Cullen before him. I tried to stand up in order to calm Sam down only to be pushed back on the couch by said wolf as he crouched even lower in a protective stance in front of me.

"Like I would hurt her Sam, you know that." Edward's eyes flickered back to mine. I sighed knowing this was not going to be fun.

"Leah killed Emily, Sam's mate…" I didn't get more out as Sam started to whimper at my words and I watched amazed as Edward fell to his knees, his hands on his head. I could only guess what thoughts Sam had to be thinking to cause the look of pain on Edward's face.

I jumped up and smoothed my hands down Sam's back, whispering softly that I was there and he wasn't alone. I saw from the corner of my eyes as Edward stood up, I could see the expression on his face. It was one I knew well. He was about speak when Sam turned around and pulled me into his arms before turning back to glare down at Edward.

"You will not take her away. She promised." Edward just looked confused.

"I have never seen anything like this before, his mind is split. I can hear him, his rational thoughts are there, but they are being clouded over by a consent string of phrases. He just keeps saying over and over, 'never alone.'" I sighed inwardly at the knowledge that even though Sam seemed to have lost his mind he was still in there. Even if he was buried deep. It gave me hope that I could somehow reach him.

"I made a promise to him that he wouldn't ever be alone again. I'm taking care of him, he won't allow anyone else to do it." I could see his thoughts swirling in his mind. I knew Edward was not going to like or understand this. He hated me being around any of the wolves, not just Jake.

(Sam's POV)

Somewhere in my mind I knew who it was standing in front of me. I knew I couldn't hurt him, not only because of the treaty, but also because it would hurt Bella. The problem was that that part of my mind was not in control of my body. The part that was, only saw a leech, a danger to us and the girl that cared for us. All it could acknowledge was that this vampire could take Bella away and we would be alone again.

I couldn't seem to stop the growling, though I did take in everything this leech had to say.

"You can't be serious Bella? He could be dangerous, he is out of his mind!" I sent the leech images of Bella and I together, trying desperately to tell him I would never hurt her. I would protect her with my life and no one was going to take her away from me.

He looked away from her, to me and I could see some smug glint in his eyes.

"Just because you think you have control doesn't mean you might not slip. That is all it will take. Besides this, this house is part of Cullen territory." The part of my mind that controlled my actions was growling and practically snarling at this leech that dared to take my last bit of comfort away. The part that was still aware strained against the fog of instinct in order to speak. Even if it was only by thought.

"_That only applies to the Pack. I am no longer pack, no longer wolf. Human again." _That rational part of my brain once again retreated, though it remained always listening.

"I will believe that when I see it. You're acting more like a wolf than human, how do you expect to stop phasing when you can't even stop growling long enough to speak?" I knew he had a point, even if I hated to admit it. Though I also knew somehow I could do it. I pulled all energy I could and pushed the fog aside and stopped growling and snarling.

"Bella, she promised….Human again with her help. Could never hurt her." I felt Bella stiffen beside me before she stood straighter with her chin out ready to defy this leech.

"Stop it Edward. I am getting really tired of having to go through this. Surely you can accept that I am helping a friend in need, Jake has. If he can be comfortable with it why can't you?" The two were silent for a moment, just staring at each other. The vampire finally took a couple steps away.

"Black is a fool, but then again I guess I am as well. Don't think that I'll just walk away, as long as he is here I _will_ be around. We will talk later Bella, _alone_." I growled a little as he approached her, he glared but turned to leave when she asked him to. A few minutes after he left Bella turned to me and placed a hand on my chest.

"Are you really going to stop phasing?" I held her hand to me and raised my other hand to run a finger down her cheek.

"Yes…help me, please? Don't want to be alone, what to be human." I saw tears run down her cheeks and I caught one on the tip of my finger.

"Of course Sam, I promised didn't I?" She laid her head on my chest and I held her to me. I had lost one whole half of myself, but maybe this young woman could help me at least keep a hold of what I had left.

Author's Note: I know Sam seems really out of it right now, it is not that he has actually gone crazy. It is more that one; his mind is trying to protect himself and two; he is fighting with his wolf for control. His wolf just wants him to remain phased and just go wild so he could forget and the pain will go away.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	8. Continuing On

Chapter Seven: Continuing On;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

What had happened to the once great Alpha? Where had his strength gone, his will to live? I knew the answers, but I still wondered at how a man that had once been a strong leader could end up so weak and lost. In the days that followed Edward's visit nothing had changed much. Neither him nor Jake showed up again, though I was sure that wouldn't last long.

Charlie did end up catching Sam asleep in my bed. I had woken one morning last week to the sound of Charlie mumbling incoherently from where he stood propped up against my doorframe. His face was quite a bit past red, he had actually achieved a deep purple by that point. I knew if I didn't do something soon he would pull his gun out. It had taken awhile, lots of coffee and a few hours of talking, but eventually Charlie understood. Well as much as a father could when faced with his daughter sharing a bed with an emotionally disturbed man. I had gone out afterwards to pick up some groceries and when I returned it was to find our front room converted into a bedroom. Complete with my bed and rocker. Turns out Charlie wasn't as understanding as I had thought.

And so here we were, two weeks after moving Sam into my house. I was currently making lunch while Sam was stood at the back door. He was faced towards the woods, just staring. I couldn't really see his face, but the way he stood told me enough.

He had told me he wanted to stop phasing, I have asked him several more times and the answer is the same. Even so I know he misses it already. The wolf had become such a huge part of the boys, it was now simply another side of who they were.

"He is fighting." I turned from the stove where I had been making several grilled cheeses and focused on Sam. He normally didn't say too much without prompting, so I was rather shocked.

"Who is fighting, Sam?" He didn't turn around, just set one hand on the doorframe and leaned his forehead on the screen.

"My wolf. He's strong." I turned off the stove and set aside the sandwiches before going to stand beside him. I ran my hand up and down his back, a move I had found helped to calm him.

"What is he fighting?" He was quiet, so I stood closer so I could slip one arm around him and gently grab his chin. I know he could have resisted me, but he allowed me to turn his face towards mine.

"Please, tell me Sam. What is he fighting?" He turned fully and leaned against the doorframe, his eyes closing in an expression of true pain.

"Me, you, everything. He wants death. Mate is gone, no reason to live." A few tears slid from his eyes and I reached up to wipe them away.

"Is that what you want?" His eyes opened and he looked down at me, he looked so heartbroken I was having trouble keeping my own tears at bay.

"No, Emily is gone, but I want to live. Want to forget." I pulled my hand from his cheek and wound them around his waist as I leaned against his chest. I held him tightly as I spoke, knowing if I looked in his eyes I would loose the battle and end up crying.

"You don't want to forget Sam, you love Emily still. But I'm glad you want to live. You're strong, stronger than your wolf. And I'm here to help you, I promise I will always be here to help you." His arms wrapped around mine and held me tightly.

* * *

(Sam's POV)

As I held Bella to me I knew she was right. I really didn't want to forget, not Emily or the love I have for her. To forget would mean to loose the memories, all the happy moments. I couldn't live without those. But what I said about my wolf was true.

He, the same as I, looked to Bella for comfort. But that is it, he had no will to live without his mate. If I would let him, he would have had us phase and slowly die of hunger and heartbreak. There is a part of me, my human side, that wants to die as well. A part that sees no life without Emily, but I know that I can't. I have to win this fight, maybe once I have stopped phasing and my wolf as vanished the pain will lessen. Maybe I can live a normal life, the one I was denied.

I was scared though that I was too weak, Bella might believe different, but she doesn't know just how strong the wolf really was. Everyday was a struggle. If it were not for Bella and Charlie I wouldn't ever eat. I'm weak, and so I cling even tighter to Bella hoping she will be the strength I need to continue.

I knew that if she failed, I would eventually die.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I lifted my can of beer to my mouth, but set it back down before I could take a drink. I just couldn't get the images of Sam out of my head. I had never seen anyone so broken, he even rivaled the way Bella was after Edward left her that time. She had at least been there, but when you looked into Sam's eyes, they were so blank.

I heard Billy wheel back up beside me and take his beer from the table. He took a few drinks before turning towards me. He had refrained from asking me all day, but I knew he had questions.

"I know this all seems strange, but I want to thank you on behalf of the tribe for allowing Sam to stay with you and Bella. Jake has told me that she is the only one he has allowed around him." He was silent for a moment and took a couple more drinks.

"He is important, not just to the tribe, but also to those boys. They won't say it, but this is hurting them. It upset Jake and some of the older boys when Sam wouldn't allow them to help, I mean he is like a big brother to them. What I'm trying to say is that what Bella is doing, it's important. We lost Emily and Leah, no one wants to loose Sam too." I looked down at the beer in my hands and set it down on the table. I really didn't feel like drinking anymore.

"I understand that, it's just…Billy this is more than just strange. You know I caught him sleeping in Bella's bed with her last week? Just about gave me a heat attack, I know logically that he wouldn't take advantage of her…." I ran my hand through my hair, tugging slightly. Not enough to cause pain, but enough to help me get my thoughts in order.

"It's the father thing, I mean how would you feel if you had walked in on Rachel or Rebecca with some guy in their bed with them, even if he was as broken as Sam?" He nodded a moment and drank down the last of his beer.

"I know Charlie, believe me I know." I could hear Jake and one of the boys out front talking, that boy had taken on way too many responsibilities since Sam went…well insane I guess was as good a word as any. He was still so young.

I looked out the window to notice several of the boys were standing around Jake, Paul, Embry and Seth. Seth was another boy I was worried about. I had gone over to Sue's just about every other day. The way both Sue and Seth would react when I mentioned Sam was odd. As was the way Seth was looking at Jake. I had only ever seen that boy smile at everyone, he was truly a kind spirit. He rarely disliked someone. But he was at the moment throwing Jake one of the nastiest looks I had ever seen.

Billy interrupted my thoughts as he popped the top off of another beer.

"How is Sam? Jake has been too busy with tribal work to visit Bella, and I was wondering…" I turned away from the window and sat back down.

"I don't know really. I mean he hasn't really changed. He still won't eat on his own, Bella has to feed him like a toddler. She brushes his teeth for him, and while I really don't want to think about it, I think she is bathing him too. I'm just glad that it seems he can take a piss on his own. I'm not sure what I would do if I walked in on _that_." Billy gave me a sympathetic look. I was sure had I ever walked in on something like that I would end up in the hospital with a heart attack.

"He hasn't been getting angry or anything though, has he?" I raised an eye brow at Billy. Sue had asked the same thing, though her question had sounded more angry, where Billy sounded worried.

"No, well not really anyway. If I mention taking him to a hospital or making him leave he will get upset. He has actually growled at me a couple of times, but he always just ends up mumbling about not being alone. I've even heard him say something about some promise Bella made him, and something about being human or something.

"I know it seems like Bella is helping him, but Billy I think he needs to be in a hospital. He isn't all there, he will say things that make no sense." Before Billy could answer, the front door flew open as Jake and Embry entered the house.

Jake had a strange look on his face when he came in. Almost shock mixed with worry.

"What sort of things does he say Charlie? What about being human?" I looked down at Billy only after Jake and Embry took their seats. This really was not what I expected him to focus on, I mean, I did just suggest having Sam committed.

"Um, I don't know. Some things about wolves and leeches. I figured he must have been watching Animal Planet or something. And he just keeps saying things about being human again. I don't pay attention too much. I know you don't want to hear it, but Sam is crazy." Billy looked thoughtful for a moment, and when I looked over to the boys they looked upset.

"Sam's not crazy, I know you don't believe me Charlie, but he isn't. Right now the best thing for him is to be with Bella. You might not realize it, but I think she is helping him even if it doesn't seem like it. We can't commit him, it would end up killing him.

"If it bothers you too much to have him at your house, we will move him here, but I warn you I am sure Bella will come with him." The authority in Billy's voice shocked me. Sure we have argued before, but he had never spoken to me the way he was at the moment. Not even when it came to his feelings towards the Cullens, and trying to get Bella to dump Edward. I knew I was not talking to my friend at the moment, but an Elder of the tribe. This wasn't a request, he was giving an order. I either dealt with the uncomfortable feelings with Sam, or they were going to bring both him and my daughter here to live.

Though I didn't appreciate being spoken too as such, I did understand. Sam was a member of their tribe, an important member. It was not my place to decide what should be done with him, and even though Bella was my daughter she was also an adult, and I already knew that if they took him back to the Rez that she would follow.

"Fine, he can stay at my house, even though I think you're wrong. I'm not trying to be a bastard, Billy. I like Sam, and I just want to see him get better. I just think that Bella, who is barely an adult, is not going to be able to heal him. But if you think that is best, fine.

"Now, it is getting late. Goodnight Billy, boys." I nodded and let myself out. I wanted to believe the same as them, that Sam wasn't as bad as I knew he was, but I just couldn't.

* * *

(Billy's POV)

I watched as Charlie stomped out of the house, just about slamming the door behind him. I knew I had pissed him off, I was sure had it been the other way around I would have acted the same. But Sam was apart of my tribe, almost a son to me as all the pack boys were.

Jake cleared his throat and stood to pace a couple of times, Embry just sat on the couch. His eyes wide and mouth hanging open slightly.

"I'm guessing it was too much to hope that Sam wouldn't talk about the pack and vampires. At least though Charlie didn't think anything about it, though Bella did get it somewhere, so I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't figure things out sooner or later." That was true, though Bella had an advantage that Charlie didn't. The Cullen boy hadn't covered it up all that well, I still believed he did it hoping that she would figure it out. That leech was a coward if I had ever seen one.

"What I want to know is, what Sam meant by being human." I was sure Jake understood perfectly what he had meant, but was too scared to admit it. Though he hadn't said anything to me I knew my son, as soon as Sam showed signs of healing with Bella's help he had begun to hope that eventually Sam would be fixed and retake his position as Alpha. Jake had never wanted it in the first place, and since Bella had been giving him a real chance to win her heart, he had more than ever wanted to stop phasing. He had already told me that if she chose him in the end he was going to leave the pack so him and Bella could have a normal life together.

"He doesn't plan on returning to the pack. Don't deny that you figured that one out. I can't say that I didn't see this one coming, I was just waiting really." Jake stopped in his tracks and I could see him visibly slump.

"Why? Why would he stop?" Even though Jake was in love with Bella, he hadn't imprinted. He didn't understand the bond between an imprinted couple. He may have seen it through Sam, Jared and them, but he couldn't understand like they could.

"My best guess, is to get rid of the pain. There have been theories about phasing and the imprint. Though none of them have been proven, some believe that an imprint could possibly be broken if a wolf stopped phasing. If he completely gave up that part of himself that the magic of the imprint would no longer have a hold on him.

"Other believe that once the imprint happens that it goes beyond mere magic, and that the bond would remain strong till death, whether or not the wolf stopped phasing. Who knows, so little is actually known about imprinting. I mean before this pack it was believed to be rare, that is one that has been disproved." Our legends always seemed to focus mostly on the phasing and leeches aspect of all this, none of them ever really talked about imprinting. Though with this pack we are quickly learning and documenting. At least it will be easier on future packs.

"He…he can't just quit! I understand…" I slammed my beer can down on the table knowing it would be the only way to stop my son from ranting. This was where I wished most of all to be able to use my legs.

"Do you really? Can you actually tell me you truly understand what it is like to loose your soul mate? And don't say anything about Bella. I know you love her, but the fact that you never imprinted on her is enough to prove that she is not your soul mate. If you were to loose her, yes it would hurt you, but I doubt you would go insane like Sam has.

"You would eventually heal and move on. You would still love her of course, but you could go on and love again. Sam lost his soul mate and unborn child, he lost half of himself. And not only that, but he had to see it. Then to make it even worse her murderer was Leah, a woman that despite the imprint he still loved as well. And to top it off, he killed that woman. Can you honestly tell me that he still has his mind after that?" Jake hung his head as did Embry. He was a good man, he just was scared.

"I'm surprised that he's still alive, but I am glad he is. If Bella can help him and if that means he also will stop phasing I think he has the most right out of all you boys. He has suffered enough, it's time that he be allowed what little comfort he can get. If that is remaining human than so be it.

"I know you don't want the position as Alpha, but you were born to it. Sometimes we have to put aside what we want, this is your time. Now if you two would help me, I would like to call a meeting. I think the rest of the pack and the Council should know what is going on." They both nodded. I understood that Jacob didn't want this, and believe me if I could phase right now and take his place for him I would. In a heartbeat. Sadly things don't always work out. Had they, none of the boys would have ever phased, Sam would have been married to Leah and had a baby by now. The Cullens would have never returned, and Bella would have fallen in love with Jake in the first place. But none of that happened and we all must learn to live with it and continue. That was all we could do now, continue on.

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	9. Proud

Chapter Eight: Proud;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Ever since Charlie returned from Billy's that day a month ago, he has been almost distant. He had yet to talk to Billy and he only made a sort of grunting noise whenever Jake came over to check on us. He still helped out with Sam in the mornings if I have yet to wake, though for the past week it has been unnecessary.

Sam had been getting better, or at least he had been fighting hard against his wolf. He actually had started to eat mostly on his own, though I still have to help him bathe. I was so proud the day he had reached out and took the fork from my hand to shovel the eggs into his mouth on his own. I had to bite my lip just to keep from crying.

Jake had been by just about every other day. At first we got into a fight over Sam, turns out that Charlie unknowingly informed him and Billy about Sam's decision to stop phasing. Sam had of course overheard and rushed into the kitchen where we were, and stood between us growling at Jake. It took a week before the two were comfortable enough after that. Sam would even greet him whenever he came over.

Edward on the other hand had made a nuisance of himself. I love him, I really do, but I'm getting tired of him stopping by when I have told him time and again that his presence bothers Sam. Edward just says that as he was…one of…my boyfriends that he had a right to be over. He was right, to a degree at least. Mostly since Sam couldn't deal with me being away from him.

We had tried. Edward had invited me over to his house, Esme was going to cook for me. It had been a long time since I had been able to go on a date with him, or Jake for that matter, that I had agreed. Sam had just sat down in my now practically empty bedroom and just glared at the wall while I got ready.

I had to pry his hand off of my wrist just to get out of the house. Charlie had called not a half hour later informing me that Sam had basically thrown a tantrum, and to get my ass home and take care of him. When I opened the front door I had noticed the floor had been strewn with papers and clothing. I walked into the front room slash bedroom to find Sam curled up on the bed trying to control his shakes and the room a complete mess where he had thrown whatever he could get his hands on. Charlie had been furious. In the end I decided that until Sam was better I would not be going on any dates. This had angered both Edward and Jake, though Jake wasn't as upset simply because Sam now was fine with him being there with them. All of this at least helped to endear Charlie to Sam a bit more as he found it funny that he hated Edward.

Jake had just left, he tended to spend his free time here watching movies with Sam and I. It was strange how things had turned out. I looked down at Sam, who was at the moment curled up on the bed fast asleep. He looked both sane and innocent at the moment. Maybe not really peaceful, but more relaxed than when he was awake.

I reached down and ran a had through his hair, it had gotten much longer and whenever I suggested cutting it he would back away. Not that I minded, I much preferred the boys with long hair. He turned a bit and opened his eyes. He still looked so lost, but I could start to see a bit of the old Sam in there.

"Jake leave?" Even though he could stand being in the same room, it didn't mean he really wanted him there.

"Yeah, just a few minutes ago. Are you ready to eat or do you want to sleep a bit more?" Before I knew what was happening, Sam had pulled me down in his arms and settled me there.

"I'm tired, fighting him is hard." I turned a bit on my side and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and continued to play with his hair.

"I know, but you're doing really good. I'm so proud of you Sam. So very proud." He smiled weakly and rested his head on my chest as was his wont to do. I leaned down and without really thinking about it, pressed a kiss to his forehead.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I had never been really fond of Edward Cullen, there was just something about him that bothered me. I knew he came from a good family, his father was one of the best men I knew. His family had money, they were all well behaved. Any father should have been jumping for joy at their daughter landing such a boy. But as I said there was just something about him that rubbed me the wrong way.

Jake on the other hand had been like a son to me for years. I had known him since he was born, and I must admit even then I had hoped him and Bella would grow up and end up together. Maybe it was the thought of actually being family with Billy. I'm not sure, but I knew Jake was a good boy and would love and care for my daughter as she deserved.

I can't tell you what went through my mind when my daughter told me that she was in love with two men. I think I stood there staring like an idiot for a good ten minutes. But in the end I pretty much figured that she would chose one. You could image my shock to find out she planned on dating both. It had only strengthened my desire to shoot Edward and created a whole new desire to do the same to Jake.

Though I'm not sure the shock of that could compare to the one that came from what I had just witnessed. I had greeted Jake with a smile and nod of my head as he left, while I was just coming home. I entered the house and looked into the front room first before planning on heading upstairs.

I had watched as Bella tenderly stroked Sam's hair. As he woke and they whispered to each other. I wish I could have heard what they were saying for the next second he had pulled her down into his arms and snuggled against her chest. Then the bit that left me standing there with my mouth hanging open was when she had bent down and kissed the top of his head.

I was sure she was not in love with him as well, I wasn't that blind to my daughter. But her eyes and actions did hold a certain affection for the man. I had seen her care for him before, but I had never seen her act like she had just done. The way they had seemed to become codependent on each other was a little bothersome.

Sam couldn't seem to sleep unless she was near and if she left the house for any length of time he went ballistic. The time she had went on a date I came very close to calling the hospital, if it hadn't been for Billy's words that echoed in my head I would have picked up that phone. But I knew Billy's threat had been real. He wouldn't have only taken Sam back to the rez with him, but also Bella. And as I looked on as the two held on to each other I understood why.

What I was still having problems with was how this all could have happened. And why Bella, why my daughter?

* * *

(Sam's POV)

Proud…she was proud of me. I was a grown man, so why did that one word from her lips matter so much to me? I knew it shouldn't, yet it did. She was proud of me. I smiled against her collarbone and held her just a bit tighter to me.

It was so much easier fighting my wolf when she was around. I found out the hard way what happens when she would leave me, my wolf was not just agitated he was livid. It had taken all my control not to phase right there in the front room. I was sure had she not gotten home when she had I would have failed, and it scares the hell out of me because I knew Charlie was there. It frightened me that I could have hurt him.

I didn't know how long it was going to take until I was finally rid of my wolf, and when I was what I would do. I knew I would have to give Bella up then. She had her own life to live. She had her…boyfriends…and she would want to get a good job, maybe go to college. The problem was, at the moment I couldn't see ever letting her go.

I wondered, when the time came, would I be able to give her up without a fight?

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	10. A Small Victory, A Long Battle

Chapter Nine: A Small Victory, A Long Battle;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I sighed as I shut the fridge door. When I had brought Sam home I had forgotten to take into account that even just one wolf could out eat a room full of teenaged boys. Our grocery bill anymore was huge. I pulled open the freezer door and let out another sigh.

Since it became apparent that I could not leave the house while Sam was with us, Charlie has been kind enough to do all the shopping. Sadly he was at work and there was nothing in the house to eat. Unless of course you considered two year old frozen fish and a busted open package of Jell-o edible.

I looked into the front room where Sam was currently sprawled out on the bed, his eyes locked on the tv. A small smile lifted the corners of my lips as I noticed his eyes were slightly more focused than they had once been.

Sam had actually managed to take a shower on his own this morning, something I was not only proud of, but also grateful. I might not be embarrassed about seeing a man nude, I mean I couldn't count how many times I had seen any one of the pack phase back, but it still made me a little uncomfortable. Mostly considering that it entailed a bit more than just looking.

The sound of my stomach growling brought me out of my thoughts. We needed food, and soon. Well there was nothing for it, I would have to go shopping and Sam would just have to go with me. I walked into the front room and grabbed the bag that held his clothes. He at least did have a few shirts and a couple pairs of shoes.

Sam looked at me with a strange expression on his face, but he still allowed me to dress him. Once done I grabbed my keys and his hand and started to pull him towards the door. Of course things up till that point were going to smoothly, I should have expected that it wouldn't continue.

Before I had been able to open the front door Sam had pulled me back into his chest. I looked up at him to see his eyes wide in fear. He shook his head and tried to back into the front room again.

"Sam, stop. There is nothing in the house to eat and I'm hungry. Charlie forgot to go shopping yesterday, so we have to today. Now, you have two choices. You can stay here, alone. Or you can show me a bit of that courage I know is in there and come with me." His head was slowly shaking constantly now.

"You are going to have to get out of the house at some point. You want to be able to be human again, to continue to live out a normal life, right? Well you can't do that if you sit all day long in my house." His head slowed and he looked behind me at the door and then back at me.

"Too many people, what if I can't fight him? I don't want to…" I held up my hand and set it on his mouth to quiet him.

"You can fight him, you have been so good so far. Plus I'll be with you every step of the way, I won't leave you." As I said this too him I realized that there was a double meaning behind my words, and I found I actually meant them. I wouldn't leave him as long as he needed me, I would be with him through all of this. Through the pain, the struggling. Through his tears and wounds, and there as he slowly healed.

"Ok." And that was that. He allowed me to lead him to my truck and remained quiet as we drove to the store. Of course I should have realized that entering anywhere in Forks with an almost seven foot tall La Push native, one that was not Jake, was going to cause problems.

Sam stayed close beside me as we pushed the cart up and down the aisles, sometimes he would even grab something off a shelf and toss it in the basket. He would give me an innocent look when I would raise an eyebrow, not that I really cared. I was happy that he was actually participating instead of just following.

We came across our first problem when we reached dairy. Jessica, who else would it have been, was standing at the milk trying to decide between whole and one percent. I hadn't really thought on what people's reactions were going to be, so I hadn't thought to avoid anyone I knew.

I had told Sam to grab me two gallons of whole milk while I grabbed a few dozen eggs. The sound of Jessica's nauseating voice was the first indication that things were going to go down hill, and fast.

"Bella?" I turned from the cooler, several egg cartons balanced perilously in my arms, and faced the woman. She was as always done up, not that there was anything wrong with it, not at least when one knew how to apply makeup. But Jessica always seemed to be on the line of over doing it. I swear there were times where she looked like she had fallen face first into her makeup box.

"Hello, Jessica. How are you?" Though I held no ill will towards the girl, I knew enough of her character to know she was nowhere near a real friend. She was too self-centered, and held grudges way too long. Most of the time over the stupidest of things.

She smiled at me and was about to speak when I felt the cartons in my arms start to slip. Before I could even yell or the eggs could smash all over the floor, they were saved by two huge russet arms. Sam grabbed each of the cartons and set them in the cart beside the milk he had just placed in there, and it seemed a half gallon of chocolate milk.

Jessica's eyes went wide as she looked him from top to bottom, and I groaned inwardly as her teeth clamped onto her bottom lip. Every girl knew what that look meant, and Sam did not need this right now.

"And who is this? I haven't seen him around." Though she spoke to me she didn't take her eyes off of Sam. He seemed ignorant of the attention, that or he was actually really good at hiding it.

"This is Sam Uley, he is a friend of Jake's. He is um….staying with us for awhile." I knew the moment that she got the completely wrong impression as one brow rose and her flirty smile turned into a lurid smirk.

"Oh really? Interesting. I thought you were still with Edward, or was it Jake? I can never seem to keep track of your guys." Bitch. Sometimes I wished I were a more horrid person, if I were she would be flat on her back screaming in pain after I busted her nose.

"I am, um Sam is just going through a bit of a rough patch right now, and Charlie has offered him a place to stay until everything is worked out." There, that was vague on both points. I had hoped she would leave it at that, thankfully it seemed she was going to. Her smile widened at something behind me, I thought of course she was eyeing Sam again.

"Alright, well I have to be going. Bye….Bye Sam." I took a moment after she left to calm myself and turned around. Shit. Guess she hadn't been smiling at Sam, no instead just at the end of the aisle stood Lauren. And of course Jessica was headed straight for her.

I turned back to Sam, grabbed his hand and hurried to the next aisle. I had hoped to finish before we were stopped by anyone else. Things never go as hoped. Lauren caught up with us at the checkout, her smile was almost as evil as the one I had once seen on Victoria. It sent shivers down my spine. God help the world if this woman was ever turned.

"So Bella, a little birdie told me that you have shacked up with a third man. I didn't realize what a slut you were." Um…Kettle…Pot! Like she anything to say as one of her hands were resting upon her swollen belly, and it was common knowledge that this girl was the town bike.

"I'm not even going to reply to that, you're going to believe what you want. Now, if you don't mind we would like to get home." I handed the cashier the money due and tried to head back outside. Lauren of course was not done, unfortunately for her Sam seemed just as impatient with her as I was.

When Lauren went to grab my arm Sam stepped between us, his teeth barred and of course he was growling. I held in a giggle as Lauren's eyes grew wide and she stepped back. Her hands went straight to her stomach. I noticed Sam as he watched this, and I knew I would have to get him home soon.

His eyes were focused on the swell of her belly and I could see tears as they filled his eyes. Lauren, thank God, was too scared to see his reaction and slowly backed away until she turned and practically ran away. I grabbed Sam's arm and we slowly made our way to my truck.

It was quiet as we loaded the bags into the bed and got in the cab. I had just put my keys in the ignition when Sam curled up on himself, his arms clutching at his head. I held back my own tears as he sobbed. He was breathing heavily and soon his groans turned into deep screams. I realized then he wasn't going to just snap out of it.

I flung my seatbelt off and wrapped myself around his body as best as I could. Just as the first time I had come across him that day outside his house, and murmured quietly. I rocked him back and forth until he eventually let go of his head and held me too him instead. I wasn't sure how long we sat there, but thankfully he did calm and stopped screaming.

When he sat back his eyes were bright red, his cheeks completely wet. I grabbed a few napkins that I had stuffed in my glove box and wiped at his cheeks and nose till he looked as presentable as he was going to get.

"I'm sorry." His voice was quiet, soft, almost like he was reluctant to speak at all.

"Don't be. There is nothing at all for you to be sorry over, not one damn thing." I ran my hand through his hair and smiled at him hoping to at least see a bit of that smile I knew was hidden on his face. I didn't see it.

"I almost lost control, I could have….if I hadn't…" Of course he would think of that as well. I put both of my hands on his cheeks and turned his face to look directly at mine.

"You wouldn't have lost control completely. You would have been able to stop on your own, I know it. And as for getting angry in the first place, I don't want you worrying about that either. I was barely able to keep from hitting her myself. She's never liked me, and the feeling is mutual.

"Now, let's get home. I don't know about you, but if I don't eat soon I'm going to pass out." He gave me a very weak smile, I still counted that as a small victory.

* * *

By the time I had finished making dinner, after a small snack of course, Charlie had finally returned home. He slumped down in the chair across from Sam at the table. He looked tired, and I knew it had nothing to do with his work.

"This is ridiculous, Dad. Just call Billy will you? You have been moping around here ever since you got into that argument with him." Charlie looked up from his plate, two egg noodles hanging halfway out of his mouth. Sometimes I really missed having female company around.

"I'm not going to call him, not after…" I grabbed his plate from him and set it in the sink after dumping his food in the trash. If I hadn't been so annoyed at him I would have laughed at his expression. This was something I had never done before, at least not with him. I guess dealing with the pack had crossed over into all parts of my life.

"What are you doing? I wasn't done with that." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and continued to stare at me like I was crazy.

"I'll make you another plate, but I want you to promise me that you will call Billy as soon as you are done eating and stop acting like a five year old. What could have been so bad that you would stop talking to the man you have always called your brother?" He stiffened a little and glanced over at Sam, who had his head down and was shoveling his food into his mouth.

"He…he threatened to take you away." I knew my eyebrows had to have disappeared they shot up so fast.

"Dad, how…that is ridiculous. Besides the fact that I'm an adult, how would he even begin to take me away. For that matter, why would he threaten that?" Charlie looked a bit uncomfortable and his eyes once again slid over to Sam. The pieces started to fall into place. Though I didn't know what all had been said, I had a feeling I knew now what it was about.

"I mentioned to him about committing Sam, he got angry and said if I tried he was going to bring Sam back to La Push and you would be coming with him. He may be my brother, but I will not tolerate him talking to me like that. Or attempting to forcefully move you." I pinched the bridge of my nose, this wasn't going to go easy.

"It wouldn't be forcing me, and I don't think that was a threat. That was just the truth. If you tried to commit Sam I would be with Billy on this one. And yes, I would move to La Push. Though just because I would be living there doesn't mean that you would never see me again.

"You do realize that I will eventually move out on my own?" His cheeks flushed a little and he looked away from me.

"I figured you would…I don't know…." Good God I really was beginning to think I needed to get Charlie a girlfriend. I shivered at that thought, yeah I really don't want to go there.

"Dad, I know that none of this makes any sense to you. But I need you to trust me, at the moment Sam needs me. Only me." When Charlie turned to face me he was no longer just a little flushed, but down right red.

"I just don't like this! I don't like what I'm seeing between you two! It's not healthy. I went ahead and humored you with Jake and Edward, but this is too much to ask me. The way you two cling to each other is scary. I only want you to be happy, but this…..Bella this is not right." My eyes flicked over to Sam who was staring at my father with furrowed brows. He slowly stood from his chair and headed into the front room. Great, this was all that was needed after the day we already hand. I sighed and went to follow, but was stopped by Charlie's next words.

"It frightens me Bella. I know that all of this has hurt him, but it's not normal the way he is dealing with it. It's not just unhealthy the way you two have become, but it could be dangerous. I don't think he is mentally stable and it scares me what he could end up doing to you if that last shred of sanity he has slips. I don't want to loose you, and….I love you Bella." I leaned against the frame and looked into the front room to where Sam was once again on the bed, this time his eyes were once again completely blank. I turned back to my father.

"I love you too, but this is just something you can and never can understand. I wish you could, but you can't. And this is the way it has to be. I know you won't believe me, but this is a matter of life and death. Right now I'm the only thing keeping him alive, and if I have a chance to save him I'm going to take it with both hands and hold on.

"I'm not going to give up on him, I know if I did he would die. I won't let his blood be on my hands. Now, help yourself to what is left of dinner, I'm not hungry anymore." He remained silent as I entered the front room. I hadn't realized it until later, that with my doing so I was making a decision. Between my father and Sam.

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	11. My Baby Girl

Chapter Ten: My Baby Girl;

(Bella's POV)

I wish I could say that things had gotten better after that disaster of a dinner. That Charlie called Billy and the two had made up. That my father and I were talking, or that Sam continued to get better. But I couldn't. That dinner was two weeks ago and I haven't talked to Charlie since.

He would go to work and come home, without ever acknowledging our presence in the house. He never ate with us anymore. I had heard from Jake that he had been eating mostly at the diner. He also told me that the night after my argument with him, Charlie called Billy to tell him that he was no longer welcome in his house.

Sam had returned almost catatonic again. I was once again back to bathing him, feeding him and he was back to saying one word responses.

If all of this wasn't enough, life had decided to throw me a couple of curve balls. The first being Edward.

Tired of not being able to see me, he showed up one day with the decision made to just make himself at home. Of course he then got angry, and in that infuriatingly relaxed way of his, insulted Sam and admonished me for even thinking about sleeping in the same bed as the wolf. The thing that worried me was the fact that Sam never responded. Not even a snarl or a low growl. I was so scared that his wolf was winning the battle.

The second was when I got a call from my mother. Turns out that Charlie had called her after our fight. Renee had agreed with Charlie, which meant that I spent two hours on the phone unable to get a word in while she ranted at me that I was putting myself in danger and that Sam should be in a hospital. She then spent forty minutes of the call trying to convince me to move back with her. I finally had enough when she started accusing Sam of being a psychotic homicidal maniac that would end up raping me and cutting me up into tiny little pieces to bury in the yard. My mother could be a little over dramatic.

I then spent the next _three_ hours explaining to her; the best I could considering she couldn't know the whole truth; what was the matter with Sam and why I had to be the one to care for him. Though she didn't like it, and still wanted me to move back with her, she reluctantly admitted that it was sort of romantic in a screwed up kind of way. Only she would find this situation romantic. I kept my mouth shut on that subject.

The breaking point for me was this morning. Charlie had come home from a late night shift, even though I said hello and offered to make him something to eat, he just stared at me a moment and headed upstairs to take his shower and go to bed.

It was seven in the evening and I hadn't seen him since. When I looked around the kitchen and out into the front room I had come to a decision, Forks was the wrong place for Sam. He needed to be in his own house. It was time to try and help him move on, and that wasn't going to happen here.

I heard steps on the stairs and looked up to see Charlie just walking into the kitchen. He didn't smile, he didn't even acknowledge I was in the room. I can't describe the feeling of being totally ignored by your own father. I just wised he would understand this was something that I had to do.

Charlie went to the fridge grab a beer, popped the tab and sat down in the chair across from me. Once he had taken a couple of drinks he finally looked up at me. I couldn't believe that just two weeks could age someone so much, but he looked so old at that moment. Old and weary.

"I always knew you would end up leaving. Whether it was with Edward, Jacob or some other young guy. It was inevitable, and I knew and understood that. But I had always thought it would be different, I thought you would leave my house, not me." He took another drink of his beer.

"I'm not leaving you, he just needs me." He shook his head and hung it low overtop of his can.

"Yes you are. Little girls are always suppose to choose their daddy. But you're not my little girl anymore are you? Haven't been for sometime, if I had to guess, since your mother took you away. I know I don't express myself like other dads do. I'm awkward, I know.

"But I had hoped I have always let you know how important you are to me. That I love you. If I haven't then I'm sorry, but I think I'm not the only one to blame." I was silent as he threw back the rest of the beer and just sat there. What do you say when your father thinks you may not love him?

"I wish I had fought harder when you were a child. I wish so fucking much that I would have catered to your mother's every wish. We might have ended up hating each other, but maybe I would have gained you. You're my daughter, my baby girl and I have been scared shitless that I was going to loose you." Tears were now pooling in the corners of his eyes, I have never seen him cry in my life.

"I'm still your baby girl, daddy. You haven't lost me." I knew tears of my own were sliding down my cheeks, but I ignored them. All This was scared me.

"You chose him." I scrunched my brows and just stared at him, tears still falling.

"Sam, you chose Sam. When you said that you would leave with him you chose him. I have been blind really. Scared that I would loose you when I didn't have you. You will always chose someone else, won't you? I've never been number one in your life, fuck I don't think I've even been number ten." I slid off my chair and kneeled in front of him and hugged his legs, my head in his lap as I used to do when I was very small.

"I love you." I felt his hand slid down my hair and his breath hitch as he tried to stop the sob that I knew he was holding.

"I know, I never said you didn't." We sat there for a few minutes. Eventually I stood up and wiped my face. I could see Sam standing in the doorway, a pained expression on his face. Charlie turned to him and stood, I feared for a moment that he was going to do something, but he only ended up going to the fridge to get another beer.

I took a deep breath, I didn't want to hurt him even more, but he needed to know. This was something I was not going to change my mind on.

"I'm taking Sam back to La Push." The can of beer slammed down on the counter and the fridge door shut a little too hard. Charlie leaned against the counter, his hands on either side of his drink.

"I know. I was just wondering when you would figure out he needed to go back." I wasn't sure he understood me fully.

"I'm going to be staying." He stood up straight, popped the tab and took a huge drink before sitting back at the table.

"Again, I know. I told you, you chose him." He didn't say anymore, just sat and drank. I hesitated before going over to him, gave him a hug and started for the front room where Sam was now sitting on the edge of the bed. Charlie's voice stopped me momentarily.

"I do love you, and I want you to know that no matter how many times you choose someone else, no matter how many wrongs you make, this will always be your home. I will never turn you out, never chose anything or anyone else over you. I want you to remember, if things don't work out I'll be waiting." I didn't respond, the lump in my throat was too large. I nodded, though I knew he wasn't looking, and turned into the front room and right into Sam's arms.

I stayed there surrounded by his heat for a long while, it wasn't until I heard Charlie head back upstairs that I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes. Sam lifted a hand and slid it through my hair. The gesture was so sweet, so gentle that my breath caught in my chest.

"You alright?" I took a moment to calm myself and looked up at him with a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Come on, why don't we call it an early night? We have a busy day tomorrow." He gave me a weak smile and stood, his hand held out for mine. At least things were looking a little better, Sam was responding again.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

After I finished my beer I threw it in the trash and stood to return to my room. I stopped in the doorway to the front room. My heart actually hurt at what I saw. My little girl was wrapped up in the arms of that man. He was holding her as she shook, and I knew she was crying. I hated the fact that I made her cry, but she had to hear all of that.

I turned and headed up the stairs and straight into my room. I leaned on my dresser, both hands clenching the edge of the old wood. I kept my head bowed, not wanting to see myself in the mirror. Would you be able to see the way I have felt these past two weeks, old? Would you be able to see my worry and heartbreak in the lines on my face?

I lifted my head and stared into the eyes of a pitiful stranger. When had I turned into this old man? Had I not once been young, foolish as well? I knew she didn't understand, she was too young…too much like me.

I wanted to be able to go down there and force her to stay, to send Sam to a hospital and make sure he understood that he was to stay out of my daughter's life forever. But I also knew what that would do, I would loose her even more then I already have.

The stranger in the mirror stared out at me with sorrow in his bloodshot eyes. The lines around his eyes turned down, making him look so tired. His hair was thin and balding in spots, a small spattering of gray can be seen in the scruff on his chin.

His teeth were stained from years of coffee, and his lips were cracked. His skin was marked with the beginnings of age spots and wrinkles. Tiny scars littered his face and neck from near misses at work.

I sighed and turned to sit on the edge of my bed. When had I become this stranger, when did I grow up?

* * *

(Sam's POV)

The fight with my wolf had grown harder, he remembered Emily and our unborn child and he wanted to die. I just wanted him gone.

I turned over on the bed and looked down at the young girl beside me. I hated that my presence in her life was causing her so many problems. I hated that I had brought on this rift between her and her father. Charlie was a good man, more forgiving than most fathers.

If the situation had been reversed, and my daughter brought home an older man like myself, one that was out of his mind and practically suicidal. I knew I would have told him to leave. And had I found him in bed with my girl, I would have beaten him to within an inch of his life. But not Charlie. He allowed me into his home, helped to care for me. I was grateful for the man.

Even so, even though I hated myself for what I have caused, I wouldn't change it. Bella had become my rock in this world. I lived only because she remained at my side. She was right when she told her father I would die should she leave. I don't think I have enough sanity left in me to be able to hold on should she be taken from me.

I knew I would wither and die, and I know the guilt of that would hurt Bella. I wanted to be able to fix things for her and Charlie as they have tried with me, but I find myself too selfish to let her go. For some reason I don't want to die, and I don't want to be alone either. I should be sorry, but I can't make myself.

My hand trailed down her arm to clasp her small hand. It felt as though I were holding a child's hand. She was so fragile, and yet so strong. What other person on the planet could go through everything she has and still find the strength to hold together an insane werewolf?

I thanked God that for awhile at least she was mine.

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	12. Always And Forever

Chapter Eleven: Always And Forever;

(Bella's POV)

I stood holding Sam's hand as we just stared at the house in front of us. I knew it would still look as it had the day we left, so why I was surprised to see the front door still busted and the house still in quite a bit of disarray, I couldn't tell you.

By the time I had gotten up this morning Charlie had already headed out again. I was sure he didn't want to be there when I left. I couldn't decide how I felt about that, how I felt about any of this. I loved my father, I won't ever deny that. But I needed to help Sam, it had turned into more than just repayment for when he had saved me that day in the woods.

It was so much more now. I was his lifeline and I would be damned if I was going to allow him to die. I loved him in a way, nowhere near what I felt for either Jake or Edward. If a person could have two soul mates they would be mine. No, I didn't have those feelings for Sam, but they were more than that of a friend. He was more than a brother to me as well. I'm not sure how to describe any of this, it really didn't make any sense to me. All I knew was that for the time being, Sam was my first priority.

Sam took in a large breath beside me and let it out slowly. He had been quiet since I told him about the move, only ever asking me if I was alright. Somehow it felt strange for him to be worrying about me when he was in the state he was in.

"I can't feel her anymore." I shut my eyes to hinder my tears at the pain in his voice. I was sure his wolf was trying to push his way forward, to phase and howl at this final loss. I felt his hand slip from mine and I quickly snapped my eyes open, fearing that he would give in. Instead he moved slowly towards the house and then inside it.

I followed a few steps behind him, though I remained quiet. He moved through each and every room. His hands would slide along the walls or tables. Sometimes he would stop to pick something up and run his fingers over it. This went on until he finally reached the room he had shared with her.

At first he just stood in front of the door, not going in and not backing away. He just stood and stared inside. Finally he took a breath and went inside. He repeated what he had done to every other room. He gathered a small silky nightgown from the floor beside what I guessed had been Emily's side of the bed.

I watched, allowing my tears to flow unchecked down my cheeks, as he brought the small slip to his nose and breathed in deep. I had to cover my mouth so I didn't cry out as a whimper and howl came from his lips. I had never heard that sound come from a human before. It was mostly animal, pained and filled with a grief I was beginning to realize I could never experience. What he was going through was so much more than what I had felt when Edward left me.

He sat down at the edge of the bed, the gown held in his hands and his face buried in it as he cried and howled. I leaned against the door frame, hoping that it would hold me up as I had the urge to slide down to the ground and cry along with him.

"I can't feel her anymore….." His voice caused me to open my eyes. He had removed his face from the gown and had set it in his lap as he looked blankly ahead of him. His cheeks were wet from tears, his eyes bright red.

"Her scent is fading, it's all going away." He turned to look at me and I could see the hurt in his eyes as well as the need. I moved from where I was and came over to sit beside him. I grabbed a hold of the gown and gently pulled it out of his hands. He allowed me and continued to just look at me.

"Why, Bella? Why can't I feel her anymore?" If my heart wasn't already breaking for him it was now. I ran a hand down his face and cupped his cheek. He leaned into me and I pulled him into a hug using my other arm.

"Because she is gone. She is gone." His arms went around my waist to hold me tightly to him. It hurt to see him in this much pain, and I vowed I would do everything I could to make it easier on him.

"I promise I won't leave you Sam, you won't ever have to be alone. I will always be with you." He lowered his head and rested it in the crook of my neck.

"Promise? For always?" I ran a hand through his hair and down his back, over and over again.

"Promise, for always and forever."

* * *

(Jake's POV)

I stood outside of Sam's house, my hands resting on the hood of Bella's truck. I had found myself here just about every day. Emily had been a friend and a mother figure to all of the pack…well all but Leah. Even though none of us felt her loss like Sam and Seth did, we all still grieved and missed her greatly.

Every two days or so I would stop by the house, just to remember the young woman that always had a smile on her face and something on the table. She adored all the wolves and never hesitated to help anyone of us if needed.

Now I'm wishing that I had went ahead and had gone straight home after my patrol. Bella had called late last night to say that she was moving Sam back to the rez today, I figured it would be later in the day. Figured I could make my last visit to pay my respects to Emily before this became Sam's home once again, and not just the resting place for the woman's spirit.

Instead I arrived just in time to listen in on the woman I loved and my once Alpha. I knew she wanted to help Sam, I knew she felt the need to. After I realized that Sam was safe enough I didn't allow it to bother me. But how could I not be bothered by what I had just heard?

For always and forever. A phrase I had longed to hear from her lips, only to me and not him. Pain shot through my chest when I heard her, heard the words I wanted to hear when she chose me. I didn't understand why she would promise those things to him, not when I knew that she loved me. When she already had her heart split by two men. It made no sense. But I guess in my world things never seem to.

The house had gone quiet, and for a moment I thought about going inside to confront Bella. To assert my claim on her in front of Sam, but I knew how that would end. Sam was still a bit unstable, if I presented a challenge to him he might phase and hurt Bella.

Instead I backed away and headed towards home. If my cheeks were wet by the time I got there, I doubted anyone would have blamed me.

* * *

(Sam's POV)

I could still smell her, but it was so weak now. It was more a trace than the strong scent that had permeated the very air while she had been alive. I couldn't feel her around me anymore, this house was not her home. This was not the place where we shared everything together. This was just an empty shell. A crypt filled with cold memories.

I burrowed myself further into Bella, taking us both down atop the bed. She just pulled me into her arms and held me. I knew if not for her, if not for her arms around me I would have gone straight into the kitchen and slit my wrists.

She was my Savior, my guiding light, my rock in this world. I knew I should have pushed her away, mostly as I heard and smelled Jake outside. I knew he was listening in, and I knew what her words would do to him. But I couldn't find it in myself to care. She was mine now, she had promised me forever and I was too selfish to allow her to back out of it.

My hands slid up her side and clasped tightly around her ribs. I heard her gasp, but didn't remove myself from her. I wouldn't do anything to hurt her, not now and not ever. I wanted her to know that, I hoped she already did.

I closed my eyes as she began to hum and soon I felt as she reached out to grab the blanket at the end of the bed to pull over us. Maybe I should have removed us from the bed I had once shared with Emily. The bed that I had spent hours making love to her on, and hours just talking to her on.

As my breathing evened out a bit more I realized just how tired I already was, and promised myself that tomorrow I would move us into the guest room. For now I needed to sleep, needed to be able to forget for a few hours.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I knew she would be gone by the time I got home. I had planned it that way. I wouldn't return until after sundown when I knew she would have already left. Even so I felt my heart drop when I entered the house and could not hear her in the kitchen making dinner.

When I walked into the front room the bed had been made, but all of her and Sam's things were gone. Frantically I went from room to room, ending in her bed room. Everything that suggested that they had once lived here was gone. And while I was happy to see Sam's things gone, it sent a pain that I would liken to a bullet wound through my heart to see Bella's gone.

The room that had remained almost untouched since my wife had left me and took my little girl with her, now looked so empty. Not just because her bed was still in the front room, but because she had taken most of her stuff with her. Her walls were bare, all the pictures she had on them taken down. All her books were gone as well as every stitch of clothing she had.

I walked into the middle of the room and sat down on the floor. My eyes caught the rocking chair by the window. The one thing she had not taken away from me.

A small smile crossed my lips. I could see so clearly my favorite memory of my girl.

She had only been a few days old. Her mother was so tired from giving birth and then the late night feedings, I had told her just to stay in bed when Bella had started to cry. That I would bring her in if she needed to eat.

Bella had been so small when I looked down into her crib. A tiny, perfect little thing. By the time I had made it into her room she had quieted down to a whimper. I leaned down and used my finger to push one small curl away from her forehead. Her hair had been like silk to the touch, only rivaled in softness by her skin.

She had looked up at me and as soon as she had set sight on me she quieted completely. I picked her up and sat in the rocker by the window. I remembered it had been a rare clear night and you could see the moonlight as it filtered into the room.

It had shined down on her making her skin glow. I swore then that my beautiful wife had given birth to a fairy princess. No mere human could be so perfect.

I rocked her back and forth, humming badly some lullaby I could remember my own mother singing. All the while I used the finger on my free hand to trace her features. I wanted to remember everything about her, so even if I was to one day go blind I would have that image of her in my mind to keep me sane.

She had become my world, my little treasure I wanted to keep for myself and yet show the world. This little girl was a part me, I had helped create this wonderful child.

I remembered my thoughts on that night, I even murmured them out to her as she slept in my arms. I had told her how while I never wanted her to grow up, I also couldn't wait to meet all her future selves. That I couldn't wait to see what she would be like as a grown woman.

I had told her all my hopes for her. That I planned to make sure she had everything she had ever wanted in life. I would make sure she wanted for nothing. I had even told her what kind of man I thought she would marry.

How he would be handsome, smart, and rich, as she deserved no less. But above all, he would love her with everything he was and would be. That he would put her before himself, care for her and how I would be honored to give her away to that man on her wedding day.

I had spoken on and on about how one day she would have a little girl of her own, and how she would have the same hopes and fears I had for her. That one day she would be sitting in this very rocker with her child wrapped in her arms, the light of the moon shining down on them. Both of them loved by that one perfect man.

But the one thing I remembered telling her most was that her Daddy loved her, with everything that he was, is and will be. That he would never stop loving her, no matter what. That he may not always be able to express it in the way most people could, but to never doubt that she was now the most important person to him. That he would kill for her, he would die for her.

That she held his heart, and only she truly had the power to break him.

And here I am now, that broken man I had told her about so many years ago. None of my wishes and wants for her had ever come to fruition. She had been taken away from me and I had been unable to give her what she wanted and needed.

That perfect man didn't exist. I had thought once that Jacob would have been him, but even he had let me down when he had accepted Sam's role in her life.

How was I to go on? What was I suppose to do now that the most important thing in my world had left and I knew that she was not coming back? I hid my head in my hands and let out a scream. For the first time in a very long time I allowed myself to sob and sob, not caring if anyone heard me.

I had lost my little girl. She may still love me, but the damage was done. I cried for the loss of that little baby girl I had held, I cried for the loss of the woman I had wanted her to become.

I cried knowing that HE had her now. Jake and Edward may not know it yet, but she was lost to them as well. Lost to everyone but…._him._

* * *

A.N: Now I think I should clear some things up about this story cause I know some have been wondering about things. (Also sorry I have not really replied to reviews, I do though read every single one and I get excited when I check my mail in the morning and see all the alerts.)

Anyway, first off, no Sam will not be imprinting on Bella. That would be a little to easy an out for the story, and if you have ever read any of my other stories in any fandom you will know I don't take the easy out. This story is more than just a romance, while I like to write stories that are just or mainly romances you will find I also like to explore different themes. This story, while a romance yes, a dark romance, also is to explore the idea of, if it is possible to survive the death of an imprint, how it could be done and how would the wolf fare.

I know there are many things that may not go along with the books, but I had always planned to ignore certain things anyway.

Another thing I want to say, no Jake will not imprint either. Again, while when done right the use of imprinting can make a great story, in here it would be too easy of an out. One thing to always remember with my stories...I am not shy about writing the things that some might call gross; shit is always going to happen; there might very well be a death or two; and you might always want to have a tissue with you...hey I even cause myself to cry while I am writing.

Also I hope that no one is mad at Charlie anymore. I never meant anyone to hate him, he is just a father who loves his daughter very much and just wants to keep her safe. It is hard for a parent when their children grow up, mostly when they realize there is not a damn thing they can do about it. He is stuck and in pain because he can see the heartbreak and danger she is in even if he doesn't know about the wolves and vampires, and he knows he can't help her. He can't stop what is going to happen and it hurts him very much because he can't.

I hope that cleared up a few things, if you have any questions or I said something confusing go ahead and ask. I will try to reply back.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	13. These Choices You Ask Of Me

Chapter Twelve: These Choices You Ask Of Me;

(Bella's POV)

It is strange how the things you had once believed to the point where you would die for them, suddenly don't matter to you as much anymore. I had once thought that Edward was the most important thing in my life, then came Jake, and now as I look at the broken man sitting on the couch I wonder if I really ever knew anything at all.

I had once broken down when Edward left me, but slowly I had started to come out of it. I look back now on that point in time and know that not once was I ever as bad as he is now. Sam lost his other half, the most important person and thing on the planet to him. Everyday he struggles to live. When I lost Edward, who I thought was the most important person in my life, I was struggling to die.

My eyes slipped from Sam to the broken door. It had been set up against the wall, but no one had bothered to try to actually fix it. Not that anyone had bothered to do anything in here. Before we had moved to Charlie's I had been more concerned with getting Sam to phase back then I was about cleaning. Now though, I knew it would have to be done.

I walked over to Sam and extend my hand to him. His eyes focused and looked up at me. He didn't smile or frown, just stared at me with a blank face. I gave him a small smile and kneeled down a bit to grab his hand. He still didn't react more than just looking at me.

"Come on Sam, we have a lot to do today. If we are going to live here then we need to clean this place up." He pulled his hand out of mine and back in his lap. He hadn't spoken at all since after his breakdown yesterday when we arrived. I was afraid he was slipping right back to where he was before, and it scared me to death. I couldn't loose him, I couldn't let him die.

"Please Sam…" I stood there and waited a moment, when I realized he wasn't going to do anything I turned and headed back upstairs.

I was in the middle of scrubbing the hallway floor when he came up behind me with a tool box in hand. He didn't say anything as he started to fix the front door. For the next few hours we worked silently, cleaning and fixing the house.

When the sun had set, I finally set aside my bucket and rag and headed for the kitchen. There wasn't much left of the food from before, but at least a package of frozen hamburger had been stuffed in the back of the freezer.

I could feel his eyes on me as I worked to make dinner. Every now and then I would glance back to find him standing in the doorway just watching me. At one point while I was cooking he had come to stand beside me. I figured he would remain quiet as he had been, so when he spoke I visibly jumped.

"You move different then she did." It was the first thing he said since the day before when he made me promise to stay with him. It was far from what I had been expecting. I just looked up at him with a raised brow.

"She glided around like she was on ice, you almost dance when you cook. It's different." He almost looked confused as though he couldn't understand why this was. Myself, I was shocked a little to know he even paid me that much attention. Jake and Edward were the only two men I knew who did that. And to them I was clumsy.

"Um…thank you, I guess." I wasn't sure what one would say to that. Sam just nodded and went back to watching me. It sort of unnerved me, though not enough to ask him to leave.

Eventually I had produced something fairly edible and set the table. Sam seemed more aware during dinner, his eyes more focused and his movements sharper. He finished his plate long before I had, set it aside and looked right at me. For a moment I swore I was looking at the old Sam, the one that was not half missing.

"I want to move into the guestroom." It was the clearest thing he had said since this all happened.

"Ok, I'll get it ready as soon as I finish eating." He nodded and stood to take his plate into the kitchen. I sat there with my mouth hanging open. My earlier worries that he was reverting back faded as he washed his dish and went to sit in the front room. Maybe I could dare to hope.

* * *

(Jake's POV)

My eyes were glued to the tv in our front room, but my mind was so far away I wasn't really sure what we were watching. Billy was in his wheelchair on the other side of the couch, his attention on the tv, though I knew he probably wasn't paying attention either.

Ever since Charlie called to tell him their friendship was over he had been sulking. Those two were thicker then thieves, and back before Harry had died the three of them getting together spelled trouble. Now Harry was gone and Charlie and my dad wouldn't even talk to each other. I wanted to curse my ancestors, because I knew all these problems were caused by phasing.

Had Sam never phased he would have never imprinted and broke Leah's heart. Leah would have never gone crazy, and Bella would have never went to Sam. And that right there was the reason behind my anger at the moment.

I kept running through their conversation from yesterday. Over and over I heard her telling Sam that she would always be with him, always and forever. Words that had never been meant for him, words that I had dreamed would be said to me.

I knew he was going through so much right now, but I can't help the hate that I have for him. She was suppose to me mine, not his, not even Edward's, but mine. Running my hands through my hair in an effort to try to calm down I look over to find my dad watching me. A question in his eyes I knew I couldn't ignore.

"I'm worried about Bella. This whole thing with Sam is just wrong. Maybe Charlie was right and he should be in a hospital." That last bit I probably shouldn't have said as his face grew slightly red, thankfully he took a couple of breaths before speaking.

"Maybe, but it isn't possible. What do you think would happen when they take his temperature? Or the first time one of them angers him? I don't think anyone could ignore a man turning into a huge wolf. Besides, he has chosen Bella to help him, if we take her away he will die." I tried very hard to squash down that voice in the back of my head that was saying 'so what.' I really didn't want Sam dead, I just wanted him away from Bella.

"Oh come on Dad, she is just a girl. She can't do this on her own. I want to be able to believe that Sam can get through this, I really do. But have you seen him? He is a wreck, and completely unstable." He picked up the remote and clicked off the tv before replying.

"I know, but there's still a chance. As long as there is chance that he will live through this I'm not willing mess it up. Sam has chosen Bella, for what reason I couldn't tell you, but he has. The Council has talked this over and we believe that Bella is the best chance he has." Well wasn't that just great, though as Alpha I had power in the tribe, the Council could still overrule me if they thought my decision would hurt instead of help the tribe.

"He isn't even planning on phasing again. Why does the Council care so much, I mean what about Sue? I would have thought she would have been happy to see Sam go." Dad cringed and I was sure I wasn't that far off.

"Sue doesn't allow her personal problems to affect her duties on the Council. No she doesn't like Sam, or you and Jared for that matter, as all three of you had a hand in the death of her daughter. But she also knows that Leah broke a very important pack law and that you all had the right to enact justice.

"She knows, like the rest of us, that even if Sam never phases again he is important. If we can keep him alive we will do what needs to be done to make it so." Important? I took a few breaths myself so I wouldn't end up exploding at my father. I knew in this instance that what the Council had decided was final. Until Sam was well again Bella had to stay.

"What about Bella? What about what this all is doing to her?" Billy raised a brow at me in question.

"You haven't seen them together Dad, this isn't like some normal nurse/patient relationship. It's actually scary to watch them. He protects her like she is his, I understand with Edward. But he is that way even with me and Charlie.

"They sleep in the same fucking bed! And if that isn't enough, you want to know what I heard yesterday?" I slumped back into my chair, her words once again running through my head.

"She promised that she wouldn't leave him, and I do not mean until he was better. He made her promise to stay with him forever. Fucking forever. You can't seriously tell me any of this is normal?" My dad's eyes grew wide as I spoke, and I knew it had little at all to do with my cursing. He opened his mouth a little, closed it and opened it again. It would have been funny had we not been talking about something so important.

"Well, no I can't say that. I had no idea, but surely when Sam is better he won't hold her to that. He isn't all there right now, he needs the reassurance that she won't leave him like Emily did. Eventually when he is better everything will go back to normal." Normal? There was no such thing in my world, not since the day I blew up into a huge four legged fucking furball.

"What happens if he doesn't?" Billy actually looked confused.

"I mean, what if he doesn't get better completely and the only way for him to live is with Bella? Are you really going to ask Bella to give up her life just to care for Sam? Would you do that to her, to me and to Charlie?" I stood after that and left. I had patrol soon anyway. Hopefully my dad would realize just what he and the Council were really asking. The scary thing was I already had an idea who's side Bella would be on.

* * *

(Sam's POV)

I stood in the doorway as Bella made the bed in the guest room. This was one of the few rooms in the house I had never slept with Emily in. This was reserved for whenever one of the wolves needed a place to stay overnight.

It was weird for me the way Bella did things. She moved different, talked different, it was strange. I was so used to the way Emily did everything that anything Bella did in this house seemed wrong. Maybe I should sell this place, buy another house where no memories of my soul mate were. It would be easier I was sure.

Bella turned down the blankets and smiled up at me. She was so sweet, so innocent that I felt guilty for wanting her for myself. Yet not enough to push her away. She was mine now. Mine to care for, mine to protect. Mine.

We silently got ready for bed, neither of us commenting on why we had moved in this room. Though I was sure she already knew and understood. That was just the way she was. She got under the blankets first, holding the edge up for me to slide in beside her.

Just as it had been since that first night I laid my head on her chest as she wrapped her body around mine. She played with my hair, hair that I was once again allowed to grow long. My hands traveled from her back to rest on her ribcage once again. She gasped as she had the night before, but did not move me away.

"I will protect you. Always." I wish I could get the words out that I wanted. Though I could once again speak, I still seemed to have trouble articulating like I used to. My sentences were sometimes choppy, missing words or even whole ideas.

She shivered as my breath moved across her bare neck, but I knew she was not uncomfortable. Her hands had stopped playing in my hair and just held me even tighter against her.

"You don't have to. I'm here to care for you, all you have to do is live." I shook my head and ran my hands up even higher. I needed her to understand, I was never going to allow anything to hurt her ever.

"I will protect you. Always and forever. No one will ever harm you, you will never cry again. I promise." Her hands tangled in my hair and pulled me away from her to look me in the eyes. Her brows were furrowed and she was biting her bottom lip.

She breathed out and closed her eyes for a moment, she gave me a soft nod before she pulled me back to her and then spoke quietly.

"Alright Sam. Alright."

* * *

(Billy's POV)

I stared at the blank screen in front of me. I hadn't turned it on since Jake left. All I could think about was what he had said about Bella and Sam. We all knew that he had clung to her, he was scared and hurt and needed someone caring. If that didn't describe Bella I didn't know what did.

We figured that he just needed the comfort she provided. Not one of us thought that it might go deeper, might cause bigger problems then my ruined friendship with her father. I couldn't understand what might be going on in Sam's head.

He had lost his soul mate and unborn child. It was understandable that he would want someone to care for him, but what Jake had described was beginning to frighten me. What had we done by allowing him to get so attached to Bella? What had we done to her?

Should he not make it and die it would hurt her. Should he live….would he ever be able to be without her? Was Jake right about his dependence on the girl? I didn't want to think about what would happen if he was. This would hurt so many people. Not just Bella, Sam and Jake. Charlie loved his daughter with everything he had, he already lost her once, could I really sit by and watch as he lost her completely?

And yet, Sam. I have known that boy since he was a child. Ever since he phased the first time I had gotten to know him as a young man. I didn't want him to die, I couldn't bear the thought.

Before me were two choices, and I didn't want to have to be the one to pick.

* * *

Author's Note: I really am enjoying writing this story!

Ok as I said I would try to answer any questions that anyone had, here we go. The main question was if Sam and Bella were going to get together? While I don't want to give away the ending, this is a Sam/Bella romance, though not your normal one. Now how it fully comes about I won't say, only that there will NOT be any imprinting involved.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	14. In Too Deep

Chapter Thirteen: In Too Deep;

(Billy's POV)

From my place in the yard I looked up at the house that had once been so bright a warm. It had been a second home for almost the entire pack. A place where they had no secrets and could just be themselves. Now the house, for all it's bright and cheery pain, looked dimmed. As though someone had cast a permanent shadow over the entire property.

For the past week I had been unable to get Jake's words out of my head. I had brought it up to Sue and Old Quil, yet they were still holding fast onto our last decision. They didn't have the same connection to Bella as I had. Or rather, once had. I hadn't actually talked to her since all this happened. And that was what brought me to where I was now.

I hadn't wanted Jake to know what I was doing, and so when Paul had dropped by to ask his Alpha something, I enlisted his help. I sighed as I looked around me. This house used to be much happier, and so bright. I remember coming here once for a dinner, Emily's smile just lit up the room and the joy in Sam's eyes directed toward his mate lit up everything else.

"You know Billy, I don't mind helping you out here, but I think I should point out that if you were wanting to talk to either of them, you actually have to go and knock on the door." Why couldn't it have been Embry or Jared that had dropped by? It wasn't that I disliked Paul, but the boy could be the biggest pain in the ass without even trying hard.

"Maybe this wasn't the best idea. Jake said that Sam was unstable, I don't want to…" I hadn't finished speaking before Paul had started to push my chair forward and knocked on the door.

"Oh calm down old man. They aren't doing anything in there if that is your problem. Now I know you aren't a coward so just talk to them so I can get your ass home before your son gets there first." Paul got no further before Bella was at the door. Her hair was pulled up on top of her head in a messy bun and she wore clothes that had seen better days. She looked tired and worn out. What was going on? She had never been one of those girls to really dress up, but she always took care of herself.

"Oh, hey Billy. What brings you here?" Paul spoke before I could even open my mouth. Why did I choose him again?

"Billy here wants to talk to you, or Sam. I'm not really sure which." I cleared my throat and looked back at the young wolf.

"Yes, thank you Paul. I could have said that myself." He just shrugged his shoulders and pushed me inside as Bella stepped back to make room for my chair. He wheeled me into the front room where Sam was watching TV and left me there saying that he would be just outside when I was ready to return home.

Bella followed into the room and sat beside Sam. It didn't escape my notice how he slipped one arm around her waist, pulling her to him. It was a move that would have seemed normal for most couples. I, myself used to do the same thing without thought with Sarah. It was the fact that it was these two that made the move fill me with unease.

"So what was it that you needed Billy? Is it Charlie? Nothing has happened has it?" Her voice rose at the end with worry. I remembered Jake telling me just two days ago that Bella hadn't spoken with her father since she moved back to La Push. A pain shot through my chest at the thought of my best friend. He was truly alone now.

"No, no Charlie is fine. I actually wanted to talk to you about this. All of this, I mean Sam and everything." Bella furrowed her brows and I felt my stomach churn as Sam picked up on her mood and pulled her slightly onto his lap. This was wrong, this was all so very wrong.

"Bella, I know Charlie has talked to you about this, but you may have dismissed it because he doesn't know about the pack….." I took a deep breath, I wasn't so sure this really was a good idea. Sam was watching me now with eyes that seemed haunted and yet calculating. I was sure he knew where this conversation was going, and I knew he wasn't going to like it.

"You are young, I mean you are barely twenty yet. I know that you have the best of intentions, I know you just want to help. But I'm not so sure this is a good idea. Sam needs help, but maybe you shouldn't be the one to give it to him.

"There are others, here in La Push, that could take him. Care for him. Then you can go on a live your life. You are too young to be tied down like this." I could see Sam shaking and I feared that he was finally going to loose control. If he did, he would end up killing both me and Bella. Before I could yell to Paul for help Bella had smoothed Sam's hair down with one hand and made soft noises in his ear. He quickly calmed down and pulled her more fully into his lap.

"Don't tell me Charlie asked you to do this? I thought you were on my side?" I shook my head. She was so young, she didn't seem to understand the danger on which she was sitting at the moment. And it was not even just the risk of him phasing or loosing control. This was just wrong, I could see that now. I could see it in the way he was holding her, in the way he looked at her.

"I haven't talked to Charlie in awhile, and I'm am on your side. And Sam's. Don't get me wrong Sweetie, I would give anything for him to get better. But I didn't realize everything that was going on, and I don't want you in danger. This, he, is dangerous right now he could so easily…" Sam growled and when I looked into his eyes they were as clear as water, whatever madness the death of Emily caused seemed to be pushed aside for the moment.

"I would never hurt Bella, no one will ever hurt her again. I'm her Protector." The churning in my stomach increased at his words.

"Sam, Jake is her protector, hell even Edward is. You are not. She may be caring for you but…" He once again cut me off, this time he set Bella carefully aside, stood and grabbed my chair pushing me outside into the backyard. Bella yelling at him the whole time.

When we finally stopped I was actually afraid he might hurt me. Instead he kneeled down in front of me, his eyes staring unblinkingly at me.

"I _am_ her Protector. No one will touch her again. She is mine, not Jake's and not Edward's. _Mine_." His voice was deep and rumbled within his chest as he spoke. What happened to the young man that I knew? Sam would never have acted this way before. Frankly it was scaring the shit out of me. I wanted to tell him that he was wrong, that she didn't belong to him. I saw now what Jake and Charlie did, and I wanted to get her away from him, but I knew it was too late.

I looked past him towards the backdoor to see Bella standing there wringing her hands obviously worried. But for me or Sam I wasn't sure. Sam glared at me again and I decided to just keep my mouth shut.

"Leave now, don't come back. No one will ever take her away from me." With that he turned and walked back to Bella. The girl wrapped him in her arms and stroked his hair as she whispered to him.

It was too late, for both of them. They were already in too deep. I could try to convince the others that someone else could take care of him, one of us perhaps. But I knew that there was nothing we could do now. Should we take Sam away from her he would surely die, and that would end up tearing Bella apart. All of this of course was only if we could take him. Besides the fact that Sam could easily loose control and hurt many of the other wolves, Bella would never allow it. I could see it in the way she held him and looked at him.

No, she was not in love. At least not like that and not yet. She loved him I was sure, and I feared that should we try they would both leave and we wouldn't ever hear from them again.

"I've never been scared of Sam, but that was fucking frightening. I've never seen him act that way before." Paul was behind me and had started to push me back to his car. I knew he heard the whole thing, I just hoped that he was good at shielding his thoughts when phased. This was not something that I wanted Jake to hear. He was at the moment leaving Sam alone because he didn't want to take the chance that he would loose control and hurt Bella, but should he hear what Sam had just said I had no doubt at all that he would be over here trying to kill his former Alpha.

I clenched my eyes shut as Paul continued to mumble about what had just happened. This was not suppose to happen. I should have listened to Charlie.

* * *

(Sam's POV)

I allowed Bella to pull me into the house and set down on the couch. She was still holding onto me and that was one thing I wasn't going to allow her to end. Everyone was trying to take her from me, everyone was trying to take the last bit of comfort I had in the world. Had I not been through enough? I had lost my happily ever after, couldn't I at least have this one thing?

"Sam, are you ok?" I nodded against her shoulder and just held her even closer to me. I wasn't going to let her go. Selfish? Maybe, but at this point I didn't care. I knew I couldn't live without her anymore. And I was going to make sure I wouldn't have to.

"What happened? Why did you just take off like that?" I didn't want to tell her it was to basically threaten a man she considered a second father. Or that I didn't want her to hear what I said because I was afraid it would send her away. Instead I settled on just a bit of the truth.

"He was trying to take you away. I wanted him to leave." The shaking in my body started again as I thought about leaving her. I couldn't, not now, not ever. Bella ran her hand through my hair and whispered nonsense to me, my shaking calmed as it always did when around her.

"Maybe….maybe he is right. Not that I want to leave you, but maybe I can't help you. Oh…Damn it Sam I want to help you and I thought I have been helping. But what if I'm not? You could go live with one of the Elders, I am sure they would know how to help better than I could." I stiffened in her arms. She was trying to leave and I couldn't let that happen. She was mine now, she promised.

"They couldn't. Only you, always you. You promised you would never leave me, don't leave me. I would die, I don't want to die." I could smell the salt of her tears as they ran down her cheeks. One hit the side of my face. The small hot droplet slipping down between the crease between my lips.

"I don't want you to die either. I promise, alright, I promise. I won't go." Her face lowered till it was resting in the crook of my neck. I was sure this position was uncomfortable for her, but I didn't want her to move. I didn't want her to ever move.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I didn't understand what was going on. Not just with Billy, but with me and Sam as well. The past week things had changed between us, a change that scared me a bit. Sam was opening up more. He seemed more there more often. But with that clarity also came an intenseness that left me slightly uncomfortable.

Sam was touching me different. Nothing sick or wrong, at least they didn't make me feel that way. But his touches had become more…intimate. They were softer at times, and yet firmer others. He held me different when we slept. It was less needy and more protective. Like he feared that someone was going to try and take me from him in the middle of the night.

It was not only the way he touched me or treated me that had left me confused, but my own feelings towards the man. I knew I loved him more than a friend or a brother, and yet less than a lover. I wasn't sure where he fit in my life. With both Jake and Edward I knew I had a romantic love, with Billy and Charlie it was the love of a daughter. Many of the pack I loved as friends, brothers even. But with Sam I wasn't sure where he went.

The only thing I knew was that something between the two of us had changed. I wasn't sure what, but I knew I couldn't stop it. I wasn't even sure if I would if I could. The only thing I hoped was that whatever was coming wouldn't hurt anymore people. There had been too much pain as it was.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok I want to point out one thing before I answer what questions I can. First: when it comes to this story, _**no one is right and yet no one is wrong. This story is filled with wrong choices, on everyone's part.**_ So I am sure that at some point everyone is going to get mad at a character or two.

Now to the questions everyone has asked.

Will they have kids?...That you will have to wait and see. I don't want to give too much away.

What is up with the Cullens?...Well you will get to see a bit more on them next chapter.

Is there going to be normal like dates and all that stuff, slowly growing instead of the imprint where it is instantaneous?...Well, not to give too much away, but neither really. I hope this chapter shows a bit about where this story is going.

When is Sam going to get better?...Can't answer that one, it would ruin the rest of the story.

Alright I think that is it.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	15. Wrong, Sick, And Twist

Chapter Fourteen: Wrong, Sick, And Twisted;

* * *

(Jake's POV)

Phasing back to my human form, I pulled on my shorts and entered my house. Dad was in the front room like he normally was when I returned from patrol at this time, only the TV wasn't on. Instead he was leaning over and had his head cradled in his hands. This was a position I had seen him in a lot lately. He had been acting strange for the past few days, and I have been unable to get him to talk to me about whatever it was that was bothering him.

Of course he wasn't the only one behaving weird. Paul was as well. Whenever I was phased with him he just kept singing random songs, it was really beginning to bug me. I was irritated enough with the whole thing between Sam and Bella without adding in my very own wolf radio. I walked into the kitchen hoping to find something to eat.

"Jake, could you drop me off at Charlie's?" My hand stopped just above the fridge handle. I turned to look at my father, he was still curled up in the same position as he had been a few moments ago. I thought about telling him no. He was Team Sam in this little soap opera we had going on in La Push, and I really didn't want to inflict my father's views on Charlie.

I had seen Charlie just yesterday, the poor man seemed to have aged ten years since I had seen him last. He had asked me all sorts of questions about Bella. How she had been, was she alright? And did I think that Sam would hurt her? I hadn't been sure how to answer that last one. I had already assured him once that Sam wouldn't, but I hadn't known at the time how things would play out. Had I, I would have told Charlie to take Bella and go far, far away.

Looking at my father now, hunched almost into a ball in his wheelchair, he looked like the perfect picture of weakness. I wasn't sure what was bothering him, but if seeing Charlie would help I would take him. Even if he hurt Charlie more, he was still my father and I hated seeing him how he was now.

"Sure sure, you ready to go now?" He just nodded his head. I went into the front room and grabbed onto his chair. I might as well get it over and done with now. I had hoped to see Bella later. I had to make sure she was alright, even if she had hurt me.

* * *

Charlie was surprised to see us of course, but he hadn't said anything. He just walked into his house leaving the door open in an invitation to go in. I wheeled Dad into the kitchen where Charlie had seated himself at the table with a beer.

I gave Charlie a weak smile and my Dad a pat on the back before I left so they could speak. I went out a ways into the woods behind the house, just far enough away that I wouldn't overhear them. I walked back and forth just inspecting different plants. It wasn't long before I smelled it. Leech.

"Lower your hackles mutt, it's just me." Great, Edward. That was just what I needed.

"What are you doing here?" He stepped into view and I was momentarily shocked. I hadn't thought leeches could look less than perfect. Yet here he stood before me, hair a mess and his clothes all wrinkled.

"Trying to find out what happened to Bella. She disappeared completely from Alice's visions and I haven't been able to get a hold of her. Now though I see why. How could you allow her to actually move in with him?" As if I didn't get enough of having my mind read when I was phased the stupid leech had to go picking at my head.

"Not like I had much of a choice. I didn't even know she was doing it until she had moved in. You know how stubborn Bella is, she was not going to listen to either of us." That was a lesson learned the hard way.

"Sadly." We stood there a moment, two enemies fearing someone other than the other.

"I am _not_ afraid of Sam." His voice was haughty, but he couldn't lie about this.

"Yes you are, don't deny it. And you should too, I am. Sam is…not who he used to be." I could see as Edward stood up a bit straighter, his face becoming a blank mask.

"You think he will harm her?" His voice was short and sharp, not that I blamed him for it.

"Not physically. Emotionally, I have no doubt. He is spiraling down and taking her with him, and what is really fucking fantastic about all this is that Bella doesn't even see it. She gets angry if we mention anything to her about leaving, says we are against her. And I'm afraid that it might be…" Edward seemed to deflate right in front of me. It would have been funny looking had the reason been different.

"Too late? Charlie seems to think so. He thinks that we have lost her. I have been hoping he was wrong." As was I. I didn't want to think about what it would mean if we lost her to Sam.

Edward suddenly froze, his face turning from weariness to anger. I couldn't sense anything around us and I was sure I hadn't thought anything that would anger the leech. His head shot to look straight at me, his eyes were pitch black and had I been fully human I would have been fearing for my life at that moment. He looked crazed.

"Get her away from him, I don't care how you do it, just get her away from him." His voice was low and carried an authority I was sure anyone else would have had problems denying. As it was, it only served to piss me the hell off. Who did he think he was bossing me around? Even if it was something I wanted myself.

"Where the hell do you get…" I stopped as he snarled. Man, something really ticked him off.

"Do it, or I'm going to get her myself. Treaty or not." He growled again and before I could ask him what the fuck his problem was he had taken off.

This was great, just fucking great. Did he think I haven't tried to get her away from him, that Charlie hasn't tried? My God, he has all but tried to drag her away forcefully. And she won't listen to me anymore when it comes to Sam.

Now, I not only had to make sure that Bella was safe, but I also was going to have to pick up on patrols. Right now we really didn't need a crazy leech barreling onto the rez.

Just fucking great.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I had never thought that there could be a pain worse than when my wife took our daughter and left me. I had been wrong. This was worse. I could pretty much bet you that getting shot in the chest would hurt much less than this. My daughter had left and I knew she was in danger, but I could not do a damn thing about it.

I had not spoken to anyone besides Jake since she left. I couldn't find it in myself to be angry at him. He was going to get his heart broken because of this. No one had come to see me, not even Bella. When I opened the door I hadn't really expected Billy, he had keep his promise and stayed away.

Not really wanting to deal with whatever he had to say, but finding myself unwilling to send him away I just left the door open and returned to the kitchen. It was frozen dinners and beer again tonight.

Jake wheeled Billy in and left. Neither of us talked for awhile. I didn't even offer him a beer like I normally would. I just watched him as he fidgeted in his chair. Something was different. He looked much more worn down and upset.

Unable to take the silence anymore I stood up and grabbed a beer from the fridge and slammed it down beside him and sat back down.

"If you are going to be here you might as well drink." He nodded and opened the can taking a large gulp. He still refused to look at me or talk.

"I told you, you were not welcomed here anymore." He set his beer aside and finally looked at me. His eyes were haunted.

"Still you didn't slam the door in my face." Of course I hadn't. He was still my friend, even if he helped in the downfall of my life. He was still my brother.

"Why are you here Billy? If you want to tell me that I should be proud at what Bella is doing for your tribe I would rather you just leave. It doesn't matter how much crap you spout about her helping, I will never be able to accept this. She is in danger, and the thing between her and Sam is just wrong." Wrong, sick, and twisted.

"I know it is." My head shot up at his words. I was sure my mouth was hanging open. What could have happened for him to finally recognize what I had been saying all along? Suddenly I felt sick, what had happened to my baby?

"Don't look like that, Bella is alright. At least for right now. But you are right, it is wrong and I'm….I'm sorry I didn't see it earlier. This isn't healthy for Bella. I shouldn't have put Sam before her, but to be honest I hadn't understood at the time. I never thought that he…." He set his head in his hands, but I still saw that deep haunted look in his eyes before he had moved them from mine.

"Thought that he…what? You said that Bella was alright, but what is wrong?" If he had done anything to my baby girl I wouldn't hesitate to kill him. I don't care if he was important to his people, he would be dead.

"He hasn't hurt her, he just….I didn't realize that he would become as attached as he had, or that she would. I went to talk to them a few days ago, Jake had been worried and something he said bothered me so I went to see them.

"It didn't take me long to understand what had been going on. When I did figure it out finally I tried to talk some sense into Bella, Sam got angry. He threw me out and told me that I was never to come back. He won't let anyone near her that he thinks will take her away. As for Bella, she was more concerned for him than me. They are so wrapped up in each other it is frightening." The sick feeling in my stomach only got worse. This was what I had feared, this was something that could so easily turn violent.

"Do you think we could forcefully separate them? Maybe commit him, they could bring a team out to take him away." He shook his head and looked away from me.

"No, it could end up very bad if we tried. Besides Bella would never forgive any of us. There is also the chance that they could find out and run off. Could you take the chance that you might not ever get to see her again?" I hated this. I was sure if they ran away I would be able to find them. Being a cop would give me a bit of an advantage.

"So what did you come here for then? You say that you realize that this is dangerous, and yet you are still not going to allow Sam to be committed are you?" Why did this surprise me?

"He can't be allowed to go to a hospital. I'm sorry Charlie, I came here because I thought you should at least know. But Sam will not be leaving the reservation, and I wouldn't try anything. Jake might want Bella away from him just as much, but he won't allow Sam to be taken away either. None of the boys will." What the hell was wrong with this man? What was so wrong with getting Sam the help that he needed?

"Get out. I don't want to see you again. I had hoped that maybe we could fix this, but this isn't like the other times. This isn't like a fight over the Cullens, or who caught more fish over the summer. I want you gone, and if you ever come back here I will arrest you for trespassing." I stood and just left him there, I knew Jake would be back soon and take him away. Until then I couldn't look at him. It was unbelievable, he said he was sorry that he hadn't put Bella before Sam, but he still wasn't. And I knew he never would.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry, i know there was no Bella or Sam, but we will get back to them next chapter. Ok, well there was what was going on with Edward. I decided to write it this way because I really didn't want to write Edward's POV, so hope this at least helped a bit with some insight into him. Also, what made him stiffen would be the fact that he saw the convo between Billy and Sam in Billy's head.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	16. Heros

Chapter Fifteen: Heroes;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

The light from the rising sun filtered through the bedroom window, the lace curtains creating an almost warm glow. I had woken around fifteen minutes earlier to find Sam still sleeping soundly. This was unusual as normally Sam would wake before me.

I turned my head to look at the man who seemed to consume my life anymore. He looked peaceful in his sleep. This was one reason I had yet to try and wake him, the other was that with him sleeping I had time to really think.

I had known things were changing between us. I was not so blind that I could not see it, but more in denial. Sam had his hands pressed just under my breasts beneath my shirt. His hot skin almost burning mine, it was a feeling I was not used to. Neither Jake nor Edward had yet to venture this far, and yet here was a man I wasn't even dating touching me in this way.

He had one leg pulled over top of my hip holding me down firmly onto the mattress, and his head rested almost in the crook of my neck. I could feel his breath as it washed over me with every exhale. It wasn't just the way in which he held me anymore though, it was also the look in his eyes. It was possessive and dangerous. The look he had in his eyes just after Billy had visited had scared me. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but others I was beginning to realize he most likely wouldn't hesitate. Mostly if they were trying to take me away from him.

I ran a hand through his hair as I laid there. He wasn't the only one that had changed either. I had found myself thinking constantly of him, worrying every second of the day. I cared little for anyone else's wellbeing. I feared what I would do should something actually happen to him. It was crazy and weird, and I couldn't stop it.

This, whatever this was between us could not seemed to be stopped. But I knew I wouldn't stop it if it could. Sam needed me, he needed me in order to live, in order to be happy. I would not condemn this man to death for my selfishness.

"What's the matter?" Sam's voice startled me from my thoughts. I looked down to see that he was staring straight at me. I smiled at him, hoping that it didn't look weak.

"Nothing, I was just thinking about us. About what we are doing." He sat up, his hands brushing against my ribcage slowly as he removed them. I moved to sit up beside him, but he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap.

"You are helping me and I am trying to be human again. What else is there to think about?" It sounded so simple, and I knew in the beginning that it had been. I had only wanted to repay him for saving me by saving him. When had it turned into whatever this was now?

"It's more than that, I know you can see that. This is….different." I didn't know any other way of putting it. This man that now held me tightly to him, I loved less than a lover and yet more than a friend or brother. It was confusing me to no end.

"It is more, but not wrong. You're not wanting to leave are you? You promised me…" I held up my hand and rested it on his mouth. There was no need for him to finish that. I already knew I wouldn't be leaving.

"I'm not going anywhere so don't worry. I'm just trying to figure out where you are in my life, and where I am in yours." He looked contemplative for a moment and then pulled me tightly against his chest, setting his head on top of mine.

"Heroes. We are each other's heroes." The way he said it spoke of finality. This was what he believed, and I guess I could too. But there was just something inside nagging me that we were more of each other's ruin.

* * *

I worked in the kitchen making lunch when I saw Jake through the window. He looked so tired and worn down as he walked up to the house. His head was hanging down just a bit, his shoulders sagging as though a huge weight had been placed on them. Though all he wore were his usual shorts, they looked more disheveled than normal.

I hadn't even been able to yell over my shoulder that Jake was here before I felt Sam standing behind me. He had placed his hands on my hips and had pulled me against his chest. I panicked for a moment. If Jake came in inside to see the two of us in such a position it would not only hurt him, but he could very easily try and hurt Sam.

I struggled in his arms, and after a moment was able to pull myself away. I gave him what I hoped was a stern look and went to greet my boyfriend.

I had to hold in a gasp as Jake looked up at me, his eyes were full of hurt. What had happened? He gave me a weak smile and pulled me into his arms. The moment I wrapped mine around his waist he seemed to relax and just held onto me for a moment. As he pulled away I noticed how he tried to discreetly sniff my neck and hair. I swore I heard him whimper as he did.

"Is everything alright Jake? You look so tired. Here come in and sit down, I'll get you something to eat. I was just about finished with lunch." He didn't say anything to me as I led him to the table. Sam was there, standing his full height with his arms crossed over his chest. If I hadn't known better I would have believed he was back to his old self. He looked so much like that old Sam, if not for the still haunted and dangerous look in his eyes.

The two didn't even say hello. Figuring by the staring contest they were having, I decided that they wouldn't and so returned to the kitchen to finish the food.

Lunch was quiet, and uncomfortable. Jake gave me one word answers to all the questions that I asked and downright refused to partake in any sort of conversation. Eventually I stopped trying and just ate. It was only after we had all finished that he spoke.

"Bella, I need to talk to you. Alone." Sam started growling, but I laid a hand on his arm and he stopped.

"It's ok Sam, I'm just going to talk to Jake. I told you this morning that I wasn't going anywhere. I'll be fine." He sneered at Jake and I knew this wasn't going to go smoothly.

"She does happen to be my girlfriend…" I kicked Jake under the table to shut him up. Thankfully he did, but he also sent me that look I knew meant that he was really upset.

"We will stay just at the tree line, ok? You will be able to see me at all times." He nodded his head reluctantly and stood to go and stand in front of the window. I knew Jake was about to say something so I kicked him again and grabbed his hand.

Once we got outside he matched my steps and we ended up walking to the trees side by side still holding hands. When we stopped he turned me around and pulled me into a heated kiss. He had kissed me many times before, but none of them felt quite as desperate as this one. Not even the one he gave me before the battle with the newborns.

When he finally pulled away, it was only an inch or two so he could easily look into my eyes but keep the two of us close.

"I have missed being able to do that whenever I wanted. I hate this Bella, I hate that he has all your time. He is taking you away from me, I can feel it. But what I hate most of all is that you're letting him." I stepped back from him and wrapped my arms around my middle. I knew this was hurting him, both him and Edward. And Edward didn't even know what all was going on anymore. I admit I was a coward, too scared to even call him and inform him where I was and what I was doing.

"Don't Jake, just don't. Sam needs me, you know that. When he is better everything will return to normal. You'll see." He ran his hand roughly through his hair and growled a little.

"He is not going to get better. Why can't you see that Bella? This is not the same thing that happened to you. You're not dealing with a normal man. If this had been anyone else, yes he would be fine eventually. He would be able to heal and move on. Not Sam.

"His Soul Mate, HIS _Soul Mate_, was killed and he had to see it happen. Half of him is missing, that can not be fixed. No matter how much you might want it to, that part of him will never just grow back. We might be able to heal any other injuries quickly, but this is one that just won't heal at all.

"He is never going to get better. So what are you planning on doing?" I could feel a few tears spill over the edge of my lids. I hated everything that he was saying, and not for the same reasons I would have once. But because I was beginning to believe them. Sam might be able to do things for himself, speak and stay unphased, but I would hardly call him healed.

"Listen, I'm sorry. This was not what I had come over for. Though I do hope you think about what I said. What I needed to talk to you about was the fact that Edward knows you are here. You disappeared from Alice's visions completely, and he couldn't get a hold of you so he went to Charlie's. He read it in our minds, which by the way I still find annoying as shit." I rolled my eyes at Jake. He might moan and bitch about Edward being able to read his mind, but he also had fun with it. Using it to replay our dates when Edward was around, or according to Embry, his fantasies.

"Ok, so what, does he want me to call him?" This was something I really should have done, but as I said I was a bit of a coward. More so now that I knew I had disappeared completely from Alice's visions. There could only be two reasons for that to happen.

"No. He had the gall to order me to get you away from Sam. Something he saw in one of our heads pissed him off royally. He said I was to get you out or he was coming to get you himself, treaty or no.

"I have no idea if he was serious or not, so I have jumped up patrols. All we need right now is for him to break the treaty to get to you." Stupid, stupid Edward! What was he thinking?

"Thanks for telling me, but what can I do about it?" Jake just stood there looking at me like I was an idiot.

"Call him, talk to him. I don't know, just get him to back off! I already have a lot to deal with. Seth has started to rebel, he knows that I don't want to use my role as Alpha to get him to do anything. He is skipping his patrols and starting fights with me and Jared. He blames us as well as Sam for the death of his sister.

"Sue is cold to us whenever we have to have a meeting with the Elders. I know they both understand why we did it, but they still hate us for it. I don't blame them, believe me I hate myself for my part in Leah's death. But Seth….I'm close to actually ordering him because I don't know what else there is I can do.

"To top it all off, I worry about you every second of the day. Dad is having some sort of crisis, mostly after Charlie threw him out of his house the other day and told him he would arrest him if he came back. The Pack have had it up to here with Seth and I know Paul is on the verge of beating the shit out of him. I do not need some hot-headed leech coming onto the Rez and making everything even more fucked up than it already is." He took a few steps back until he could lean against the truck of a tree. I hadn't realized everything that had been going on. Had Charlie actually threatened to arrest Billy? Those two had always been like brothers.

"Bella, I just need you to talk to him and get him to understand that if he comes here it will be the final straw. If he breaks the treaty it will be war." War? Hadn't enough already happened, hadn't enough died?

"I'll see what I can do, but I don't think it will do any good. Edward doesn't really listen to me. Mostly if he thinks I'm wrong or that what I want will put me in some sort of danger. He is stubborn to a fault. Please reconsider this war thing, please." He sighed and pushed off of the tree and pulled me into his arms.

"Only if you promise to think about what I said. Really Bella, I don't see why you can't see all of this for yourself." I looked up at him and started to reply, but he just lowered his head and planted another lingering kiss.

When he pulled away he gave me another small smile, one I realized was actually quite sad.

"I love you Bella. I've got to go now, but I'll see you again as soon as I can."

"I love you too." With that he turned and ran off. I just stood there a moment. Things seemed really bad, worse than I had imagined it to be. I stood there with several choices in front of me. So many paths I could take.

There were three in particular that I could see clearly. Each road started with a choice between three men. Two roads I could clearly see the outcome. In one I would grow cold and hard, living forever in a state of frozen youth. In another I would be surrounded by warmth and grow old and grey, watching as my children and grandchildren grew. The third road was blurry, I could not see the ending or the stops I would take along the way.

I knew though that all three of them had something in common. It did not matter which I chose to take, someone would end up getting hurt in the end. All three were filled with heartache. The thing was now I had to choose who I could stand to hurt even more.

* * *

(Sam's POV)

I watched from the window as Jake pulled Bella to him and kissed her. My hands clutched at the counter in front of me, I knew if I looked down my knuckles would be white. It took everything within me not to go out there and rip him off of her, but I knew that this would upset Bella. I could not do anything that would send her away from me.

I could hear them as they spoke, and it made my anger raise even more. He was trying to get her to leave me. The only thing that kept me from running out there was the knowledge that she had promised me that she wouldn't leave. She promised, and I knew she wouldn't break it.

The thing that almost shattered my resolve was the news about her leech. I knew he wouldn't listen to anyone, not Jake, not his disgusting family, not even Bella. He would be coming here for her, and I doubted it would be very long before he did.

I would have to be ready. He couldn't take her, and I wouldn't allow him to try by force. Jacob would have no need to declare war, because I would have him ripped and burned long before the rest of the pack even knew he was here. No one was going to take Bella. I was her Protector now and I had promised that no one would hurt her, no matter who they were.

When I knew that Jake was completely gone I rushed outside where Bella was still standing staring blankly ahead of her. I wrapped her up in my arms, she was shivering. Carefully I place one arm behind her knees and the other behind her shoulders and lifted her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her head against mine.

I didn't stop once I entered the house, I didn't go to the front room but straight to our room where I sat her down on the bed and kneeled before her. She looked at me and gave me a weak smile. There were tear tracks on her cheeks and I slowly moved in so I could rest my lips on them, using my mouth to wipe them away.

She gasped at my touch but didn't shy away. I placed my hand on her ribcage and carefully laid her back on the bed. I could smell Jake on her and I hated it. I leaned over her, my body just hovering, not touching. Her eyes searched mine and I could hear the rapid beating of her heart.

Careful not to crush her I lowered my body so our bodies were touching completely. I brushed my thumbs back and forth just under her breasts as I laid soft kisses along her cheeks and neck. Her heart was beating so fast now it was surprising she wasn't having a heart attack. She didn't move, just laid there with her hands flush against her sides.

Once I knew my scent covered her neck and shoulders I rose up just enough so I could press my lips to her's. Her heart skipped a moment and she let out a soft gasp, I used this as an opportunity to slide my tongue inside. She didn't kiss me back as I stroked and nipped, but I didn't care. There was a kind of comfort in this that I had not realized. It was different than just holding her or being near her. With this one kiss I could easily see why others would seek sex as a means of comfort in times of stress and tragedy.

Slowly I started to register her taste. It was sweet and so good, and yet so different from Emily's. That realization made me stop what I was doing and pull back gradually. When I was far enough away to see her face I noticed that her eyes were wide and new tears were spilling from them. The sight along with the memory of Emily caused me to scrunch up my own eyes.

I couldn't stop the tears as they were forced from beneath the lids. I laid back down against her, this time not caring about crushing her. I hid my head in the crook of her neck and cried. This wasn't me, none of this was.

"I'm sorry, oh God Bella I'm so sorry." I could hear myself apologizing, but I couldn't seem to feel my lips moving. Bella must have shook herself from her shock because I soon felt her arms wrap around me, her fingers running through my hair.

"Shh, it's alright Sam. There is nothing to forgive, shh now." How could she lay here and hold me, how could she act like I hadn't just tried to force myself on her? Even if it was just a kiss.

What was I doing? What had we gotten ourselves into?

* * *

Author's Note: So things are finally starting to happen. The story should get a lot more interesting from now on.

I know some of you want Billy to tell Charlie the truth about the pack and what is going on hoping that it will get him to understand, but I don't see that working. I mean Charlie has a hard enough time with believing that Sam is just a human man that has gone crazy. If Charlie knew that if Sam lost control he could explode into a huge wolf he wouldn't be understanding at all. In fact I think he wouldn't hesitate to go and get Bella with a gun in hand. It would only make it worse.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	17. Childish

Chapter Sixteen: Childish;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I sat the phone back down in the cradle for what had to have been the tenth time in as many minutes. I hadn't thought I was this much of a coward, but the fact that I couldn't even call Edward was proof enough that I was.

Sam sat across from me, his elbows on the table and his head resting in his hands. After last night he hadn't talked to me, he had barely even looked at me. I sighed and pushed the phone away from me, Edward could wait, Sam needed me at the moment.

He had cried most of the night after he had kissed me, every few minutes he would once again apologize. I tried my best to sooth him, but it hadn't seemed to help. Now with the way he was acting today. I wasn't sure if he was upset because he thinks he was forcing himself on me, or if it was because he kissed a woman that was not his imprint. Maybe it was a bit of both.

I stood and pulled my chair right next to his, my arms going immediately around him. He stiffened for a moment, but quickly relaxed into me. I ran my fingers through his hair as his head rested on my chest.

"Why won't you talk to me today?" I could feel his hands as they slid across my ribcage and locked behind my back.

"I didn't think you would want me too. I took advantage of you." I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, yelling at him about how stupid he was, was not what he needed right now.

"You didn't take advantage of me. Did you hear me screaming or yelling at you to stop, did I try to hit you or get you off of me?" He sat up and pulled me into his lap so he wouldn't have to hunch over.

"No, but you were crying." I had been crying, but not because I felt violated like he was thinking. I was feeling a multitude of things. Scared of what was going on, sad about what Jake had said to me, completely terrified that he had been right about Sam never getting better, and guilty that I hadn't been trying to get Sam off of me.

"I was not crying because of that. I was just a bit overwhelmed was all, girls sometimes cry for silly reasons." He looked up at me and I could see the tears in his eyes, was he really feeling that guilty over this?

"You didn't kiss me back either." I tried not to grind my teeth together. What was it going to take to make him realize that I was ok with what happened?

"Sam, for God's sake! I'm not mad at you, I'm not scared either. I understand that sometimes people will seek out others in that way when they are hurting. It's just another way of dealing with pain." He rested his head on my shoulder again and rocked us a few times.

"I've been so scared that you were going to leave me." Of course. I slid one hand under his chin and directed his head to lift. When he was looking straight at me I gave him a soft smile.

"I'm not leaving you, I promised. And I swear that I am fine with last night…in fact…." I leaned forward and rested my lips to his. We sat there for a moment, mouth to mouth, neither of us doing anything. Eventually I closed my eyes and started to move my lips on his, just a gentle pressure. His hands lifted up and held onto my neck. He quickly took over, his tongue practically forcing its way into my mouth. Not that I fought him. He leaned me back and took from me as much as I was giving.

His kisses were unlike anything I had ever felt before, strong and sorrowful and yet so filled with fire. He pulled away after a few moments and we both struggled to catch our breaths. He leaned his head against mine, his eyes still closed.

"Why did you do that?" I ran my hand along his cheek and back into his hair.

"Because you needed it." He didn't say anything to that, we just sat there for a long time. Every now and then he would give me a soft kiss, nothing as passionate as the first. Eventually I slipped off of his lap and moved back over to the phone, it was time I got this over with.

I picked up the phone and dialed. It rang, and rang, and finally I heard the click of it being picked up.

"Hello." Emmett, what was Emmett doing picking up Edward's phone?

"Um Em? What are you doing, why didn't Edward answer." It was silent for a moment before I heard a bit of shuffling and the door closing. Finally Emmett spoke.

"Sorry about that, thought you might want a bit of privacy. Anyway, Edward left his phone at the house, he said he didn't want to be disturbed." Oh nononono!

"Why? Emmett, oh God Em please tell me he wasn't planning on coming to see me." My words were pleading though I already knew the answer. Sam was growling a bit at this, I was sure he knew as well.

"I'm not sure, he just said he had some business he had to take care of. Something that he had talked to your Jacob about." Oh shit!

"Damnit Emmett! He is going to break the treaty." Em was quiet for a moment, but I did hear a soft 'fuck' a moment later.

"What exactly do you mean he's going to break the treaty? Why would he even?" Maybe because he was an overbearing, paranoid, asshole that wanted to play hero. I kept that thought to myself, though I was sure Em would find it funny.

"He didn't tell you? Shit, fine I've moved onto the Rez with Sam. I'm still caring for him, but things at home with Charlie were getting bad and I thought it would be best for Sam in La Push. Edward found out about it and blew his top, told Jake that if he didn't get me away from Sam that he would come and get me himself, treaty or no." I could hear a few more curse words followed by quite a few colorful insults about Edward.

"Jake came by yesterday and wanted me to call and try to get him to back off. Jake says that if Edward crosses the border it's going to be war. I tried to get him to rethink it, but you know how those two are. It would not surprise me if they used this as a way to get rid of the other.

"I don't know what to do. I can't handle any of this….oh shit!" Sam was growling loudly now, he had moved from his place to stand between me and the door. Just beyond I could see Edward, and he didn't look happy.

"Edward is here. Oh God Emmett, what am I going to do I can't….what do I do?" I was yelling into the phone I was so freaked out. I didn't have to be right in front of Edward to know his eyes were pitch black.

"Calm down Bella, now just try to talk to Edward and keep everything calm. I'm going to get Carlisle and Jasper and we will be right there. All we need right now is a war. Stupid Edward, just stupid. Just hang in there, see you in a moment." The line went dead as he hung up and I was faced with one very angry boyfriend and one very angry wolf, both willing to fight to keep me.

This could not be happening, this just could not be. After everything that we had gone through this was what would finally bring it all to an end. How did my life turn out this way?

Edward walked slowly forward like he was stalking his prey, it was something I did not want to think about. When he was just inside the doorway I noticed that Sam was shaking pretty badly, but he had so far been able to hold onto his human form.

"Isabella, get over here now." His voice was deadly calm, but it was easy to hear his anger. I shook my head and cleared my throat before I spoke. I just hoped that my voice didn't crack.

"No Edward, I have already told you that I would be taking care of Sam. I am not a child and I refuse to be treated like one." I made sure I didn't stomp my foot as I said this, that would not have helped. He just raised an eyebrow and made to take a step closer, only Sam growled and crunched down lower in a protective position.

"You sure are acting like a selfish child at the moment. You know it is not safe to be around him, but you refuse to leave. Now, come here, we are going home." I stood up a bit straighter and forced myself to remain calm, though his words hurt me I wasn't about to start a shouting match.

"And you are acting like a spoiled brat. Acting out when you don't get what you want. You always do this, back when I just wanted to see Jake before the whole thing with the newborns you did some of the most childish things. You purposely sabotaged my truck, you bribed your sister into watching me. These are not the things that a mature person does.

"So just leave Edward. I love you, but right now I have a promise to fulfill. And you need to go before Jake finds out, he plans on declaring war on your family if you showed up." His nostrils flared and I swore he had snarled a moment. Before either him or Sam could do anything Jake, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmet came through the door. The last two grasping a hold of Edward's arms keeping him from doing anything. Carlisle looked over at me and gave me a soft fatherly smile.

"I'm sorry for this Bella, Sam, none of us knew what he was doing." I nodded towards him and looked over at Jake, my hands ringing around each other. He looked even more tired than he had yesterday. He gave me a lopsided smile and turned so he could easily look at both me and the Cullens.

"Thank you Carlisle, for coming and getting him. Remember this is only a one time deal, if he comes onto the reservation again we will not spare him." Carlisle nodded and spoke quickly to his two other sons who each gave me a nod before dragging Edward outside. Carlisle himself stepped towards Jake and held out his hand. Surprisingly Jake took it. Once he had left, and I was sure knew that they were far enough away, he turned to look straight at me.

"I thought I asked you to call him? You know what, never mind…at least that is over now. Are you alright?" He was looking me up and down like he was expecting to find a cut or teeth marks somewhere on me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. He really didn't do anything. How did he get on the rez anyway?" Jake's face grew darker and his jaw stiffened a moment before he spoke.

"It was Seth's patrol, he skipped again. This was the last straw, because he was not where he was suppose to he allowed a leech to get on our land. It could have been much worse had it not been Cullen. I don't want to do this, but I'm going to have to start actually ordering him." It was hard to imagine sweet and happy Seth acting out like he was. He had once looked up to Jake like a big brother. I understood why he was, but it was still hard for me too see.

"I thought you were going to declare war?" Not that I wanted him too, but I was curious as to why Edward was not a pile of ashes right now.

"Yeah well, once I found out he was on the rez I had planned on it, but first Carlisle came and promised to take him home and well…and I knew it would hurt you if anything happened to him or any of the Cullens. Just know though what I said to Carlisle is true. The next time he sets foot on the rez, he will be destroyed." I just hoped that Edward would listen to his family and stay off the rez.

"Thank you Jake!" I moved from around Sam and flung myself into Jake's arms. Sam growled but thankfully that was all. Jake held me close and again I swore I heard him whimper. After a moment he let me go and stepped back. He gave me a kiss on my forehead and smoothed down my hair.

"I love you." I ran my finger down his chest and tried not to let the guilt of my earlier actions with Sam show.

"I love you too." He nodded towards Sam and turned and left. I could see him phasing before he even got to the tree line. I turned back to Sam who was looking even more upset than he had earlier. He slumped back down into his chair and set his head in his hands again.

I walked over and pulling his arms back I settled myself in his lap with his arms wound around my waist.

"What is the matter?" He refused to look in my eyes until I set my hand on his cheek.

"I almost phased. I mean I would have done it to protect you if he tried anything, but I have worked so hard fighting Him." I gave him a small kiss on his lips and pulled his head down to rest on my shoulder.

"I know you have, but you still did good today. You didn't phase, it might have been a struggle, but you didn't phase. You _are_ winning, I just know it." The sad thing was I wasn't really sure that was true.

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	18. A Life In Chaos

Chapter Seventeen: A Life In Chaos;

* * *

(Jake's POV)

What had happened to the pack, to my life? After the end of the battle with the newborns things had actually started to look up. I had persuaded Bella enough that she realized that she loved me. While she hadn't picked me outright, she was going to give me a real chance at winning her heart completely.

I feared that chance was gone now. Everything had gone down hill, quickly sending my life into chaos. I had a hand in the death of Leah, even if she did break pack law I still had her blood on my hands. I had been forced to take the position of Alpha, something that I had never wanted. I watched as the woman I loved put herself in danger and knew I couldn't really say anything for fear that she would leave me. Day by day I was forced to witness as Bella pulled further away from me and all those she claimed to love, all because she had created an unhealthy bond with a crazy man. And if all of this was not enough I held part of the blame for the way Seth turned out.

Seth Clearwater had always been a happy kid, and after he first phased he had bonded real quick with everyone. But most of all me. Growing up being the youngest I had never been able to be the big brother, with Seth he allowed me to be that, the death of his sister put an end to it.

"Does anyone know where Seth is this time?" The whole pack, minus Embry who was on patrol and Seth, were currently all crammed into my front room for our weekly meeting. This was the fourth one he had missed in as many weeks. The kid was not just skipping out on patrols, but everything. I was at my wits end when it came to dealing with him.

"I saw him down at the beach sucking the face off of some girl. That was about a half hour ago, I would bet you he is still there." I pinched the bridge of my nose and nodded toward Paul. I knew that the death of a family member could be hard, but I hadn't realized how bad it was going to be for Seth. The death of his sister did more than break his heart, it changed him completely.

"Great, just great. I told him I needed him here, this meeting is pretty important." I looked around the room at the rest of the pack. Paul looked annoyed and I knew it was because of Seth. I don't know how many times I have had to talk him out of beating up the boy.

Realizing that Seth was not going to be coming I made my decision.

"Right, alright so if he won't come here we will just have to go to him. Let's go." No one said anything as we all marched out of the house. People were staring as we moved through the rez on down to the beach. I bet it was a pretty scary sight, six huge half naked men that looked more like they were on the war path than going to meet someone that was suppose to be a friend.

Seth was exactly where Paul had said he was, and still attached by the mouth to some girl. The shocking bit was though where his hands were. Enough was enough, I understood he was hurt, but he also had responsibilities.

I stormed over to the two and grabbed a hold of the back of Seth's shirt and yanked him from the girl. He squirmed a bit, but I was still stronger than he was and I had grabbed onto his arm. I was sure had he not been a wolf my hold would have broken the bones. The poor girl he had been making out with just sat there with her arms around her middle. She looked scared to death, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. Damn it!

"It's ok…" I nodded toward her, she licked her lips and looked around her at the other guys. She was probably terrified that we were going to hurt her or something.

"A-Abby." I gave her a smile hoping that it would calm her a little. Of course it didn't.

"Look Abby, it's ok. I'm a friend of Seth's. He seems to have forgot that he was suppose to meet at my house today…" Seth squirmed even more, I just squeezed harder. He whimpered a moment before getting angry.

"Friend? Hah! If you were a friend you wouldn't have helped kill my sister, you would have stopped them." Oh shit! I shook him a little and nodded towards Collin, he was one of the least menacing of the pack. He came up and wrapped his hand around young Abby's arm. She flinched, but otherwise didn't fight.

"Abby, why don't you let Collin walk you home? Don't worry he won't hurt you." That poor girl. Once she was out of sight I shook Seth a bit more before turning him around so I could look into his eyes.

"What the fuck Seth? You can't just go and blurt things like that out to people. How the hell are we to fix this, huh?" Paul laughed a bit as he sat down where Abby had just been.

"You know she probably thinks we are running some sort of drug cartel, and you Jake are our Drug Lord. I bet you by this time tomorrow everyone on the rez will be kissing your ass." Sometimes Paul had a way of just making things worse.

"Thank you Paul, now if we can get back to matters at hand. Seth this is the fourth meeting that you missed." He shrugged when I finally let him go.

"So, nothing important ever happens anyway." I ran a hand through my hair hoping that it would distract me enough not to hit him upside the head. I was getting frustrated with everything.

"This time something did. You skipped your patrol yesterday, can you guess what happened on your watch?" He rolled his eyes and tried to walk away only to be blocked by Quil and Jared.

"Fine, since you find yourself above answering I'll just tell you. While you were off doing God knows what a leech passed the border. Just walked right onto the reservation." Seth's eyes grew wide, but he still didn't speak.

"You are lucky that it was just Cullen. Had it been a human drinker how many of our people do you think would be dead right now? The blood of how many would be on your hands?" Seth turned around sharply and glared at me.

"It wouldn't have been on my hands!" His voice had lost a bit of its anger, now I could start to hear a bit of that child Seth used to be.

"Yes, Seth it would have been. It's your duty as a part of this pack to protect the tribe. Had someone been killed during that time when you could have prevented it, their blood would have been on your hands. I understand…." Before I could finish Seth had rushed up to me and pushed me, I worked to keep myself calm. It would not due to phase at all, let alone in the middle of a very public area.

"You don't understand anything! My sister is dead, and you didn't even stop it!" Paul came over to restrain Seth, but I held my hand up. He needed to rant and rave right now.

"I couldn't, you don't understand what it was like. You weren't there, ask Jared about this if you don't believe me, but when she broke Pack Law all thought left us at that moment. It didn't matter who she was, she could have been my own sister and I fear that the compulsion to administer punishment would have been too much.

"Don't you think that I carry around the guilt of what I helped do? After the fact was over all I could think about was that I had a hand in it." Though I haven't told anyone I haven't slept well since that day, nightmares filled with Leah's dead body filled my nights.

I took a couple of steps and put my hand on Seth's shoulder. This time he didn't try to get away from me.

"I'm sorry Seth, I wish that I could take it all back and that Leah would still be alive." He nodded his head, he looked less like a wolf at this moment and more like a small child.

"I hope you know that I have no choice in what I'm about to do." He looked up at me and I felt sick to my stomach as I opened my mouth. This was something I had never wanted to do. Something I swore I never would.

"Seth Clearwater, from this moment on you will attend to each and every one of your pack duties. You will not miss even one patrol or meeting unless I tell you otherwise. You will go back to school and unless I say you will not miss another day." The Alpha timbre felt weird as it vibrated through my throat. This was the first time and hopefully the last time I would ever have to use it. Seth glared up at me and the visage of that young kid was gone.

"Understood Sir!" I held my tongue as he snapped his hand up and saluted me. There was no point in arguing. There never was any point, no one really listened anyway.

* * *

The rumor of my being a drug lord had been cut off at least for awhile. Thankfully Collin had been quick enough to explain to young Abby that Seth partially blamed me for the death of his sister and cousin. Apparently, according to Collin and now Abby, Sam, Jared and myself had seen them just before they got in the car that they had crashed. And of course Seth blamed us for not offering to drive them, thus us killing them in his mind. Thankfully Abby bought the story. I guess it would be a bit more believable than three giant wolves killing the fourth because she had murdered her own cousin who just happened to be her ex's mate.

I sighed and looked over at Charlie. I had come over to see how he was doing, I was lucky enough that he was not mad at me. He looked like shit. I figured he hadn't shaved since Bella and Sam left, and by the smell I would say showered either.

"How is she?" I was jolted from my examination of him as he spoke for the first time since I came. He still kept his head down staring at his can of beer, but I knew he was paying attention.

"Well, I think. I just saw her yesterday." He nodded and took a drink. I wondered just how much he had been drinking. Besides the soured milk smell of unwashed human, all I could pick up was the skunky stench of beer.

"Is she happy at least?" I wish that beer did anything for me, sadly it was no different than drinking water for a wolf. I wasn't sure how to answer him. Was she happy? Maybe, but how could she be?

"I think so, at least she hasn't seemed sad any time I have seen her." He downed the last of his can and stood to get another one. His stumbling confirmed what I had thought, he was drinking too much.

"I…I think I have lost her." He stopped at the fridge before stumbling over to the cabinet instead. When he got back to the table it was with two glasses and a full bottle of single malt. He poured several fingers of the amber liquid into the glasses and slid one over to me. I should have been shocked that a police chief was giving scotch to a minor, but I was sure he was too out of it to think clearly.

I down half my glass and watched as he shot back all of his and refilled both glasses.

"We have all lost her. Drink." And with that he shot his second glass back.

Once the bottle was gone Charlie was so out of it he couldn't even talk, he just slurred. Thankfully I had managed to drink down most of it. Though I wasn't drunk, I could feel a slight warmth. I put Charlie to bed, making sure to lay him on his stomach and put a basket beside his bed. I would call Paul or Embry to come over and watch him as soon as I left.

I looked over the entire house till I found every last bottle or can of alcohol and dumped them all down the sink. I was sure he would be mad at me, but it was for the best. I knew he would just buy more, but I would just keep coming back. Bella may have left, but she still loved him and it would kill her if anything happened to Charlie. Hell it would kill me, he was a second father to me.

As I opened the back door to leave I could smell him. He stood just at the tree line still looking as though someone had dragged him through a field of brambles.

"What do you want?" He shook his hair out of his eyes and just stared at me, it was rather unnerving.

"Bella, I want Bella out of that house. Why won't you get her out of there? I don't see how you are able to stand it." He seemed confused, and I admit I was myself. I should have stormed into that house and pulled Bella kicking and screaming. That image had both Cullen and I cringing.

"Maybe that is why. You know what you pulled yesterday could have caused us to loose her?" I watched as his eyes darkened, but he remained calm and just looked ahead of him and away from me.

"I have already, you know this. Is it not what you just told Charlie? Yesterday when I was there I saw her kissing him in his mind." I leaned against a tree and looked back to the house, keeping and ear open for any sounds coming from Charlie.

"I know, I could smell him on her breath. I wanted nothing more than to kill Sam right then and there, but what would it have accomplished? If we do anything Bella would hate us, if we do nothing Bella will leave us." We were silent for a moment, the only sounds that of the forest and the drink induced snores of the man in the house.

"Jasper said that their emotions were confusing. He couldn't get a good read, only a jumble of possessiveness, anger, admiration, and protectiveness. He couldn't figure out which one they were coming from." Somehow this was not surprising.

"I never thought we would ever agree on anything, much less actually have a civil conversation." He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't get used to it mutt." I just snorted. It was not likely I would. Nor would I want to.

* * *

Author's Note: I know, there was no Sam and Bella in this one. Sorry, but I thought a few things needed to be dealt with first. Bella and Sam will return in the next chapter.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	19. Wars

Chapter Eighteen: Wars;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I looked down at the man sleeping soundly beside me, and wondered just how many times I had found myself in this position. I had been unable to sleep with so many thoughts rushing through my head, each and every one fighting for dominance.

Since I had willingly kissed Sam he had become more touchy, where once he would simply brush his hand against mine, he had taken to sliding his hand around my waist in an embrace that is far too intimate to be considered simply platonic. In the evening where we had once sat side by side on the couch, Sam had made sure to set me on his lap. And every chance he got he pulled me to him for a kiss. Not all of them were the passionate kind like the first couple of times, some were just simple touches of our lips. Even so the guilt of allowing this to happen was starting to eat at me.

I loved Jake and Edward, I knew I still did, yet I could not seem to pull back from Sam. There was something that drew me to him. It wasn't the same pull I had with Jake or Edward, yet it was just as strong. I was beginning to think it may be even stronger.

I was scared of losing the other two, but even more frightened that Sam would die. And that I believed was the crux of the problem. I knew that if I was to ever leave Sam, he would surely die, and I couldn't let that happen.

A hand sliding up my leg quickly interrupted my thoughts. I shifted a bit under the blanket hoping to dislodge his hand, but Sam's fingers dug into my thigh not allowing me to move. Though I knew he would never hurt me, there were times when he did scare me. He was intense, and this pull to him frightened me.

I stayed perfectly still as he continued to slide up my leg, every now and then he would squeeze slightly like he was trying to massage me. When his hand finally made it to the very top of my leg, his heat pouring off of him right onto my core, I jerked out of bed. I just stood there with one leg of my sweats bunched up under my hip and stared wide-eyed at Sam. For his part he simply sat up and stretched, looking for all the world as though he hadn't just been feeling me up.

He got up and strolled to the bathroom while I remained where I was, unable to speak. What was happening, and why didn't it surprise me?

* * *

(Sam's POV)

The bathroom counter was cold as I leaned my hands on it, and the cool mirror pressed harshly against my forehead where I had set it. What the fuck was I doing? I had never before treated a woman like I was treating Bella. Sure I may not have always been the perfect gentleman, but I never took liberties like this.

The feeling of Bella's skin against my own just kept invading my mind no matter how hard I tried to forget about it. I had been awake when she had woken, and when she sat up my hand slipped from its place on her ribs to her lap. I tried to ignore it, but I could feel her heat and all I wanted to do was claim it.

I didn't know what the fuck I was going to do. One part of me wanted to go right back in that room and claim her body, to forget about the ever present pain in my soul. And yet that other part, the one that was keeping my feet firmly glued to the bathroom floor, wanted to tell her to leave. To get out while she still could before I hurt her and broke her. I was frightened beyond belief of which side would win.

I ground my teeth together until I could feel the rusty tang of blood, I was sure that before I died I would have worn my teeth down completely. Even from the bathroom I could still smell her, hear the erratic beating of her heart, the frantic sound of her breathing. I was fighting with myself to stay where I was, but I wasn't sure which side. Was it the man or the wolf that longed to loose himself inside of her?

Finally, when I was sure that I was not going to jump Bella, I pulled back from the mirror and left the bathroom. I tried to ignore her sweet scent, but I found myself following it into the kitchen where she was standing at the stove.

She was shaking and I knew it was my fault. In her hand she held an egg, un-cracked and poised over the skillet as though she was unsure whether or not she was going to fry it. For a moment I just stood in the doorway, watching as the skillet began to smoke. Eventually I took a step inside the room and felt a stab at my heart as she winced at the sound. I never had wanted her scared of me, I only ever wanted to protect her.

I moved slowly till I stood behind her and reached out my hands. With one I took the egg and set it on the counter, the other I set the skillet off to the side. The burn from the hot handle not even phasing me. Once I had the stove turned off, I wrapped both my arms around her middle and tucked her under my chin. She was still shaking and I could smell the salty brine of the tears that were falling down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." I hoped she could hear me as my voice was lower than a whisper, but I was still fighting that side of me. It was screaming in my head to push her forward and take her, claim her. I knew if I did that not only would it hurt her, but then she would never be free.

"Why, Sam, why?" The crack in her voice made me physically ill and it took me a moment to form my words.

"You help me forget, help me be human. When I touch you I don't hurt as much, when I taste you I know nothing else." I could feel the slim control I had over myself start to slip and knew I had to let her go now. I tried to will myself to push her away, but my arms would not obey. Instead they slowly brought her even further into my chest. That part of me that was selfish, that wanted to claim her was speaking now.

"You are the only thing keeping me alive." As soon as those words left my mouth Bella crumpled in my arms, her tears coming even harder. I sank down to the floor and while still holding her bent over, trapping her beneath me. She cried as I encased her in my arms and body. Words I knew I should have never spoke rushed from my mouth.

"I will die without you, you can't leave me. Don't leave me Bella, I don't want to die." I closed my eyes and allowed a few tears of my own to escape. I knew that our fate was sealed, because I could feel the side of me that wanted to save this girl, die. The war that I had been waging was over.

"You won't leave me."

* * *

(Seth's POV)

Leah had been right, this life was a curse. What had Jake been thinking, that he was helping me? He had no idea, no idea at all what it was like. He may say he has to live with the guilt of what he helped do to Leah, but it was nothing like what I felt.

She was my sister, and though she may have been a bitch to everyone else she wasn't the same with me. Not one of the others had listened to her all those nights after Sam broke her heart, none of them had to lie awake in bed listening to her cry herself to sleep. None of them loved her as I did. And now here I'm forced to phase, to be a damned animal, where I get to relive over and over again the death of my sister. I get to watch as she was bitten and slashed. Thank God that neither Jacob or Jared actually saw Sam bite her head off, though the nightmares of it were enough.

I want to be able to make everyone hurt the way I do, I want them to understand. But most of all I want to be able to kill Sam Uley. I want to feel the way his flesh would tear beneath my teeth, the way his bones would crack and splinter between my jaws. I want to do to him what he did to Leah. But I can't. Pack law puts him in the right, even Mom had told me so.

So where did this leave me? Forced to watch the murder of my sister day after day, to play nice with those that helped? To pretend all was well, or to have a truth thrust upon me I was desperately trying to ignore?

That all in all, it was my fault. She had phased because she had gotten angry with me. If we hadn't fought she wouldn't have found out the way she had, if I had kept my mouth shut she would still be alive.

* * *

(Charlie's POV)

I slammed the kitchen cabinet as hard as I could causing it to bust off one of the hinges. Not that I cared. This was the fifth day that my bottles of alcohol have disappeared. The morning after I talked with Jake, I woke up to find every bottle and every can emptied and tossed into the trash. I was so pissed I drove to the store to pick up more even though my head was pounding and my stomach threatened to spill at any moment.

I had poured myself a glass of scotch and went to the bathroom to shower, when I came back it was to find the bottles empty and the cans crushed. Every time I bought more someone took them away. I had even tried to hide them around the house, but every damn time they would be found.

I was not sure who was doing it, but I had a feeling Jake had something to do with it. Though I'm not sure how. If I ever caught whoever it was I was going to haul them down to the station. They had no right to do this, I was a grown man and if I wanted to drink myself to death then I should be able to.

I had lost my wife, the only woman I have ever loved. I had lost Harry, one of my best friends. I've lost Billy, my brother. And now I have lost my daughter, the only person on this planet I would kill for, that I would gladly die for. I had nothing left, so why couldn't they just let me have this one last thing? To not be able to feel, to forget?

The heavy weight of my gun holster rested against my side where I had forgotten to take it off. I reached into it and pulled out my gun to run my fingers over it. It was such a small thing, but it was lethal. One shot directed just right could end things for me so easily. I could just put it to my temple and ever so gently pull the trigger, and pop!

I could, and I wonder who would be left to miss me? Would Sam allow Bella to attend my funeral? Would she even be allowed to know I was dead?

I lifted the gun higher and higher, the weight nonexistent as I slowly pulled the trigger….

* * *

Author's Note: Evil cliffy! Sorry I just had to.

Ok, I want to clear up something here. I know many of you think that Charlie is overreacting, he really isn't. Her leaving him is not the same as if she had fallen in love and gotten married. Charlie knows this, he is able to see something that both Bella and Sam are just now realizing. That the relationship between those two is harmful, that her choosing Sam meant that she was going to slowly start cutting everyone else out of her life. Which she has, at the moment the only other she has contact with is Jake, and that is pretty much because he comes over.

So Charlie being so upset is reasonable.

Anyway, this story is coming closer to the end.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	20. Changed

Chapter Nineteen: Changed;

* * *

(Paul's POV)

After I had first phased I knew that nothing good would ever come of it, but at the time I couldn't know just how right I had been. Because of all this so many lives were being torn apart. Sam, Bella, Jake and Billy. And Charlie. Ever since Jake realized that Charlie seemed to be drinking himself to death he had made sure one of us was watching him at all times.

I knew he was being driven slightly mad by our actions. The poor bastard would wake every morning to find that someone had stolen all his booze. I didn't blame him at all for what he was doing, I know I sure as hell would do the same as him, that or I would kill the fucker that took my daughter away. That was if I had one. The thing was I didn't want to see a good man destroy his life.

A loud pop came from inside the house, one that I knew could only be made by a gun. I rushed from the woods and to the house, worried about what I would find once I went inside. I busted through the door, my eyes going wide at the sight before me.

"What the fuck, Charlie?" The Chief of Police was standing just in his kitchen, most of the cabinets opened or the doors torn off completely. He was staring blankly at the wall he had just shot at with the gun in his outstretched hand.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I really didn't know what to make of the man before me, he looked so out of it anymore.

"Pretending to kill someone." I was sure I looked a sight myself, with my mouth hanging open, but come on that was not the answer I had been expecting! I mean I don't know what I had been expecting, but it sure wasn't that.

"Ooook, right. Who?" I moved slowly forward planning on taking the gun out of his hand before he realized what I was doing. I could just as easily rush up and yank it from him, even if he planned on shooting me it wouldn't do much damage. I was more worried about him getting hurt.

"I'm not sure yet. You got a list?" Oh fuck! Please tell me Charlie Swan did not just go crazy?

"No, well….come on Chief I think you need to sit down, and give me that damn gun. You scared the fucking shit out of me. Thought I was going to walk in to find that you decided to repaint your kitchen with your brains." Charlie just stood there for a moment before he handed me the gun and sat down at the table.

"Thought about it, but decided I would rather take a few people with me first." He placed his head in his hands, his fingers clutching at what was left of his hair. I continued to stand at the door, not knowing what to say and realizing even if I did, I most likely shouldn't say them.

"I figured it was Jake that had been taking my stuff, I'm guessing he asked you to help. How many of you have been watching me, and why can't you just leave me alone?" He didn't raise his head as he spoke, but he didn't need to. I could smell the saltiness of the few tears he had shed.

I walked over to the fridge and pulled out the milk. I may not have had some of the best memories growing up, but one thing I remembered fondly was my mother taking care of me when I had gotten upset. She always would warm me up some milk sweetened with honey and cinnamon. Charlie did not talk again as I located the pans and set to work. For awhile everything was silent. As soon as I had the drink warmed and frothed I set it down in front of him and took my seat.

"Most all of us take our turns. And to answer your other question, Jake cares for you. You might not realize it, but there are many people that would care if you died. Jake is having a hard enough time with this as it is, it would tear him apart if you killed yourself when he could have done something to prevent it." I watched as Charlie took a drink before he spoke.

"If this is hurting everyone why won't any of you let me commit Sam? Take him somewhere he could get the proper care he needs? Bella is still just a child, she doesn't realize what she has gotten herself into." He played with then handle of his cup. I wish I could tell him that everything was going to be fine with his daughter, but unlike some of the others I knew it wasn't.

"There is not a place on this planet that could help Sam, I doubt there ever will be. He….he had been a mentor to me for so long and I admit that when all this happened I was one of the people happy that Bella seemed to be bringing him back. Now though, I know that Sam would have been better off slipping away.

"His mind is completely gone, the man that I once admired died when Emily was killed." I stood up and headed for the door, picking up Charlie's gun along the way.

"I will return this to you in the morning before you leave for work, the same with your car keys. Your money is better spent on other things besides booze that I will just dump down the drain later."

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Something had changed. Something much larger than before, and it frightened me senseless. Before that morning the other day Sam had seemed so helpless, like a lost child. Now where he had once pleaded me with me to stay, constantly asking me to not leave him, he would speak with such surety that I was not going anywhere.

Gone was the young man that hunched over himself in grief and guilt. In his place was a man that had seemingly regained his power and mind. To one on the outside it would look like he had finally recovered. Sam walked straight-backed with his head held high. He no longer stuttered or struggled over his words, but spoke them clearly and with authority.

I knew better. When he spoke of me not leaving him, it wasn't with hope. He was telling me that I wasn't allowed to leave him. Even if I hadn't already figured that out, last night would have confirmed it.

We had been in bed for twenty minutes or so already. He had curled himself around me, but this time it was different. It wasn't in comfort. His hand had rested just under my breast, his thumb running back and forth across the flesh of the underside. He had one leg thrown over my legs, not only pinning me to the bed, but also bring my body as close to his as he could without climbing on top of me.

His head came down to rest on mine, his lips leaving small kisses upon my hair. His thumb had become more persistent, pressing into my flesh more than stroking it. I could feel his heat against my hip, but was thankful he wasn't actually pressing it into me. He had started to whisper against my hair, at first simple 'thank yous' for being there for him. It soon changed as he started whispering that I would never leave him, that I was his and he was my protector.

It all had sent chills up and down my spine, and it was the reason I was currently standing staring blank faced at the shelves of food before me. I had gone to the store planning on restocking the kitchen, but found myself just walking absently around instead.

I knew the time had come for me to choose a path. I had three men before me, each one wanted me for their own. One was cold and I knew I would be able to live forever with him, never having to watch him grow old and leave me. Another was warm and comforting, and should I choose him I knew I would forever be cherished. The last was powerful, and I knew with him nothing would ever be easy.

The choice should be easy, I was sure which man most women would pick. And yet I still hurt at the thought of upsetting any one of them.

Then came the fact that with Sam, I knew he would waste away and die should I leave. The question was, could I allow that to happen just to be with Jake or Edward? Was my happiness worth the life of another?

* * *

(Sam's POV)

I paced back and forth on the porch waiting for Bella to return. I shouldn't have allowed her to leave, when she left the memories came back. With those came the longing to phase and die. I took a breath to try and calm myself, there was no need to worry. Bella was mine, I knew she knew and understood that. She was mine and she wouldn't leave me.

A scent on the air caught my attention. Though I was no longer phasing I would still have the wolf senses for a few years. I stopped in stride, straightening myself up. I knew that smell, it was the scent of the pack. One of the pups.

Seth stepped out from the trees, the boy had changed much since I had last seen him. For a werewolf he looked almost sickly. He walked slowly towards the house, all the while keeping his eyes on me. His face was set and I could see the shaking in his body. He was fighting phasing.

"Did you even stop to think before you bit off my sister's head? Was there not one part of you that still loved her and feels guilt over killing her?" He was standing right in front of me now, his shaking not settling in the least.

"She killed my mate." His shaking increased along with the look of fury on his face. I knew what he wanted, it would be the same thing I would want if I were in his place.

"So, you plan on killing me boy? Think you could?" I took a couple of steps off the porch so I was face to face with him.

"You're not phasing anymore, I think my chances are better than your's." I felt a small laugh build up in my stomach. Seth took a step back at this.

"I've chosen not to change, it's not that I can't. Go, because if you start this I will not hold back. Do your mother a favor, don't make her mourn over another dead kid." I looked behind him to the edge of the woods where Jacob had just emerged. It seemed Seth was too angry to notice his Alpha, that was until Jake called out to him using the alpha voice.

"Seth! Leave now!" With a small whine and a growl to me he turned and ran into the trees, phasing as soon as he did.

I remained where I was for a moment just staring at Jake. Though he stood tall with the authority that he was born with, I could see in his eyes that he knew. He had lost.

I smirked and headed back inside, leaving Jake where he stood.

* * *

Author's Note: See, I'm evil, but not enough to actually kill Charlie off. I like him way too much

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	21. Paths

Chapter Twenty: Paths;

* * *

(Seth's POV)

I'm not sure how I had been able to keep it together while standing in front of Sam. I had been shaking so bad that everything was blurry even to me. I had wanted so bad just to phase and rip his head off, but of course Jacob had shown up to play Alpha. Why didn't he just allow me to kill him? I knew he hated Sam just as much as I did now, I had seen it in his head. He had plenty of dreams about ripping apart the man that stole Bella away from him. And yet he orders me to leave, I knew the next time I saw him he would Alpha order me to leave fucking Sam alone.

I phased and slammed into my house, not even caring that Mom was sitting on the couch. It wasn't like she hadn't seen me butt naked before. I paid no attention to her as I stomped into my room and dressed, she normally left me alone anyway. Today seemed no different as for the next ten minutes all I could hear was her slow breathing in the front room.

Once I was dressed and mostly calm, I tore back out of my room and to the kitchen. Mom had moved to the table there just moments before. She looked tired, her skin abnormally pale and her eyes drawn. I slammed open cabinets and drawers, not caring that I might actually break them. I was too pissed off at the moment.

"Could you maybe calm down and make yourself some dinner without destroying my kitchen?" I threw my plate into the sink where it shattered, some of the shards flinging out onto the floor and counters.

"You know Mom….why aren't you as pissed off as I am? All you do is sit around moping all day, you should be trying to do something!" My voice rose towards the end, but she didn't flinch. She sat as still as death, that same God damned blank expression on her face she had since Billy came and told us that Leah was dead.

"If there was anything I could do, don't you think I would have done it? Seth you seem to have forgotten a few laws. We don't get the same justice that others would get.

"It is Pack Law, and you know it. They had every right to do….to…to do what they did. I hate them just as much as you do, but there is nothing I can do. I'm not a wolf, just a simple human woman." She seemed to deflate at that, her shoulders curling inward as she slumped in on herself.

"What do you want me to do? Just bend over at take it like a good little puppy? I could have ended it today, I was so close. Of course then Jacob had to show up." I leaned back against the counter and buried my hands in my hair. I hated this, all of this. How had I once admire both Jacob and Sam? I had wanted to be like them, looked up to them like older brothers. Now they were both responsible for the murder of my sister.

"Oh God, Seth what did you do? Please tell me you didn't…." She trailed off as she turned and looked at me, really looked at me since Leah's death.

"Of course I did! You may not be able to do anything, but I can. I could have easily killed him had Jacob not showed up." She shot up from her chair and was in front of me in a moment. She set her hands on my chest and rested her head against my shoulder. I could smell the saltiness of the tears were just beginning to form in her eyes.

"No you wouldn't have. Sam is still strong, it will take years before he is fully human again. He would have killed you. Don't….don't go to him again. Killing him would not solve anything, it would only make you no better than the rest of them." I pushed her away from me, carefully as not to fling her to the floor.

"It would be better for everyone if he was dead! Mom, he has gone insane. He is not Sam anymore, and something needs to be done about him. Hell, he is not only putting the tribe in danger, he has Bella pretty much locked up in that house. As long as he is alive he won't let her go, and she is too stupid to see what he is doing to her." Mom tried to grab a hold of me again, but I just backed away.

"Promise me, Seth promise me you won't go after Sam again." I could hear and smell him and as I turned to look out the window sure enough Jacob was standing at the tree line.

"Don't worry, the mighty Alpha is here. Most likely to order me around some more. I'll see you later." I didn't even look at her to see if she had heard me before I turned and slammed out of the back door. It was best to get this over and done with.

"What the fuck do you think you were doing man?" Jacob hadn't even waited till I was halfway to him before he started yelling.

"I think I was going to be getting rid of a problem. It would have done you a favor, so don't act like you are upset about it. You are just trying to be the good little Alpha. Come on Jacob, stop being the Council's puppet. You can't tell me that given the chance you wouldn't kill that bastard?" Though he was normally in control I could see as he clenched his hands tighter.

"It doesn't matter if I want to or not, what does is what is right. And this is not right Seth. Revenge never leads anywhere good." I gave him an incredulous look, like he was one to talk.

"Revenge is what started this whole shitfest." He was silent for a moment, a nod of his head the only indication that he had heard and agreed with me.

"It is, but Seth you see where it has gotten us. If we don't put a stop to it now, it will just continue on, getting worse and worse. Enough people have been hurt. So, I don't want you to go anywhere near Sam or his house again." I shivered as the Alpha order washed over me.

"Of course Sir, whatever you want Sir!" I lifted my hand and saluted Jacob before turning and walking back into the house. I didn't care if he wasn't done speaking to me, if he had more to say he was going to have to order me to hear it. At the moment all I wanted to do was be alone.

* * *

I ended up sitting in Leah's room for the next two hours. Anymore it was the only place where I felt at peace. I sat on the edge of the bed, my head bowed down over one of the many pictures she had around her room.

It had been taken the summer before Sam had phased. Things had been happy then, she had been happy. Leah had once been a very bright girl, sure she had a temper on her, but she had never been the bitch she was after Sam dropped her.

I sighed as I looked at the picture. It was of Leah, Sam and myself down at the beach. The two of them had huge smiles on their faces and it was obvious to anyone looking that they loved each other. Before the phasing started they had planned to marry. Sam was looking forward to having a wife and family like he had been denied when he was younger. I had been looking forward to gaining a brother.

I sat the picture on the bed beside me. All those happy memories seemed more like stories of someone else's life now. Like they couldn't have possibly happened to me, that I had simply tried to put myself in someone else's story. I didn't know what to do, where to go from here.

Everything I tried to do in order to deal with this has been thwarted. Every path had been blocked, leaving me no choice but to follow the one everyone else wanted me to. To somehow act like nothing strange happened, that my sister was not murdered and I didn't have to interact with the ones that did it.

I could barely take it anymore. It hurt to wake up, it hurt to fall asleep. The pain was never ending, making me dizzy with grief. I wanted it to stop, I wanted off. I picked up the picture once more and looked down at Leah's smiling face.

There was one path left yet unblocked. One that Jacob had not thought to keep me from because most thought it impossible. But there was a way, and way to take it and end this pain.

I walked into the front room where Mom had fallen asleep on the couch. Taking the cover from the chair by the window, I covered her up and set the picture on the coffee table. This would hurt her, but maybe this was for the best. I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"I love you Mom." She never woke as I left the house. I briefly thought about making sure she didn't again, but that would be her choice. I didn't look back as I headed into the forest, I didn't even phase. I had to make sure this path remained unblocked until the end.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I'm not sure how long I stood just staring at the aisle of canned goods before I was interrupted. Just that it was enough to put a worried look on the face of Mrs. Newton.

"Huh, excuse me, what did you say?" I had to clear my throat just to speak without my voice cracking, I must have been there quiet awhile.

"I asked if you were alright. You've been standing there for at least thirty minutes. People have been trying to get you to move, but you just seemed to not hear them. Are you ok Dear?" I wanted to say that I damn well wasn't ok, I was far beyond ok. But I just found myself nodding 'yes' and picking up a couple of cans of corn.

Mrs. Newton didn't speak, but she also didn't move as I randomly threw cans into my basket. After a moment, once I realized that she didn't plan on going anywhere, I spoke.

"Can I ask you a question?" She started for a moment, and then smoothed out her face. Though behind her eyes I could see that glint that women got when they thought they were going to get a juicy piece of gossip.

"Of course Bella, ask away." I took a moment to figure out how to word this. It had been a jumble of thoughts in my on head up until that point, I wanted to make sure I didn't sound crazy when I spoke aloud.

"Say you had to choose between two men, now one of them you knew would love you and care for you for the rest of your life. The other you knew would take care of you, but your life would be much harder." I paused for a moment. I figured Mrs. Newton would try to commit me if I mentioned any of my thoughts about Edward.

"Ok, well Bella the type of life that you would have shouldn't figure into this." I nodded and held up my hand to stop her.

"I know, but I mean the life with both of them would be filled with difficulties, but being with the second one would cause more problems than anything." She bit her lip and took one of my hands in hers.

"Let me ask this, do you….I mean would I care for both of them?" I was never really good at this sort of thing, of course not that it was hard to realize I was talking about myself. At least I didn't start out with, "well I have this friend…."

"Yes, you would love them both, though you would love the first even more than the second." She nodded and gave me a small smile.

"Then I would say the choice is easy, the first man." I looked away from her as I delivered the last bit.

"But what if you knew for certain that the second man would die if you left? That you were all he had left in this world and he would actually die if you chose the first man? Could you choose the first knowing you would forever be guilty of the second's blood?" She dropped my hand and when I turned back to look at her it was to see her face filled with horror.

"I….I'm not sure this is something you should be asking me. I mean, I would say choose the first and that the second needs help." I figured she would say that, she couldn't understand. Not really, I wasn't talking about suicide. I knew for certain that Sam would waste away and die within days of my leaving.

"What if there was no help, no one but you? Could you live day after day knowing that you could have saved his life, but didn't? Could you live knowing his death was your fault?" My voice had gone a little hysterical, I knew. But I was long past caring.

"I…Bella, it sounds like you have already made up your mind. You only want someone to agree with you, and I'm not. Please listen to me, whoever this second man is, leave him. Choose the one that will love and care for you, and not hold his life over your head." She took a step back, her face still filled with horror and now sorrow.

"You won't though. Just be careful." She smiled a smile that hadn't reached her eyes and turned to leave.

I paid for my things without really paying attention to anything, put my bags in the bed of my truck, got into the cab and just sat there. I pulled out my cell and scrolled through the numbers, going back and forth between two names. Finally I chose one and hit 'call.'

"Hello…."

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	22. It All Had To Stop

Chapter Twenty-One: It All Had To Stop;

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I was worried about Charlie, he still had his mind, but I knew it would be so easy for him to slip. I had seen it happen, with Sam, with Leah, with my father. Things build up until there is just too much. You become overwhelmed and in one instant your mind slips, you are pushed over an edge that there is no returning from.

Charlie was too good of a man, and all of this had to stop. I would not allow him to go over that edge. That was why I was currently walking up to Jake's house after leaving the Chief. Charlie needed more than just someone lurking out in the bushes behind his house, he needed someone….period. I had no imprint, I was not Alpha or even Beta, nothing really important to do on the rez. I just hoped Jake saw it the same way I did.

I opened the door, already knowing that my Alpha was not there, only his father. Billy looked up at me from his wheelchair that he had pushed up to the window. His face was drawn, almost sickly looking.

"Jake left a few minutes ago." Even his voice was haggard sounding. He turned his head back to look outside.

"He didn't say where he was going did he?" Billy shook his head, and when he spoke he directed it to the window.

"He really doesn't talk to me anymore." That was all he said. After a moment I turned and walked out onto the porch. How many more lives were going to be ruined because of this?

* * *

(Seth's POV)

I knew they had smelled me long before I showed up, I could hear them as they shuffled out of their house. I still hadn't phased, no that would be one of the last things I would do. I took a deep breath and settled my shoulders back as I took those last few steps through the trees.

When I entered out the other side it was to six very confused vampires. After the battle with the newborns it wasn't all that unusual for me to be seen with one of them, mainly Edward. I was the only wolf that saw them as people, only now I didn't. I couldn't, not for what I was about to do.

I looked at each and every one of them, Edward being the only one missing. That I was glad of at least, after fighting alongside of him that day I was actually glad he wasn't going to be here for this. Carlisle and Esme looked at me with confused smiles, but smiles none the less. Alice had her face set in a scowl as she normally did, she always hated not being able to see past us wolves. Her mate Jasper just stood behind her as normal. Rose glared openly at me, and Emmett….he had this shit big grin on his face. He was always up for some fun. Only today I was going to use their strengths to my advantage.

I said nothing, just allowed my anger at Sam, at Jake, at this whole situation build and build. I could see when it started to affect Jasper. His hands were clenching, his eyes now pitch black. I turned away from them and before any of them could react I whispered a quick 'thank you' in the air, smiled and phased as I leapt at Emmett.

I would finally end it.

* * *

(Alice's POV)

I always hated whenever one of the pack was near, I could never see past any of them. The moment Seth stepped out in his human form I knew this would be the time I wished the hardest that I could see them. I wasn't wrong about that either.

He hadn't said anything, just stood there breathing heavily. I could smell his adrenaline rushing through his body, his heart beating frantically. What happened next would forever haunt me. He turned, phased and pounced at Emmett.

It was easy to see that the boy had no intention to simply play, as I had seen the two do before. No, he was going in for the kill. Rose realized this too, and before anyone had been able to stop it both her and Jasper had joined Emmett in attacking Seth. It was all a blur, even for me, and with one loud yelp the fight was over.

Jasper walked backwards until he was standing right beside me, I could see the horror of what just happened in his eyes. He had never wanted to kill another living, thinking, being again. And yet there on the wet forest floor was the broken body of Seth Clearwater.

Emmett stood over him, his hand running through his hair in a human gesture I rarely saw from him. Rose just sneered.

It hadn't been the fact that, not one, but three of us had killed one of the wolves that was going to haunt me. It was what the kid had done and said right before he phased. He had smiled, a smile of such happiness and contentment it actually hurt to look at. He had smiled that smile and whispered 'thank you.'

"What the fuck had he been thinking? This is great, just great! Lunatic wolf comes and attacks us and we all know they will blame us." Rose sneer, if it was even possible, got even uglier. She grabbed a hold Emmett's hand and started to pull him towards the house. He held back a moment and looked back down at Seth's body, that had returned human the moment he had died.

"Why?" I had never heard Emmett sound so confused.

"He wanted it. He wanted us to kill him." Before he could comment Rose had pulled him into the house, to pack and get out of Forks. I turned to Carlisle, even though the boy was dead I still couldn't see much, everything, all of us were too wrapped up with the wolves at the moment.

Carlisle left Esme's side and crouched down beside Seth. He took a moment to look him over, but we all knew he was dead.

"Jasper, get me a pair of shorts for him, and then help Rose and Emmett pack. I am not sure how Jacob and the pack will react to this, but either way she should leave.

"Esme, make the arrangements. Alice and I will take him back to the reservation. I don't feel right just leaving him here." Jasper had run in the house and right back with a pair of Edward's shorts. Carlisle slipped them on Seth and carefully picked him up, almost cradling him to his chest.

"Carlisle, you can't go there, I doubt they are going to believe that he broke the treaty first. They'll attack." Esme was most likely correct, I know had it been one of us we would have.

"Make the arrangements to leave, I will not leave him here. He deserves to be back home, so much has happened, too much. I am hoping that Jacob Black will be reasonable, now go." Esme waited a moment more before she went inside.

I moved into step beside Carlisle as we raced towards the border. Whatever happened now, all I could say with absolute certainty was that it was the end of something.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I drove my old truck slower than I ever had, but I wasn't really looking forward to this meeting. As I approached the rez border I took a few deep breaths. I was the one that had wanted this, that had to do this.

I stopped the truck just inside the line, but didn't shut it off. I took one last breath, opened the door and stepped out to face the two men that I knew I loved. The both looked confused, yet hopeful. When I had called each of them I had told them to meet me here, that I had finally made my decision. I really didn't want to do this, but I had too. It was time that I stopped leading three men on.

"Bella…." They both whispered my name like a praise, both at almost the same time. Their voices uttering my name like stabs to my heart.

"Don't….please neither of you talk until I have finished. If You do, I'm not sure I could get this out." They both nodded. Jake held his hands in the pockets of his shorts, he was practically bouncing where he stood. He was always so youthful, almost innocent, and full of warmth and brightness.

In contrast, Edward stood perfectly still, his hands folded behind his back. He was always so serious, and yet I knew there was a playful side to him that he only let out when he didn't have to pretend. I shuffled my feet a little, ran a hand through my hair and with the last bit of courage I had, looked at both of them.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I have put you both through. I have never meant to hurt either of you, I still don't. I'm not sure what I have done in my life to have gained the love of both of you, or to be able to love both of you back.

"I have to be honest, I really didn't want to give either of you up, but…." I swallowed, this was where things got tricky and possibly dangerous.

"Through this whole thing I have been trying to figure out which one of you I could live without, what I should have been doing is figuring out which one couldn't live without me. And I have." I stopped and looked at each of them, at first they both looked even more hopeful, but I could see the moment when they realized that something was wrong. I cut them off before they could say anything.

"Neither of you….neither of you need me. Want me, yes. Need me to continue to live, no. Neither of you will die if I leave you. You won't wither away, Sam will. He needs me, needs me more than anybody. I can't leave him when I know he will die once I'm gone. I can't have his death on me. Can't and won't." They both grew angry, I could see it in the shaking of Jake's body, in the blackness of Edward's eyes. I remained quiet knowing what was coming next.

"What the fuck? Bella have you gone crazy? You can't just fucking choose him, this is wrong. Wrong on so many fucking levels. It wouldn't even be your fault when he dies, it is what is suppose to happen when a wolf's imprint dies." I could feel the tears fall from my eyes, but I didn't wipe them away.

"I love both of you, more than anything in this world. But this time it's not about me, I will not allow Sam to die. How can I when he wants to live, to be human again? How can I let him die when I know I can prevent it?" Edward took a stiff step forward, almost like he was holding himself back from something.

"I won't let you do this Isabella. We won't allow it, you know that." I shook my head and took a few steps back towards my truck.

"I'm not asking permission, and you know that. I have made my choice, and if either of you try to stop me from returning to Sam in any way I promise I will never forgive you. I….I…I will hate you both, in the end you will still lose me." I reached behind me and grasped the handle of the truck door. I didn't want to say any of this, but I would just so I could save one life.

"No! Hate us, never forgive us, it doesn't matter! You will not be going anywhere!" I pulled the door open and carefully stepped back up into the cab. It was a wonder that I didn't fall flat on my face. I sat down and turned my legs so they were on the pedals, my hand on the door ready to close it. I knew what I said next would hurt them, it hurt me to think them.

"I would never forgive you, neither of you. Probably for the best anyway, better for me to leave you both. The Damned and the Monster. Better that I hate you and leave you now, before either of you end up killing me. Before I end up dinner or like poor Emily.

"Better that I never loved either of you." With that I shut the door and slammed my foot to the floor, pushing my truck to it's limit. I knew both of them could have easily caught up to me, but they remained standing in the middle of the road. One with tears in his eyes, the other crumpled completely to the ground.

When I knew I was far enough away, I allowed the tears to fully flow and whispered for the last time that I loved them both.

* * *

When I pulled up to Sam's it was to find him pacing on the porch. He looked angry as he stomped towards me and practically tore the door off. He pulled me out of the cab, one of his hands wrapping around my upper arm harshly the other tangling in my hair with enough force to pull it out. He yanked my head back and glared into my eyes before he ran his nose from the collar of my shirt and all the way up my neck to behind my ear.

He growled and threw me away from him before stalking towards me, his face scrunched in anger.

"You smell like them, why were you anywhere near them Bella? You are mine, you shouldn't be around them. Mine!" I tried to control my shaking, he had never reacted this way towards me before, never like he could actually kill me.

"I…I…Sam I was telling them goodbye. I told them that I was your's and that I didn't want them around me anymore. I swear, Sam, I promise! I told them I wouldn't leave you, I promised you that, remember?" This seemed to calm him, the angry look on his face melting into an almost evil smirk. He grabbed me once again and pulled me to him, his lips crashing upon mine. He nipped and sucked, and I could taste a bit of blood from where his teeth had cut my lip.

He dragged me inside the house, up towards our room, and with a growl he threw me on the bed. He stood there, just stood there and watched me. He slowly kneeled before me, his hands on the bed on either side of me. It was weird to watch as his smirk dropped from his lips and he gave me an almost soft look.

"You are mine, Bella. I'm your Protector now, I will keep you safe from everyone. No one will ever hurt you again, I won't allow it. You understand me?" I nodded, my hand raising up to cup his face, thankfully he didn't seem to notice how bad I was shaking.

"Good, you won't leave me, you won't ever leave me. I won't leave you either, you are mine and I am your's. Forever." He turned his head and kissed my hand before he lowered his head to lie on my lap. He kept muttering about me being his, over and over again, his hands soon coming up from beside me to pop a few of my buttons loose on my shirt.

He never looked up, but I knew what he was doing, and it scared me. He had finished unbuttoning my shirt and his hand slid lower until he grasped the button on my jeans and popped it as well. He stopped and looked up at me, cocking his head.

"You _are_ mine, right Bella?" I nodded, but he didn't say or do anything, just stared at me. Slowly I grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled it off. He smiled wide then.

"Good girl."

I cried silently through it all, doing whatever he told me to do. Afterwards he pulled me to him tightly, his hand resting against my stomach. He moved it in circles, slowly, ever so slowly.

"You are going to make a wonderful mother, Bella. A wonderful mother." My breath caught in my throat. What have I done?

* * *

(Jake's POV)

Monster….Monster….that word played over and over in my head. I knew that she hadn't meant it, she had wanted to shock us just enough to allow her to get away. It had worked too, but this was one thing I agreed with Edward on. I no longer cared if she hated me, never forgave me, I was not about to allow her to stay with Sam. He had gone completely insane, I had seen that when he confronted Seth.

I should have forced her away from him in the first place, I would have lost her, but she would have been safe.

Edward stood from the ground beside me, his eyes focused where Bella had just driven off to. He nodded at me quickly, a gesture I guess meant he agreed with me. Again I was finding myself joining with this damned leech in order to protect Bella. I was ready to take off to Sam's when Edward suddenly turned the other way, his face wide with shock.

I turned to where he was looking and watched as two other leeches approached. I growled, but not because of the presence of Carlisle or Alice, but the body that the blonde leech was holding. I felt a pain in my chest and stomach as I recognized Seth.

They ran up to us, Seth's bloody and broken body clutched to Carlisle's chest. Edward was looking between the two of them, most likely reading their thoughts of what had happened. I could feel my body shaking, the want and need to phase there, but I held back. The look on their three faces, and the care in which Seth was being held didn't speak of evil intent.

"It wasn't." Edward's voice was soft for once, even though I knew he didn't like us he hadn't hated Seth either. Carlisle looked towards me, his face etched with a look of sadness.

"He approached us at our house, we came to meet him thinking that he might have a message. Instead he attacked Emmett, one thing lead to another and…." He trailed off and looked down at the body in his arms. I really shouldn't have believed him, I should have phased and called the others to attack. But this somehow didn't surprise me, hurt me, yes. Shocked, no.

"He told us 'thank you' and smiled before he attacked, I know you probably won't believe us, but…." I held up my hand, trying to hold back the tears. Seth had been like a little brother at one time, such a happy kid. A friend.

"I believe you, I shouldn't, but I do. Seth has not been like himself lately, ever since Leah's death. He tried to attack Sam earlier today. He planned on killing him. I should have realized that this could happen, but I never really…." I stopped and cleared my throat. As Alpha I had a choice to make now, I knew what the pack and everyone else would want. To declare war on the Cullens. Even though Seth struck first, he was dead and the treaty was now broken. Completely and utterly broken. I could so easily sentence them all to death, or I could end it all now.

I remembered what I had talked to Seth about just awhile ago. About revenge. That is what this war would be, not justice, but revenge. If I didn't put a stop to it now it would never stop. So many would die. An eye for an eye left the whole world blind. I had never understood that more than I did now. Revenge could never stop unless someone decided to stop it. And I was deciding.

"Do you think they will listen to you?" I looked at Edward and nodded.

"I'm Alpha and tribal leader, if they don't willingly I will make them." He nodded his head once and turned to Carlisle.

"Give Seth to him." Carlisle took a step closer and placed Seth in my arms. I was grateful they had least clothed him.

"Leave, now. Leave Forks, leave Washington. If I were you I would leave America, and don't ever come back. Not even when we are all dead, I can assure you will remain un-hunted in this lifetime, not in any other." Without another word Alice and Carlisle ran off, Edward stayed and just turned to me.

"Bella?" I looked down at Seth and back up at him.

"I will do what I can, but you can't come back here." I adjusted Seth in my arms, looking down at his mangled form. When I looked up again Edward was gone.

* * *

I walked quickly towards my house, passing people and ignoring their screams and gasps. By the time I had gotten to the porch where Paul was sitting, I had a crowd following behind me. Dad wheeled out onto the porch, his face wide with shock, tears already streaming from his eyes.

I sat Seth on the porch, and in seconds the pack surrounded us, all of the shaking and crying at the same time. But I knew this wouldn't be the hardest. I could hear her behind me, someone must have seen me and gotten her. I looked over my shoulder as Sue slowly walked up to all of us, her face was pale and her eyes wet. She clutched something that looked like a photograph to her chest. The moment she saw Seth she screamed and stumbled the rest of the way over.

I had to grab her shoulders in order to steady her as she kneeled over the bloody body of her son. She mumbled over and over as she stroked his hair away from his face. A face that was strangely smiling. I let go of her as she pulled away to lie across his body.

"Who did this?" All of the pack stood before me, hands clenched tightly as they tried not to phase in front of every one. I knew with just one word they would become a powerful army, all ready to destroy. I just shook my head.

"It's time that this all ends. No more are going to die, no more fighting. It is over. They are gone and no one is going to go after them, and that is an order." This was the first time I have ever used an Alpha order on the whole pack, but this was important.

"It ends now."

* * *

Author's Note: AHHH Don't kill me! I know this is a very dark story, but I couldn't find a way to give this an HEA that really made much sense in my mind.

Now for those wondering, yeah Sam forced Bella. When I had first started writing this story and it had a different outcome, I had planned out a full lemon. But as I realized just how the story was going to turn out, I decided that I would gloss over it as I'm not comfortable writing noncon.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	23. Epilogue

Epilogue:

* * *

(Paul's POV)

There is a saying that goes, 'Time heals all wounds.' Whoever coined that was a fucking idiot. Time might numb the pain a little, but that wound is still fucking there. Still oozing acid and pus, rotting and reminding.

It has been ten years since all that shit happened. Ten fucking years, and that wound still exists, it has simply been bandaged up. I wish I could say that everything calmed down after Jake brought Seth's body back to the Rez. That would be a lie though.

After everything died down, after all those that had not needed to be there had been sent away, Jake had marched his way to Sam's with the rest of the pack behind him. He hadn't explained at the time, we only knew that something had finally snapped for our Alpha and he had seemed to come to his senses. Of course nothing ever goes right, there is always some complication.

By the time we had made it to Sam's it was obvious that it was too late. Bella's truck was missing as were several things from the house. Jake had stormed through the house, tearing things left and right as he searched. It was as if he thought he might find Bella huddled in a corner somewhere.

The rest of us just stood as he tore apart the house, at least until we heard him screaming and growling. We had run up to the bedroom to find Jake totally destroying it. By the smell in the air and the small amount of blood still on the sheets it wasn't hard to figure out what had happened.

From that moment on Jake was changed. He no longer even tried to enjoy life, everything was about the pack and finding Bella.

We buried Seth a few days later, and Sue a year after that. We had all tried to bring her out of her depression, but we couldn't do shit for her. She had lost her husband and both her children. The kindest thing we could have done was allow her to slip off quietly. She had died in her sleep on the anniversary of Seth's death.

As for what has happened with the rest of us? Some of us have had it easier than others. Jared and Kim eventually married, Claire grew up and her Quil quickly became the love of her life. Embry, for awhile, had spent most of his time helping Jake to find Bella and Sam. But he, as the rest of us, soon realized that it was a fruitless effort. He met a girl in Seattle, a sweet and quiet little thing, and was due to marry her in a month.

Jake's relationship with his father was strained, both of them blaming Billy for what happened. Billy spent most of his days just sitting in front of the TV, as Charlie still refused to talk to him. Even though I have tried to get the two together again.

Jake still hasn't given up on Bella, he swore that he would one day find her. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he planned to kill Sam when he did. He may have preached to us about letting revenge go after we all found out how Seth died, but no one would fault him for what he planned to do. Let's not fucking beat around the bush, it was partly revenge, but it was also for everyone's safety. Sam Uley was gone, he had died the moment Emily did. Only his body remained, a body that still had the ability to phase into a giant wolf and had no conscience. We all were plagued with nightmares of what Sam might have and might be doing to Bella.

For what had happened to me, I guess I have it pretty damn good. At least compared to some. After Bella's disappearance I had insisted that I be the one to tell her father. Charlie had of course broken down, though not before he begged me for his gun back. He had planned to track them down and kill Sam. The only thing that stopped him was the knowledge that Jake planned on taking care of it. It hadn't surprised me when Charlie had only nodded and said he needed to teach Jake to fire a gun. There was nothing a father's love wouldn't drive a man to do. It was something I understood myself now.

I spent that night with Charlie, sitting at the kitchen table with cups of hot frothed milk. For the next week I remained there, then the week after that, and after that. Eventually I moved most of my things into his house.

Charlie had become a father to me, and though I knew I would never replace Bella, I hoped that he thought of me as a son. I found my mate in Jake's sister Rachel, she had come to visit and one look was all it had taken. We married quickly, and now several years later we still lived in Forks with Charlie and our two children. Both of which called Charlie Grandpa.

I wish that I could say that something really good had come out of that shitfest, something that wouldn't have happened otherwise, but that would be a fucking lie. There is no lesson, no real moral. Just one really fucked up story.

There is no happily ever after.

Only a…

"And they survived."

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I'm not sure how many years have past since I chose this life. Time seems to be only something from a fairytale. And I was most assuredly not in a fairytale.

After I slept with Sam that day, how ever many years ago, he had quickly shot up in a panic. He had started rambling on about how we needed to leave, and quickly. He said that now that Jake and the others knew, that they would come after me. He kept repeating over and over again about how they were coming to hurt me, to take me away from him like Leah took Emily. That we wouldn't allow them to take his family away again.

We quickly packed what we could, and stuffed in my old truck. I had curled up in the passenger's seat of the cab and cried. Sam would reach over and rest his hand on my leg, making small shhing noises and trying to comfort me. He had thought I was scared that they would try to take me away, to kill me and the 'baby.'

Since that moment my life had changed. I was no longer Bella Swan and he was not Sam Uley. We were John and Lily Shelley, newlyweds. The first few months scared me the most. Sam stole to get money for food, he crashed my truck on propose and set it on fire. The things he had done so we wouldn't ever be found bothered me.

Eventually he was able to find this nice little family that owned a farm and needed help. The Williams. They had taken us in, Mrs. William going on and on about how Sam…or John shouldn't have allowed his wife to travel in my condition.

After that first night Sam had wanted to sleep with me every chance he got. It hadn't hurt as much as the first time, and once he knew no one could get me, he had made sure that it was enjoyable for me. This all meant that I quickly got pregnant, as we never used protection of any kind.

I gave birth to our first child, a son named David, while we lived with the Williams. When David had been old enough Sam moved us, packed the car that Mr. William had given us in the middle of the night, leaving nothing but a letter to let the family know we had gone.

For the past few years…or more, I am still unsure of the time. David looks to be ten or eleven, but I couldn't tell you. But during this time we went from farm to farm, finding people to work for, people that wouldn't ask too many questions.

We currently lived with a nice older couple, Mary and Frank Edmonds. They were very old and grey, they had never had children and they could barely take care of the farm on their own. Sam had told me that he suspected that they had put us in their Will. He hoped that we would now have a place to stay from now on.

We needed it. David wasn't the only child we had, there were also the twins; Julie and Jessie, and then little Walter. We had a fourth on the way, and I hoped final. Though I knew Sam wanted as many as my body could carry.

Sam…Sam isn't Sam anymore, and I don't think he even sees me as Bella. Many times he had slipped up while he moved over me, growling out Emily. And yet sometimes Bella.

I know I should have found a way to have left him, should have tried to contact Jake or my Dad, but I'm stuck with him. Not because of anything he had done, but me. It was stupid, wrong and dangerous, but over these years I have found myself falling in love with him. It scared me to be without him, it scared me to even leave the house anymore. He had been so strict, saying he was protecting me. Always worried someone was going to take me and the children from him.

He only allowed those he approved of near me. I have seen him beat people almost to the point of death because he said they were a threat to our family. I wouldn't be surprised if he had actually killed.

I smiled weakly from my little rocking chair by the window as Sam walked into the room. I knew it was not me who he loved, I was nothing more than a shadow of Emily. But I would take what I could get, I was too frightened to be without him.

In the end I knew that was what he had planned.

In the end...

* * *

A.N. And that is the end. Yes, Dark, and I'm sorry for those that wanted a happy ending. Sadly sometimes that just doesn't happen. There will not be a sequel to this, not a chapter story or even a oneshot. Again sorry, I did try at first to make this story go in a happy direction, but it had it's own mind.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


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